VOICE: The Glenn Beck program presents Spotlight on Science.
PRESIDENT OBAMA: We'll restore science to its rightful place.
VOICE: Dedicated to President Obama's passion for everything science.
GLENN: Well, I've got to tell you, I'm just clinging to my God and my guns. So I'm just a dummy when it comes to science. But scientists are studying very, very hard and constantly researching endless amounts of data all in the name, of course, of "The greater good." Well, let's look behind the scenes in some of these great discoveries they have. The National Science Foundation, a $6 billion agency, putting science right where she belongs is one way that we help find all these great discoveries. It funds 10,000 research grants a year at U.S. colleges and universities and they are set to get another $3 billion in the stimulus bill. Thanks to Iowa senator Charles Grassley who's putting together his semi-annual report on the agency, we finally get a glimpse of all the great work American taxpayers have funded for these scientists. Grassley in his report noticed that many of the National Science Foundation employees were not researching their assigned topics and instead were focusing on a different research project. That can happen sometimes, especially when scientists get excited about a new discovery. They just keep on searching and searching for more answers. One senior official has worked tirelessly for two years and 20%, each and every one of his workdays are spent right there at the office on a new research project, an apparent life passion and that is porn. He was methodical in his efforts, surfing porn sites and having a sexually explicit chats with women online and e-mailing porn around the office. He has accounted for more than $58,000 in losses for the National Science Foundation for time lost and use of government funds. The official retired when he was told he would be dismissed. I hope he got his retirement package.
Now, I know what you're thinking. All those billions and only one guy devoted to researching porn. No, no, apparently there are dozens of employees at the National Science Foundation who were excited about the new porn research project and throngs of scientists at the National Science Foundation are now focusing their research on porn just for you. Several other employees were verbally admonished or briefly suspended for porn found on their hard drives and at least three more were dismissed. Thankfully this is a government agency. So the epidemic of studying porn is being dealt with as the entire staff along with being verbally admonished must take an online test now to make sure they know what and what is not allowed during work hours. Thank goodness we have scientists, though. Me, I mean, you know, I just would have expected that everybody in the office knew you don't spend your time during the workday downloading porn and then I just would have fired all the clowns. But that is because I'm just hanging onto my God and my guns. If it weren't for government scientists, we would have never known the way to take care of this is to administer a test to all of your employees.
VOICE: You've been listening to Spotlight on Science, exclusively heard on the Glenn Beck program. America's number one source for science and science-related items.