| Couple Of The Year - Volume 1 |
Quite possibly our favorite show of the year-the "Couple of the Year" presentation. Listen back to some of our best moments from these classic shows - available as a CD or download it instantly in MP3 format.
GLENN: Let me go to Kirk who is -- who wants to be our couple of the year contestant. We have Kirk on the phone? Kirk, how are you, sir?
CALLER: Well, I'm about six feet underneath the doghouse right now.
GLENN: What happened on Valentine's? Why did you forget your wife, you know, Valentine's Day?
CALLER: Well, you know, Valentine's Day I was -- I went north to go snowmobiling and just totally didn't even pay attention to the day. You know, I lost track of days. I know you --
GLENN: I said slugs.
CALLER: All these advertisements, all this stuff. And I'm like, gee, I've got to do that, I've got to do that, oh, yeah, I've got to do that.
GLENN: I told you!
CALLER: And I never did it. And, you know, then I went up north and went snowmobiling with my buddy and, yeah, this is not good.
GLENN: Now, I just filled out a form letter for you. Your wife's name is Carolyn?
CALLER: Yes, it is.
GLENN: How angry was she?
CALLER: Well, you know, we really didn't speak a whole lot when I came home.
GLENN: Oh, boy.
CALLER: I just, I got home kind of late and she just was like, well, how was your weekend. And I'm like, well, hardly there was hardly any snow up there.
STU: Glenn, you should know, too, we have to get to Carolyn and also that Kirk forgot a birthday as well recently. So he's in the major, major doghouse.
GLENN: Okay, listen. Listen to me. You better send -- where are you sending her? Where are you taking her to dinner?
CALLER: I'd like to go to Gilbert's up in Lake Geneva.
GLENN: Is it expensive?
CALLER: Yes, it is.
GLENN: Really expensive, like make your eyes bleed expensive?
CALLER: Yeah, it's what gets the country out of recession, it's so expensive.
GLENN: I hope you bleed all over the table when you're doing this, you forget your wife's birthday and Valentine's Day. Okay, you ready?
STU: How many seconds, Glenn?
GLENN: Let me give him -- he forgot a birthday, too. Eight seconds. Do you know how to do this, Kirk?
CALLER: Yeah, I was listening to one of the other former.
GLENN: I'm going to say, do you have anything else to say? And you say, yes, Carolyn. Then you count to eight slowly, Carolyn, then you count to eight, "I love you." You got it?
CALLER: Jeez, I hope I can do this.
GLENN: You better do it.
CALLER: I'm going to do it. I mean, I'm gonna. I have to.
GLENN: Here we go. Let's go ahead and start the introduction, put her on hold so she can hear the show. And that's coming up and today's going to be sunny and 76 degrees.
VOICE: And now it's the contest a year in the making, it's Glenn Beck's quest to find America's ultimate couple of love. The essays have been written, the heartfelt words have been read and the winner has been selected. So now to introduce the country's most passionate pair, here's the love god himself, Glenn Beck.
GLENN: Well, here we are on the program and we were supposed to do this on Friday but as you know if you are a regular listener to the program, you know what happened to me and I broke my leg and wasn't able to be here on Friday. So we had to postpone and Stu called our winner and told him not to reveal it to his wife and he is on the phone with us now. Hello, Kirk, how are you?
CALLER: Well, I'm okay.
GLENN: You were in trouble this weekend?
CALLER: I believe so, I believe so, yeah.
GLENN: But does she know? Did you give her any indication that this was happening?
CALLER: No, no, sir.
GLENN: Wow, I'm sorry, Kirk. I just had an accident. I was out repairing the roof and it's a long story, but sorry about that. So let me get Carolyn on the phone. Is she with us?
CALLER: I'm here.
GLENN: Hi, Carolyn, how are you?
CALLER: I'm good, Glenn, how are you?
GLENN: I'm good. I have to apologize. Are you a listener to this show?
CALLER: Yes, actually. Kirk and I actually have breakfast together every morning and listen to you just first thing.
GLENN: This should be great then. So you're both listeners to the program and Carolyn, what happened this weekend?
CALLER: You know, it's funny because I'm kind of in the same boat as you because you and I actually share the same birthday and then Valentine's Day came and went and so did my birthday and absolutely nothing. Kirk actually went snowmobiling this weekend.
GLENN: You know what, Carolyn, I have to be honest with you. There's -- you know, we do this couple of the year contest every year, and I've --
GLENN: I've never, ever come to the point to where I have to tell someone the truth.
STU: Yeah, the truth.
GLENN: But I have to tell you the truth.
STU: Your husband --
GLENN: Because I can't -- you sound like a wonderful woman and you're a listener and you sound great. Kirk called to have me cover his ass for Saturday, and I'm just not ready to do it.
CALLER: Oh, no.
GLENN: I'm just not willing to do it.
CALLER: Oh, no.
STU: You are totally breaking the trust of the audience.
CALLER: Oh, no.
GLENN: What? By what, lying? By lying to Carolyn who listens to the program. She trusts me. I mean, look, you don't know me, that's fine, whatever, I'll help out a listener.
CALLER: You go the way of the girl. I get how this works.
GLENN: Yeah, yeah.
STU: This is a total sellout.
GLENN: What did you say, Carolyn?
CALLER: I'm surprised.
GLENN: You're surprised what? At Kirk or at me?
CALLER: I don't know. I don't know what to think.
GLENN: Listen, here's the thing. Your husband got busy last week. He forgot. He forgot. That's what happened. He went snowmobiling.
CALLER: The water heater.
GLENN: That's what guys do. We forgot. You know what I mean? We just move on with our life. So he forgot. Then he called me. He wanted me, because I do a contest where I covered for schlubs because I'm a schlub, too. But then I get you on the phone. I can't do it. I can't do it to you. You sound nice. So I can't cover. Now here's what he's going to do. He's going to take you out to Gilbert's.
GLENN: He says that's a really nice place. Is it?
CALLER: It is. It's actually where we got married.
GLENN: I want you to order the most expensive thing on the menu.
GLENN: Yeah. Not on me. On him. I want you to eat -- I want you to -- and I don't even want you to eat it all. I want you to have like -- I want you to have surf and turf and ask for extra, extra surf. And then don't even eat it all. And when he says, are you going to eat that, say... no, and neither are you.
GLENN: Now Kirk?
CALLER: Yeah. Yes?
GLENN: I want you at the referral box to use my name Glenn Beck at checkout. That's Legalzoom.com.