 Couple Of The Year - Volume 1Quite possibly our favorite show of the year-the "Couple of the Year" presentation. Listen back to some of our best moments from these classic shows - available as a CD or download it instantly in MP3 format. |
GLENN: Hello, Pete, you're on the Glenn Beck program.
CALLER: How are you doing?
GLENN: Good, how are you?
CALLER: Good. Been sick all weekend, seriously in the doghouse.
GLENN: What happened?
CALLER: Got to help me out. Well, I've just been sick. She comes in Valentine's morning, hands me a card, candy, and I didn't get her squat.
GLENN: What did you say?
CALLER: I said I'm sorry, honey, but I didn't get you anything. I've been sick. She says, that's no excuse.
GLENN: I hate that. I hate that, "It's no excuse." Okay, what is her name?
CALLER: Her name is Cheryl.
GLENN: Now, you know if she catches you in this, you're in even more trouble?
CALLER: I know.
GLENN: But you're willing to take that risk?
CALLER: I'm willing to take that risk.
GLENN: Okay. Let me just fill out the form letter that you sent to me. You entered this contest.
CALLER: Okay.
GLENN: And you entered -- I'm going to hell her that you entered this contest months ago and we called you on Friday, we were supposed to award this to you and we asked you -- because I was gone, we asked you not to tell her.
CALLER: Okay.
GLENN: Okay? So dear Mr. Beck, I've never entered a contest like this before, however, I felt I had to tell you about my beautiful wife, right?
CALLER: Wife.
GLENN: I really can't express in words how uniquely wonderful Cheryl -- I'm just writing it in -- Cheryl is. Honestly at first I thought I was just attracted to her... what? What were you attracted to? Honestly at first --
CALLER: Oh, her eyes.
STU: Wait, it's anything but eyes, Glenn. That's a specific rule.
GLENN: Anything but eyes.
CALLER: Oh, anything but eyes?
GLENN: Yeah.
CALLER: She's younger than me. I don't know.
GLENN: It sounds like just a wild love affair that you two had.
CALLER: Yeah.
STU: Her what, her youth, you say?
CALLER: Her youth.
GLENN: Her youth. Is this Billy Joel calling? But as time went on, it turned into so much more. I guess I knew it was true love the first time we... blank. What do you, first time you what?
CALLER: First time we kissed.
STU: Anything but kissed, Glenn. That's another rule. Come on, eyes and kissed? How boring are you?
CALLER: First time we went for a walk on the beach.
GLENN: Oh, jeez, for the love of Pete. What, are you talking to her about freshness? First time we talked -- first time we went for a walk.
CALLER: On the beach.
GLENN: When's the last time you went for a walk on the beach with your wife, huh?
CALLER: It's been a few years because I live in Oklahoma.
GLENN: And that trip to... where, was just wonderful? What trip did you guys take?
CALLER: You're putting me on the spot here. The trip to Arizona.
GLENN: The trip to Arizona. Boy, the photo albums that you two must have are just --
CALLER: Oh, they're wonderful.
GLENN: They are wonderful. You look through them sometimes once in a while, just to laugh, remember? I guess what sets her apart is the distinctive way she... what?
CALLER: Takes care of me.
GLENN: Stu.
STU: She does that in a distinctive way, Glenn.
GLENN: Is this -- this marriage is destined for divorce court. She takes care of me unlike any other woman in the... in the what?
STU: This is the county you live in? What county do you live in?
GLENN: I live in Oklahoma County.
STU: Oklahoma County there, Glenn.
GLENN: I could go on forever but that would take away from my time with her and I have to get back to work at... where are you working? Where are you working?
CALLER: I work at Tinker Air Force base, but I'm a federal employee. So I have the day off.
GLENN: Okay. Where I -- what do you do there?
CALLER: I'm a B-52 aircraft mechanic.
GLENN: From the hours of what? Like 9:00 to 5:00 Monday through Friday, what are your hours there?
CALLER: 6:45 to 3:30.
GLENN: Monday through Friday?
CALLER: Correct.
GLENN: Sometimes Saturday?
CALLER: Sometimes Saturday.
GLENN: That's why I was thinking, I think we should be Valentine's Day, for it's simple. I just love Cheryl.
CALLER: Correct.
GLENN: We're going to call Cheryl up here. We're going to take a break and then we're going to call her up.
CALLER: Okay.
GLENN: There's a specific way that you have to -- I'm going to ask you at the end and say, "Do you have anything else you want to say to Cheryl?" And Pete, you need to count to 5, it's a scientific thing, you need to count to 5 and then you'll say, yes. Cheryl? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... I love you.
STU: Don't say the numbers out loud, though. You have to just think the numbers.
GLENN: You can if you want to.
STU: That's not a good idea.
GLENN: By the way, if you blow the counting thing and it's under 5 seconds, I rat you out to Cheryl.
CALLER: I won't.
GLENN: You'll be living in that B-52 and dropped from 40,000 feet.
[Break]
Now we have Pete who wants to be our Valentine's couple of the year. Can we bring Pete up real quick? Hi, Pete. Pete, are you there?
CALLER: I'm here.
GLENN: We're calling Cheryl. Let's rehearse just the end of this, all right? First of all, you wrote a letter to me six months ago.
CALLER: Yes.
GLENN: You were in this contest. We called you a couple of weeks ago and then what happened? What happened, Pete?
CALLER: Well, I got sick, Glenn.
GLENN: No, no, no. I got sick.
CALLER: I got sick.
GLENN: You were going to, I was supposed to call you guys on Friday to let you know that I was sending you out to dinner and everything else.
CALLER: Right.
GLENN: And I told you not to tell Cheryl because we wanted to have you on the air and surprise her with it.
CALLER: Right.
GLENN: And I wasn't able to do it on Friday. You were sick on top of it, but Cheryl, I really did have a present for you. It was this contest. We're going out, you know, on the town.
Now, where do you want to go? Where are you going to pay to take her?
CALLER: I'm going to pay to take her to the Boulevard Steakhouse.
GLENN: Is that one of her favorite places?
CALLER: Oh, it's a wonderful place.
GLENN: No, that wasn't the question. Is that one of her favorite places?
CALLER: It will be.
STU: It's going to go well. It's going to go well.
GLENN: This is going to go really well.
STU: We have Cheryl now. She's not on hold but she can't hear this.
GLENN: Real quick, we're going to test the ending here with you. I'm going to say, is there anything else you want to say to her and you say..
CALLER: I love you so much.
STU: No, see, he's going to screw this up.
GLENN: If you screw this up, you'll rat you out. You'll say, "Yes, Glenn, there is. Cheryl..." and then you count to five, silently, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... "I love you."
STU: Just like that.
GLENN: Just like that. It's scientific. The longer you wait, keeps you choking up and everything else. So is there anything else you want to say to Cheryl? Pete, we're rehearsing. One more time.
CALLER: I love you.
GLENN: How did you make it to the altar?
CALLER: Waited five seconds like you told me.
GLENN: You need to say yes, Glenn. Cheryl?
CALLER: Yes, Glenn.
GLENN: Then you wait. You say, Cheryl?" And she's say, yes. So is there anything you want to say, Pete?
CALLER: Yes, Glenn. Cheryl?
GLENN: Now count to five.
CALLER: (Counting)
GLENN: "Yes?"
CALLER: I love you.
GLENN: Perfect. You got it?
CALLER: I got it.
GLENN: Go ahead and start the theme music and put her on hold so she can hear a little bit of that.
(Music)
GLENN: Coming up in just a minute.
VOICE: And now it's the contest in the making, it's Glenn Beck's quest to find the ultimate couple of love. The essays have been written, the heartfelt words have been read and the winner has been selected. So now to introduce the country's passionate pair, here's the love god himself, Glenn Beck.
GLENN: Oh, we've got a special one. We've got a special one this year. You know, if you listen to this program, you know that every year we pick a couple of the year and we spend about six months doing this contest where we ask guys to write in, and most of the guys have never done a contest like this before and it was supposed to happen on Friday but you know what happened on this program and I wasn't here to be able to do it on Friday. So we called Pete and asked him, and I hope, is Pete on the line? Pete, I hope you weren't in any trouble this weekend.
CALLER: Just a little bit.
GLENN: Just a little bit? Did you blow the surprise? Did you blow the surprise?
CALLER: No, I didn't blow the surprise.
GLENN: You kept it to yourself?
CALLER: I did.
GLENN: Do we have Cheryl on the phone?
CALLER: Yes.
GLENN: Hi, Cheryl, how are you?
CALLER: Fine, how are you?
GLENN: I'm very good. You're on the radio and we just wanted to call. And first of all, I have to apologize. First of all, say hello to your husband. Pete is on the phone.
CALLER: Hi, honey.
CALLER: Hi, sweetheart.
GLENN: Now Cheryl, I understand you didn't have a good Valentine's Day.
CALLER: Well, I've had better.
GLENN: You've had better?
CALLER: Yeah.
GLENN: Did you have any idea that Pete was working on something?
CALLER: No, I didn't.
GLENN: Good for you, Pete. Good for you. All right. Now here's what happened. Pete wrote me a letter about, how long ago, Pete, was it that you wrote in?
CALLER: Oh, six months.
GLENN: Okay. He wrote a letter, and we do this contest every year where, you know, Valentine's couple of the year, and he wrote a letter and we got this one really pretty early and I kept it off to the side, and I could tell that Pete's not the kind of guy that does these kinds of things, is he normally real romantic?
CALLER: No, no.
GLENN: Really?
CALLER: No.
GLENN: Well, it sure doesn't show in this letter, but..
CALLER: He has a lot of compassion but after a long time of marriage, we just, we don't see it very often.
GLENN: Really? Pretty dead?
CALLER: Yeah.
GLENN: Yeah, he's almost dead inside? Yeah.
CALLER: No, he's not that bad.
GLENN: Yeah, but almost. He's intensive care. Yeah, well, here it is. You know, Pete, I didn't catch that from you in this letter. Here's what he wrote, Cheryl. He said, dear Mr. Beck, I've never entered a contest like this before. However, I felt I had to tell you about my beautiful wife. I can't express in words how uniquely wonderful Cheryl truly is. Honestly at first I think I was just attracted to her youth but as time went by it turned into so much more. I guess I knew it was true love the first time we went for that walk on that beach and that trip to Arizona. Wow, what a perfect time that was.
You painted that, Pete, you really painted that. "I guess what sets her apart is the distinctive way she takes care of me, unlike any other woman in Oklahoma County. I could go on forever but that would take away from my time with her and I have to get back to my work. I work at Tinker Air Force base where I'm a mechanic on B 52s from 6:45 to 3:30 in the afternoon Monday through Friday and sometimes on Saturday. Besides, everyone always tries to make love so complex and that's why I think we should be your Valentine's couple of the year because for me it's simple. I just love Cheryl."
CALLER: That's beautiful.
GLENN: By the way Cheryl we're going to send you out to the Boulevard Steakhouse and you guys can have a nice dinner together.
CALLER: Thank you.
GLENN: You can remember, bring some of your photo albums and just look back at all of the good times you guys have had together.
CALLER: Thank you so much.
GLENN: Pete, do you have anything to say to Cheryl?
CALLER: Yes, Glenn. Cheryl?
CALLER: Yes.
CALLER: I love you.
CALLER: I love you, too.
GLENN: Another happy couple. Our couple of the year, Cheryl and Pete. Guys, have a good time. Thank you so much.
CALLER: Thank you, Glenn.
GLENN: All right, bye bye.
VOICE: Proof once and for all that true love really does exist. You've been listening to Glenn Beck as he honors amore and the incredibly rare loving men who go that extra mile to bring their soul mate the affection and attention they so richly deserve: Men who care enough to share their true feelings, men who always are the... are they gone yet?
GLENN: Are they off?
VOICE: God, I thought I was going to puke there for a minute.
STU: Perfect. There was a perfect execution, Glenn.
GLENN: It really was. He was very good at it. I feel a little dirty.
STU: You always do after this show.
GLENN: I just feel just a little dirty from that.