GLENN: You've got to ask yourself, America, who the heck are we? Trashing the fridge. A few environmentalists are getting rid of their refrigerators for good.
Okay, I mean, I think I need to stop right there. If you are getting rid of your refrigerator for the planet, you're dumb as a box of rocks. About a year ago 32-year-old Rachel Muston decided to go big in her effort to be more environmentally responsible. After mulling the idea over for several weeks, she and her husband -- oh, I've got all kinds of things to say about him -- Scott Young did many things -- did something that many would find unthinkable. They unplugged their refrigerator for good. I love this quote: Ms. Muston said, "It's been a while and we're pretty happy." You're pretty happy? I've had a refrigerator my whole life and I'm very happy! I got ice cream by the bucketful in my freezer downstairs.
"As drastic as the move might seem, a small segment of the green movement has come to regard the refrigerator as unacceptable drain on their energy and is choosing to live without it." I'd like to know, is she a meat eater still? Is she still eating meat?
"In spite of its ubiquity, 99.5% of American homes have one. These advocates say the refrigerator is unnecessary." No, it's not. Hey, Laura Ingalls, I'm not getting rid of the refrigerator. Sorry. I ain't going out to milk the cow, either. I'm not going to go chop down my own environmentally friendly wood and put it in the fireplace. I'm going to turn on a furnace. Why don't you get rid of your stove, too. Why don't you -- here's an idea. Why don't you just put a fireplace in your kitchen, hmmm? You wouldn't have to use any energy. Of course, you'd have to use wood, but you could grow your own forest. Why not do that? "Ma, pa, could we just have a little bit of coal in our little bed warmer?" "No, honey, not coal. It's bad for the environment." "But I'm freezing up here." That's too bad, isn't it?
Ms. Muston estimated that her own refrigerator was in the house when they bought it five years ago. Is it necessary to say it was in the house? We want you to know it was in the house; we're not an environmental criminal! Most likely dates back to much longer, used 1300 kilowatt-hours per year and produced roughly 2,000 pounds of carbon dioxide. Oh, that's all? This is about the same as burning 105 gallons of gasoline. May I ask you a question? To keep your meat, which is environmentally friendly, cold and safe so you don't have to eat beef jerky, to keep your milk which is environmentally unfriendly cold and unspoiled, to keep, you know, any of the other things that might come in plastic containers that are environmentally unfriendly, safe for your family, would you burn 105 gallons of gasoline in a year? I mean, is that worth it or am I just a crazy hate mongering nut job? 105 gallons of gasoline? For a cold glass of milk? For my meat not to be spoiled in the days when I was drinking for a cold glass of beer after mowing the lawn with my environmentally unfriendly lawn mower? I'll burn 1,000 gallons.
"It seems wasteful to me to even use an Energy Star rated refrigerator because I'm getting along fine without one." Good, enjoy that. "She now uses a small freezer in the basement in tandem with a cooler upstairs. The cooler is kept cold by 2 liter soda bottles full of frozen water." Wait a minute. Kept cold by frozen water in 2 liter soda bottles? Those better not be plastic bottles. That's bad for the environment! "When we had the fridge, we were eating a lot of prepared food from the grocery store." She said, "Now the cooler has limited room." Asked whether the couple had to give up any cherished food, she said, "Yeah, cold beer. Scott can't come home and grab a cold beer." Scott, what are you -- you're living with a crazy woman! You don't need beer? Or did you just graduate to the hard stuff?
Then it goes to Ms. Barnes. She also decided to use a cooler which she refilled daily during the summer with ice that she brought home from an ice machine at her office. Well, if you -- excuse me? From an ice machine? So you -- as long as you're not making the ice, you're okay? "There's an ice machine there; I'm just going to use that one." "That worked fine until she began to travel out of town for her job this fall and then the system hit a snag." I hope she's not using a plane.
Stu, do you think she's using an environmentally friendly bike or she's walking? Do you think she's packing all of her hemp clothes in a hemp bag when she goes on the plane? She's not using a plane. She wouldn't do that, would she?
STU: Well, she's using a plane. It's obviously powered by hemp.
GLENN: I hope she doesn't use anything on the plane that was kept in a refrigerator. "In the end she compromised and bought a minifridge. I can drop the refrigerator completely if I had a milkman." I love this: I could drop the refrigerator completely if I had a milkman. Does the milkman magically appear on your doorstep every day? Is that what happens? Just magically the milk -- just, what? You open the little box and the milk is there. He's driving a big milk truck. Let me think now. How many days a week now do you need the milkman to come because you don't have a refrigerator? How many days a week does the milkman have to come and deliver your milk? Which milk comes from a cow which is environmentally unfriendly. Why are you drinking milk? You green idiot!
People on the Internet are trading tips about food storage. Quote: In the winter I put perishables like mayonnaise outside. They cite residents of developing countries and eco celebrities like Colin Beavan. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. They're sharing tips on the website about food storage that they get from residents in developing countries. I'm not going to live like the people in Africa! I'm just sayin'. Colin Beavan, the self-proclaimed "No impact" man who ditched his refrigerator during the year that he tried to make no net impact on the environment is proof that people can get along fine without electric refrigeration. Is he still doing it? Or did he only do it to prove a point? If you are still doing it, Colin Beavan, well, then it would be all right, wouldn't it, I guess? "What, I did it. I did it for a year. That was more than you'll do it." Why don't you do it for the rest of your life, mountain man.
Quote: Refrigerator lust is just one of the things driving huge energy use increases in the developing world. Refrigerator lust. I'm trying to remember all of the ten commandments. Thou shalt not kill is in there, I know. Is -- Stu, is thou shalt not put a hemp sock in people's mouth and accidentally lock them in their own basements and then just forget where you put the key, is that against the ten commandments?
STU: Not against the original ten commandments.
GLENN: Probably the new ones?
STU: Yeah, the new ones. I think it was in one of Al Gore's books.
GLENN: I mean, it would be hemp. I would even tie them, tie them up with hemp string.
GLENN: And they are probably so weak because they haven't had meat.
STU: Yeah, you wouldn't need more than hemp.
GLENN: Yeah, wouldn't need any more than hemp string. Not twine. You know, regular people could get out, you know. They could get out of stuff, you know, twine or something. I don't even tie it very tight and I'll put like a Nerf door up there. But somebody who's not had refrigeration, meat or anything else, "I can't make it up the stairs, which doesn't matter anyway because he put hemp thread around my legs and I can't bust out of it."
STU: Yeah, the good thing about hemp -- because, you know, when you get tied up in rope, then you have that little trick where you can burn a hole through the rope?
STU: But if you burn a hole through the hemp, then you just get tired anyway so you don't leave.
GLENN: Yes, but you want to leave because you are thinking about Doritos. "Before making the switch, Mr. Campbell, 53, already hued to a diet focused on long-lived staples like beans and grains but had begun to can the vegetables he grows in the garden behind his house in Columbus, Ohio." Well, this guy at least sounds smart. "And then he uses a small chest freezer for fruit and leftover soups. He has no trouble whipping up a meal. One thing he hasn't been able to adjust to is the reaction from friends. Even people who I meet are energy conscious gasp when they hear I'm going without a refrigerator." Because you're a weirdo. I don't think I've used the word "Weirdo" since I was 7.
"If I was going to examine my life and ask how would I reduce my carbon footprint, maybe I should ask, should I stop eating meat?" Yeah, yeah, maybe you should. "The sort of practical calculus has led many advocates sustainable living to view the unplugged fridge as dubious practices." They point out that it is likely to result in more trips to the store which burns more gas for those who drive and the purchase of food in smaller portions, thus more packaging. It's easy to look at your electric bill and say, "I'm saving energy, I'm saving the planet, but you need to look at the whole supply change.
What a hate monger. How did she get into the New York Times? What a hate monger she is. And then they have tips here on if you have to have a cold beer and, you know, you want to give up your refrigerator, here's what you do. I don't think so. What would it take for you to give up your refrigerator? I can't think of anything. I can't think of anything. What would it take to give up your refrigerator? I mean besides, you know, it's the only way to live? I mean, I can't live any place else because I'm hiding from the oppressive, you know, global controlled governance. I'm living off of sticks and berries and seeds in the middle of a forest.
STU: Isn't the refrigerator one of the top three or four appliances that you couldn't -- I mean, I can't think of anything that I would need more.
GLENN: Okay, there are a few things that I'm not going to get rid of in my house. I'm not getting rid of the toilet. Never am I going back outside. I'm not getting rid of my refrigerator. I'm not getting rid of my heat and air conditioning. Sorry.
STU: Air conditioning, necessity.
GLENN: Kill me. Yeah. I get ready -- you know my car? I'll commute. I'll go from -- I'll just work from home. That's fine. You know, you come up with a way of working from home. Or I'll just live in a city where, you know, I don't have to be, you know, surrounded by millions of people and we'll just be, you know, A Little House on the Prairie town and I'll get into the wagon. "You're going to make slaves out of animals?" Yep, with whips. And then when they're too tired, I'll eat them.