|Glenn Beck is seen here on the Insider Webcam, an exclusive feature available only to Glenn Beck Insiders. Learn more...|
GLENN: There are many things that I believe that I shall never say but I will never say those things that I do not believe.
STU: For instance, when you are going up to a stop global warming --
GLENN: By the way, first of all, when we get into this, we're live from New York and it is just a different world here, god bless you. These people are going to be so surprised. They are going to be like, "What happened?" Welcome to the program. If you are a new listener of ours in New York City, thank you so much for tuning us in. WOR is just a -- I mean, it really is truly an honor to be on the 710 frequency which Orson Welles, my company is named Mercury and it's named after Orson Welles' company and this is the frequency that Orson Welles did the shadow and everything else and it is really truly an honor for me to be anywhere on this station and here we come out of the legendary John Gambling in the morning and our first month on the air, and I don't know if this has been done. ABC, WABC has been, you know, the big talk station in forever. Our first ratings period we are beating WABC in this time period in the demo by 77% which is ironic. And what is -- like 96%? It's ridiculous.
STU: A lot.
GLENN: It's ridiculous. And we were -- when we first started we were like, I don't know if anybody's going to listen to our show in New York City. But it is -- you know it's weird is I am now being approached in New York City unlike ever before and people are no longer being quiet about it. They used to be like, "Hey, Glenn, keep it up." (Whispering.) Now people are walking down the street. Have you walked down the street in New York City lately?
STU: Try not to.
GLENN: Walking down the street with me lately is weird because people will see me and they are not being shy anymore. They will walk down and, Stu, they will be as far as you and I are now, maybe a little farther and they will -- you know, that's what, 8 feet, 10 feet, maybe a little farther and they will go, "You keep it up, Beck, you keep it up."
GLENN: And it is -- it's amazing the difference, and it goes to what Stu was saying about the global warming guy that I saw on the street. I am not -- I'm done. You know, I might be a loudmouth, you know, on air and say everything.
STU: You might might be. Wow, the jury's out on that one, Glenn.
GLENN: I know, I know, do some -- we'll ask Harvard to do a study on that and see if that's true. But I'm actually in person a very socially awkward kind of shy, quiet kind of guy, wouldn't you say?
STU: Yeah. Again something no one would possibly see.
GLENN: No, seriously.
STU: Quietness I think people would not suspect. Awkward they would suspect.
GLENN: Okay, good, all right. But is that accurate? Awkward and quiet?
STU: Yeah, you'd rather sit back and not be the guy at a party.
GLENN: Yeah, I just -- and so I've always been, you know, walk down the street, I don't like to say anything, you know, people or whatever. There's this lady that is on the same corner every day and it's this place that I have pictures of somebody taking, stealing, collecting the money and stealing it from this organization. I have pictures, and I show it to her on my cellphone. See that? That's one of your people stealing the money. So no, I'm not going to give to the homeless today. And I walk by this lady every day and she has the same pitch every day: Doesn't anybody have it in their heart to give to the homeless? That's exactly the way she says it, every day screaming it: Doesn't anybody have it in their heart to give to the homeless (screaming). Last week I said, "Nope. My heart was surgically removed through my wallet by the government. Sorry."
GLENN: Now I just walk by her every day and I look at her and I say, "Nope." "Anybody?" "Nope." Adam, who's a little bit more militant than I am, he started just to say, "Screw the homeless," which I think is a little harsh.
STU: Yeah, because it's not -- has nothing to do with actually meaning it. It just has to do with like just being so sick of people who are, A, stealing.
STU: And B, just coming out and attacking you, assuming --
GLENN: Don't you have the heart. No, no, I don't have the heart. Nobody has the heart.
GLENN: No, uh-uh. But then I am starting to be a little more militant because I think that it is time for the average person who has sat on our asses this whole time and didn't say anything, we don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, we're tired of being called a hate monger, we're tired of this, it's tired for you to get off your butt and say something because our country is being taken from us. And so it's time for the silent majority to stand up and no longer be silent.
So I was just in a typical weekday mood and I'm walking down the street and minding my own business and I see this putz in a "Stop global warming" jacket and I'm like, stop global warming? Why do you need a jacket!
GLENN: So I see him in this "Stop global warming." He's got a clipboard and he's like, "Does anybody want to sign the petition today to stop global warming? Does anybody want to stop global warming? Who wants to stop global warming? Will you sign our petition?" And he looks at me. "Excuse me, sir, do you want to..." and I just interrupted him. "Back off, jack, you don't want to ask me to sign your petition." And he just, "Yes, sir." Moved out of my way.
STU: Just some guy trying to get signatures.
GLENN: He's just some 20-something useful idiot.
STU: Well, actually if we could -- Dan, if you could maybe schedule as a guest maybe, you know, a climatologist or something to explain because I know it's true that the action of -- the chemical reaction of pen and paper actually decreases global warming.
GLENN: Wait a minute. Hang on just a sec. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
STU: Just signing. You'll sign it away.
GLENN: What paper? You didn't take that out of a tree, did you?
STU: Oh, no, no.
GLENN: I was on Red Eye last night.
STU: Oh, really, were you?
GLENN: Funny, funny writing on that show. The guys are really funny. Runs like at 3:00 a.m. in the morning.
STU: Right. I think it's designed like a midnight West Coast sort of.
GLENN: And they film it in the basement. I mean, it is just like, "What Red Eye show? We don't have a Red Eye show. What are you talking about?" Because it is, it's a rocket show. It's on Fox, by the way, Fox News Channel. So I was on it last night and they were talking about the global warming thing now where they are saying that the soft toilet paper shouldn't be used. The soft toilet paper shouldn't be used because the way you get it softer is to use more of tree and more yada, yada, yada. So the worse the toilet paper feels on your skin, the better it is for the environment. And they're trying to now shame Charmin and everything else. And I remembered in the middle of this that Tania had a good friend that she worked with and she was really great but she had hair under her armpits. She was one of those people. You know, she made her own soap and she would get into a VW van with her husband and they were sweet. They were really nice, but they were hippies. And I remember talking to her one time and she explained that they don't use toilet paper. And all I could think of is dear God, I just shook her hand. And she said, we don't use toilet paper at my house because it's bad for the environment, blah, blah, blah. We use washcloths. And I thought to myself, safety tip? Don't think I need to write it down but in case I get like 24 hour Alzheimer's that I need to stay at her house, just let me write down, don't ever wash your face at her house. Who is using washcloths? And homemade soap? Shave your armpits. Get a clue! The day I have to use a washcloth to wipe my butt is the day I take hemp rope and hang myself from the environmentally friendly tree because I haven't made paper out of it yet.