GLENN: Here's a strange story. Senator Cardin introduces a bill that would allow American newspapers to operate as a nonprofit organization. U.S. senator from Maryland Benjamin Cardin introduced legislation today that would allow newspapers to become nonprofit organizations in an effort to help the faltering industry survive. The Newspaper Revitalization Act, it's weird. I saw a newspaper and I thought -- let me tell you what I just read in my head. The Steam Engine Revitalization Act. But it doesn't say steam engine. It says newspaper. Anyway, would allow newspapers to operate as nonprofits if they choose under a 501(c)(3) status for educational purposes, similar to public broadcasting. Under this arrangement newspapers would not be allowed to make any political contributions but they would be allowed to freely report on all issues including political campaigns, advertising and subscription revenue would be tax-exempt. And contributions to support coverage or operations could be tax deductible. This is fantastic. I bet -- you know what? Clear Channel is in trouble. CBS and ABC are in trouble. I bet this is right around the corner for Clear Channel. Don't you think, Stu? We can be -- talk radio could be used as educational purposes.
STU: Oh, absolutely.
GLENN: Sure.
STU: We're providing unbiased information.
GLENN: We wouldn't necessarily be able to, what was it, endorse a politician.
STU: No.
GLENN: But we could report on all of the issues.
STU: Right, exactly.
GLENN: We could put our opinions in freely.
STU: Real quick, I don't know if anyone's noticed that newspapers actually do endorse candidates. I can't remember the last time you endorsed a candidate. You've said who you voted for.
GLENN: I said who I voted for but I never endorsed anybody.
STU: It has nothing to do that people wouldn't care. Nothing to do with that.
GLENN: No.
STU: No.
GLENN: It wouldn't have anything to do with me saying this is who I voted for, but you're a dope, you're dumb as a box of rocks if you just take my... "Glenn Beck voted for this guy."
STU: But the journalists can put together a product which tells you which way you should vote in a particular race.
GLENN: Well, because they are smarter than you are.
STU: Right.
GLENN: They are smarter than you are.
STU: I always forget.
GLENN: I know, because you are not smart enough, dummy.
STU: I know. Look how they are running their business! You can tell they are smart because of the success of their business.
GLENN: You are exactly right. And you know why this is not going to be a problem if they, you know, have no taxes? You know, if they are a nonprofit organization?
STU: No.
GLENN: You don't know?
STU: I don't know.
GLENN: Oh, this is great. The measure is targeted to preserve local newspapers serving communities and not large newspaper conglomerates.
STU: Oh, good.
GLENN: All right? New York Times serving the community.
STU: Right.
GLENN: Because newspaper profits have been falling in recent years.
STU: What?
GLENN: No substantial loss of federal revenue is expected. Because they're not making any money.
STU: Oh. Thank God.
GLENN: "While we have lots of news sources, we rely on newspapers for in-depth reporting that follows important issues, records events, exposes misdeeds." Oh, yeah, they're exposing misdeeds, aren't they?
STU: But Glenn, how long does it take you to read a newspaper?
GLENN: Hmmm? I don't read one.
STU: Just say if you were to read a newspaper from front to back, I mean, how long would it take? An hour? Probably less than three hours, huh?
GLENN: Yeah.
STU: Because we're on for three hours. So we have the opportunity to do three times the depth. So I would assume we're --
GLENN: No. We just, that's all we do.
STU: Jeez, all these things I keep forgetting.
GLENN: I used to read five newspapers a day. I used to read five newspapers a day. Do you remember coming into Radio City every day and you'd see me and I'd be there? I had been there for hours and one of the researchers was there. They also were there and I'd mark them all up? Remember? I'd come in every Monday and I had gathered all of the stories and cut them out from Saturday and Sunday all the newspapers?
STU: I remember you'd always have ink all over your fingers.
GLENN: Yeah, yeah. I actually have surgical gloves at home, a box of surgical gloves because I read so many newspapers, my hands would just be completely black, you know, and the kids would come over or something and I want to hug them or something. So I'd take off the surgical gloves because my hands would be full of ink. Not kidding you. Not kidding you. I don't do that anymore. I found this thing called the Internet.
STU: Okay, all right.
GLENN: Okay? What I can do is I can go and find the stories.
STU: What do you mean find them?
GLENN: You just go on and you just go to these different websites like FoxNews.com or whatever.
STU: Okay.
GLENN: And you can go and you can find the stories and then you can also --
STU: Fox News mails you the paper with the stories on it?
GLENN: No, no, they don't mail it. You cut and paste the link and then I send it to myself at Radio City and then I just click on it and there's the story.
STU: And then you print it out as a news story?
GLENN: No, you don't print it out.
STU: Okay.
GLENN: It's amazing. It's amazing.
STU: This is a computer?
GLENN: Look, I don't even know if this technology is stable. So I don't want to get into it right now.
STU: Do you cut the screen with the scissors?
GLENN: Just look for things in the future. It will be an -- I predict it will be in some of the wealthier homes in America within the next 50 years. It's called the --
STU: That soon?
GLENN: Intranet.
STU: Wow.
GLENN: But only the creme de la creme. It's like but in 100, maybe 150 years, you could be able to get that information, download it right onto your phone.
STU: What are the environmental impacts of this device, this device you are speaking of?
GLENN: Well, that's where it kind of gets dicey. You are not killing trees.
STU: Oh.
GLENN: Yeah, you are not killing any trees. And you're not -- see, here's where the environmentalists, you know, they really, they're pushing for this intranet and this is why I'm really pushing for the newspapers to be saved. Because the newspapers are the ones really, have been really leading the charge on this global warming thing. I used to read in the paper all the time, "Hey, global warming, global warming, it's real, it's real, we've got to do our part, we've got to stop all this nonsense." And it was funny because I would read it and I would think I'm reading this on what used to be a tree. And then they took this poison ink and they put it on the newspaper. You know, that's not good for the environment. And then they took it and they tied it up in a plastic bag and then they bound them in these big heavy zip, you know, strip things and then they put them on a wood crate, also made from a tree. And then they would take a forklift, which runs on fuel, and they would put that big stack of newspapers onto the back of what was then called a truck that also was burning fossil fuels. And then they drive that truck all around the city and they would drop these newspapers off. Some of them would be read, some of them wouldn't. But all of that plastic, all of that plastic, all those dead trees, boom, garbage. Garbage. Some people would recycle in those olden days. Others wouldn't recycle. So some of it was lost, some of it wasn't. But the trash, the fuel used, the burning of resources, it really kind of warmed my heart every time that I saw that because I'd see the hypocrisy of someone in the newspaper business telling us that we've got to do our part and have a fluorescent light bulb. While they were printing stuff on dead trees and shipping it around in giant trucks. It was hysterical and I loved that, but the intranet that I believe will be a part of our future -- I'm going out on a limb here. Again I don't -- I'm not a futurist but I believe the intranet --&n bsp;Stu, could you look that up? I-N-T-R-A-N-E-T.
STU: Intranet?
GLENN: Intranet. I'm just saying.
STU: You are going to have to be a little more particular. There's 18 million --
GLENN: Try information superhighway.
STU: Information -- is that three words or two?
GLENN: Information is one word. Superhighway would be two. It would be three words. It may only be one word. Do you have anything?
STU: Yeah. Just -- well, you have to be more specific. There's 16.3 million things.
GLENN: I can't narrow it down.
STU: Should I put tree in there? Would that --
GLENN: No, I don't --
STU: Hang on. I'll just put information superhighway tree. Now we're down to 522,000. This is working. Ink, should I put ink in there?
GLENN: No, you know what? Stop that search. Put information superhighway, the death of newspapers.
STU: Death of newspapers.
GLENN: Newspapers may be interchangeable with the steam engine.
STU: Do you want -- should that be in the search, too?
GLENN: Steam engine? Sure. See if we can get any --
STU: Now we're down to 4400.
GLENN: 4400? Okay. Well, we'll try to narrow it down from those 4400 choices.
STU: But where do I get my news that's like two days old?
GLENN: The newspaper. They will be there.
STU: They will be there for me still if I want to hear something that happened?
GLENN: Absolutely they will be there. Nonprofit. They have got to do something. We just can't let these bastions of information, we just can't -- you know, Stu -- Stu, it's like when you think of America, think of colonial America, okay?
STU: I'm thinking of colonial America.
GLENN: You are thinking colonial America?
STU: Uh-huh.
GLENN: I mean, you are thinking of the patriots, right?
STU: Yeah, yeah.
GLENN: You are thinking of George Washington, you are thinking of Benjamin Franklin, you are thinking of all these great people. We didn't just let the tricorner hat go.
STU: No.
GLENN: Of course not. We propped those businesses up. Everybody's like, I don't want a hat with three corners.
STU: Right. Everyone's like, wait a minute, why do I want a hat with three corners, why all of a sudden is it being turned into a charity? We're like, well, it's a three-cornered hat.
GLENN: Hello, it's a three-corner hat. The tricorner hat is a symbol of America. You think George Washington, you know, was just wearing -- he could have worn any hat. He wore that one. Those don't go out of style. And if they go out of business, we would probe --
STU: Right. And it's like right now you can buy a powdered wig without any tax ramifications because it's a charity.
GLENN: It's a charity. You know, we need the tricorner hat and we need the powdered wig. We need them. We need them. I was just saying this to my wife just the other night as we were sitting in our cave.
(Legalzoom.com)
VOICE: Today in the New York Times, President Barack Obama is off and running. We answer the question America most wants to know in an exclusive one-on-one interview: What brand shoe does the president prefer. Plus, Michelle dishes on her favorite appetizers. It's all today in the Times.
GLENN: No, seriously I think we should -- I mean, a lot of these guys wouldn't become a nonprofit because that's the kind of stuff that Americans need to know, you know?
VOICE: Also today in the New York Times, is Chuck Schumer really a superhero. Plus, the best wines for over $700 a bottle. The stories you need today in the Times.
GLENN: See, some people would say they're slanted or they're snobby but I just don't see that from --
VOICE: In today's edition of the New York Times, it's the one thing America doesn't want the terrorists to know, the location or movement of our troops in Iraq or Afghanistan. We've got them all on Page A-2 just beneath the title Betrayal and Adventure today in the Times.
GLENN: See, I think they are providing a service that you just can't get elsewhere.
VOICE: Today in the Times, another day, another debate settled. Global warming, caused by man. Case closed. Pick up a copy of the Times today.
GLENN: What? Case closed.
VOICE: Today in the Times. Debate's over. Israel is wrong. Pick up a copy of the Times today.
GLENN: (Laughing)
