Glenn Beck: We the Chimps


Glenn Beck is seen here on the Insider Webcam, an exclusive feature available only to Glenn Beck Insiders. Learn more...

GLENN: Hey, you know what's really, you know what's really great? Did you hear -- this is so good. Did you hear about H. R. 80 that was passed yesterday by the house?

STU: Actually I don't know if -- I don't know why you didn't come by, but we did have that H.R. 80 party yesterday.

GLENN: Yeah, we were so excited about H.R. 80. A lot of people don't know what H.R. 80 is, but the science is settled on the people that don't know about H.R. 80.

STU: Can you imagine living your life not having knowledge about H.R. 80?

GLENN: No, uh-uh. That, of course -- let me talk down to you -- is the Captive Primate Safety Act. H.R. 80, of course, is our government hard at work for you.

Stu, let's just call the conversation that we had about 7:00 this morning when you were sitting in my office and the sun was starting to rise over the beautiful Chrysler building and the eagles on the sides of that building were being struck by the sunlight and the ribbons that are going down the front of the Empire State building were just being kissed by the sunlight in the morning and it was just a beautiful rosy red sky this morning and I said to you, Stu, they just passed the chimp act in the House of Representatives. And you said, "Oh. So now you can't have any monkeys at your house?" And I said yes. Look at that beautiful sky. Breathtaking.

STU: It was, wasn't it.

GLENN: And I said, Stu, why would you say that they passed that?

STU: Is it because chimps might be tearing the face off of people?

GLENN: That was a good idea. The chimps might be tearing the face off of people. That's a good reason to pass H.R. 80, sure, okay.

STU: Could it be that they're worried that chimps being pets may lead to more cartoons that are offensive?

GLENN: That's a possibility.

STU: Could be that.

GLENN: Stu said to me because of the chimp thing, and I said, okay, now be your cynical self, your most cynical self. What was the answer? Do you remember your answer? Or were you too busy looking at the glistening of the sunlight?

STU: I was too stunned by the beauty of the ribbons.

GLENN: It's morning in America. Whew, it's going to be a very bad day if this is morning in America. Here it is. I said to Stu, what is your most cynical way to look at this? And you say -- and he said it was just because it was on TV.

STU: In the news, everyone was talking about chimps for some reason, let's make a law about it.

GLENN: So it wasn't even about saving people having their face ripped off. It was because, look at us, we're involved in doing something, we're helping people. I said, even you are not cynical enough. Listen to the name of H.R. 80 again: The captive primitive safety act. I'm sorry, primate. I don't have my glasses on. Captive Primate Safety Act. This was a bill introduced in congress by the humane society to make sure the chimps, like the one that ripped the face off of a human being, would never be held captive in a cage at a home because that's cruel and unusual punishment. They weren't doing your bidding. When you thought you were being cynical and thought to yourself these people are just trying to get their name in the paper, they're just trying to look good like they're just helping people out, they're wasting time banning monkeys in our country. Oh, yeah, I don't know about you but, boy, do we have -- my neighborhood is just riddled with chimpanzees. It's crazy with chimpanzees. Everybody's got a chimpanzee ready to rip your face off. How is this possible? When you are cynical and you think they're wasting your money on a chimpanzee problem, then you realize, "No, you're not cynical enough." This was to protect not you but the chimpanzees! I can't --

STU: Is this not --

GLENN: I can't take it.

STU: -- essentially like they pass a law saying that you can't create an engine that sucks birds into it? Because it's not protecting the people.

GLENN: Yes.

STU: It's protecting the birds.

GLENN: Yes, yes. This would be like them saying there's a new "You can't land planes on rivers anymore. We're going to have a new superjet engine that we're designing right now so that won't happen again." When you find out that it wasn't about the people that landed in the river and it wasn't about a jet. It was about to make sure that there's no jets in the sky because they might hurt the poor little birds. Who the hell is running this country? Oh, no, I'm cynical enough to answer that question. I know exactly who's running this country. Crazy people.

 

Fox News senior meteorologist Janice Dean is perhaps even more disgusted with New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) for his coronavirus response than BlazeTV's Stu Burguiere (read what Stu has to say on the subject here), and for a good reason.

She lost both of her in-laws to COVID-19 in New York's nursing homes after Gov. Cuomo's infamous nursing home mandate, which Cuomo has since had scrubbed from the state's website and blamed everyone from the New York Post to nursing care workers to (every leftist's favorite scapegoat) President Donald Trump.

Janice joined Glenn and Stu on the "Glenn Beck Radio Program" Tuesday to ask why mainstream media is not holding Gov. Cuomo — who recently published a book about his leadership during the COVID-19 pandemic — accountable?

"I'm vocal because I have not seen the mainstream media ask these questions or demand accountability of their leaders. [Cuomo] really has been ruling with an iron fist, and every time he does get asked a question, he blames everybody else except the person that signed that order," Janice said.

"In my mind, he's profiting off the over 30 thousand New Yorkers, including my in-laws, that died by publishing a book on 'leadership' of New York," she added. "His order has helped kill thousands of relatives of New York state. And this is not political, Glenn. This is not about Republican or Democrat. My in-laws were registered Democrats. This is not about politics. This is about accountability for something that went wrong, and it's because of your [Cuomo's] leadership that we're put into this situation."

Watch the video excerpt from the show below:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

As America grows divided and afraid to disagree with the Democrats' woke plan for America, Megyn Kelly is ready to fight back for the truth. For nearly two decades, she navigated the volatile and broken world of the media. But as America leans on independent voices more than ever, she's breaking new ground with "The Megyn Kelly Show."

She joined the latest Glenn Beck Podcast to break down what's coming next after the election: Black Lives Matter is mainstream, leftists are making lists of Trump supporters, and the Hunter Biden scandal is on the back burner.

Megyn and Glenn reminisce about their cable news days (including her infamous run-in with then-presidential candidate Donald Trump) and to look into the chaotic and shady world of journalism and the growing entitlement it's bred. For example, many conservatives have been shocked by how Fox News handled the election.

Megyn defended Fox News, saying she believes Fox News' mission "is a good one," but also didn't hold back on hosts like Neil Cavuto, who cut off a White House briefing to fact check it — something she never would have done, even while covering President Obama.

Megyn also shared this insightful takeaway from her time at NBC: "Jane Fonda was an ass."

Watch the full podcast here:

Want to listen to more Glenn Beck podcasts?

Subscribe to Glenn Beck's channel on YouTube for FREE access to more of his masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, or subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Glenn Beck has had enough of exposing scandal after scandal, just to have everyone look the other way: Benghazi, Hillary Clinton's emails, Joe and Hunter Biden's dealings in Ukraine and China … the list goes on, but no consequences are paid. Now, the media have called the election for Joe Biden and insist no one can question it. But for many of the more than 71 million people who voted for President Trump, our search for the truth isn't over yet.

On his Wednesday night special this week, Glenn called out the left's long list of alleged corruption that has gone unchecked and stressed that Donald Trump's legal team must be allowed to go through the process of investigating the multiple allegations of election fraud to ensure our voting systems are fair.

"I don't know about you, but I'm tired. I am worn out. I am fed up!" Glenn said during his opening monologue. "I've had enough. I am tired of exposing corruption, doing our homework, even going overseas and having documents translated to make sure they're exactly right, [and] presenting the evidence ... except, once we expose it, nothing happens. Nobody goes to jail. Nobody pays for a damn thing any more!"

Watch the short video clip from the full show below:


Because the content of this show is sure to set off the Big Tech censors, the full episode is only be available on BlazeTV. The election and its aftermath are the most important stories in America, so we're offering our most timely discount ever: $30 off a one-year subscription to BlazeTV with code "GLENN."

While the mainstream media has called the election for Joe Biden, Glenn gives a rallying cry to conservatives. Many of the over 71 million people who voted for President Trump are split between frustration and an urge to do something. The multiple allegations of election fraud are largely out of our hands, and Donald Trump's legal team must be allowed to go through the process to ensure our voting systems are fair.

But that doesn't mean we have to sit on our hands. There is an urgent need to focus on the ongoing Senate races. Glenn has warned us of the Left's radical plans should they sweep this election, and the wolves are already descending on Georgia.

On his Wednesday night special, Glenn reveals the desperate measures they're taking to win two Georgia runoff races in January and claim the Senate. Senator Mike Lee joins to warn what will happen to the country if Chuck Schumer becomes Senate majority leader and why we must have a transparent process so that Americans can trust the final count.

Later, Glenn reveals a new project for Americans who are not ready to roll over and let the Marxists win the battle for our country.

Watch a video clip from tonight's show below:

WATCH the full special on BlazeTV. The election and its aftermath are the most important stories in America. That's why we're offering our most timely discount ever: $30 off a one-year subscription to BlazeTV with code "GLENN." With BlazeTV, you get the unvarnished truth from the most pro-America network in the country, free from Big Tech and MSM censors.