STU: Where's the hate mail? This is nice mail. "Glenn, your skin appears so soft."
GLENN: Let me look here. Try this. I do have one of those. I have this: Glenn, I'm worried about that white spot that I see on your lower lip. I have recently had a similar spot removed and it was precancerous. Don't give me any lip. Have the spot removed, Peter, Georgia. That's a scar actually.
STU: It is?
GLENN: Yeah. I've always thought at least he thought it was like a cancerous growth. I always thought it looked like foam.
GLENN: You don't see it? You've never seen it on TV? Like can you see the light?
STU: Oh, yeah, I don't is that what he's talking about? He's talking about the little like bump thing there?
GLENN: Yeah. That's a scar.
STU: Yeah. It doesn't look like foam.
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GLENN: It does when you're watching on TV. You watch it on TV and you're like, what's that white thing on his mouth? Is he foaming at the mouth?
STU: It would fit the program.
GLENN: It would fit the profile.
STU: It really would.
GLENN: So no, it's just a scar, and I apologize for it. I actually ask them to cover it every day with makeup.
STU: I'm so sorry I'm scarred. Thanks a lot, listeners.
GLENN: You want to know how that scar happened!
Dear Mr. Beck, I work at an old folks home. Oh, that's very PC of you. And we changed from Fox to MSNBC and the elderly are a lot happier now. They used to walk around and talk to your imaginary propaganda and were all frightened. Give up on the BS. You should be ashamed of yourself. Rob.
STU: How are our numbers? Because I know we're targeting old folks homes.
GLENN: Old folks homes? I'm targeting old folks homes and children.
GLENN: We're way up at day care centers.
GLENN: Yeah. Have you noticed well, you don't have kids. If you ever pick your kid up from a day care center and they're crying, they're watching my show.
STU: You're welcome.
GLENN: You're welcome. "Daddy, I'm so afraid." "Are you watching Glenn Beck again!"
Nancy Edwards writes in: I am a seasoned, licensed therapist with over 30 years of practice. You think this one's going to go well?
GLENN: I have never before encountered a more dangerous or disturbed person in public position.
STU: In 30 years?
GLENN: 30 years.
STU: That's a long time to be in practice and not find someone as disturbing.
GLENN: I would place Glenn Beck right alongside Dick Cheney. Well, now, he must be behind me because you just said in 30 years, you haven't seen a more disturbed or dangerous person.
STU: Well, no, he said he had never seen one that's more. So you could be tied with Dick Cheney.
GLENN: Tied with Dick Cheney, I'll take that tie. Dick, which a do you say we go fishing? Not hunting but fishing. The difference being that Beck has daily opportunities to brainwash and incite unsuspecting people who watch Fox. Now they're victims of the show. If you are watching Fox, you're a victim. (Sobbing). I can't get clean! Beck has a clear disorder, narcissistic personality disorder. That sounds kind of nice. I bet if I had that, I'd have it the best of anybody else.
STU: What is it? Narcissistic?
GLENN: Personality disorder, look that up. He has the extreme version of this lifelong so you've got to look at what's extreme narcissistic personality disorder. Do you have it?
STU: Yeah, let's see. A narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD...
GLENN: I've got NPD! It's leaving scars on my lip!
STU: It's defined as a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration and lack of empathy. You, you, you
GLENN: Does that sound
STU: You. (Laughing).
GLENN: Wait, wait, wait. Do them again and let's be honest. Be honest.
STU: A pervasive pattern of grandiosity. All right, let me look up grandiosity. I need the exact definition. I mean, I get the idea, but grandiosity.
GLENN: I am pretty huge but usually only when I try on my clothing or I look in a mirror.
STU: Let's see. High flown style, excessive use of verbal ornamentation, the state of being grandiose, pompous or pretentious, impressive because of unnecessary largeness. There you go.
GLENN: That's me all over!
STU: That is exactly you.
GLENN: That's me.
STU: That is on the tombstone.
GLENN: Me and Dom Deluise.
STU: That really is a tomb that is the tombstone carving.
GLENN: It is, yes.
STU: Wow. He was best known for his unnecessary largeness. (Laughing).
GLENN: That's why he had to buy two plots.
STU: Okay. So that one we can obviously agree is true. Need for admiration. Everyone hates your guts.
GLENN: You think I'd be doing would I be a conservative if I needed people to admire me?
STU: I would say conservatives are completely out of the category of narcissistic personality disorder because everyone always hates you.
GLENN: That's exactly right. Stu, how many times, how many times have you heard me, how many times have you tried to stop me from doing things that you said, Glenn, everyone will hate you; no, please, I'd like to have a job!
STU: Yes. I would like to be able to list the last ten years on my resume after I leave. Understanding let's see. And then empathy, of course, understanding and entering into another's feelings, empathy is the capacity to recognize or understand another state of mind or emotion. So I mean, that one clearly you hate everyone because you, you know, want poor people to starve and you want
GLENN: I think I'm very empathetic.
STU: For yourself, yes.
GLENN: Oh, shut up. What do you know, you ooh, I got problems. Shut up; you should hear mine.
Okay, anyway. Beck has a clear disorder, narcissistic personality disorder. His extreme version of this lifelong condition, his hysterical mannerisms and gesticulations are abhorrent and disturbing only because he has access to ordinary people.
STU: So in other words, it wouldn't be disturbing if you were locked up, yes.
GLENN: If they locked me in solitary confinement, she would be fine with me.
STU: Right. As long as you were at the end of the Green Mile, no one would care.
GLENN: He never belonged on CNN... I don't think we
STU: We were on CNN Headline News, HLN, right before it was HLN.
GLENN: Let's just leave it. He doesn't belong on any national air wave. You may be right about that.
STU: That's a good call.
GLENN: That's a good call.
STU: That's not your fault.
GLENN: She's got 30 years experience. What are you going to do? It's like somebody comes to you with 100 bucks and says, here, take this? What are you going to say, no? Not my fault.
STU: Some guy gets in the major leagues and he's terrible and you say, that guy doesn't belong in the major leagues. It's not his fault he's in the major leagues.
GLENN: Especially if he turns around and goes, I know, crime?
STU: I don't get it, either.
GLENN: Then you kind of sit back in your seat and you're like, I kind of like that dude. (Laughing). I am no fan of Hannity no or Bill O'Reilly no.
GLENN: But at least they're measured in their behavior. Honey, let me tell you something. If you don't think I measure out, you're out of your mind. You should see me on
STU: You should see him in the cell.
GLENN: You should see me when I'm just me all by myself and nobody's watching. Of course, then again that may that actually may I mean, you're an unsuspecting person. That may scar you for life, a little like my lip, which you brought up earlier!
This man is a disaster. I'm not coming from a leftwing position in saying this, either.
STU: No. You just happen to hate Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck. But I'm totally on the right! I'm so far right! You can even imagine it.
GLENN: If he held leftwing positions, I would be equally appalled that he commands the airwaves.
Did you hear that? She thinks I'm a commander. Ooh, I think I am, too.
STU: Well, you're narcissistic.
GLENN: I say this in all seriousness: He is the Jerry Springer of cable news. Wow. Really?
STU: Jerry Springer is a television personality. If you wanted to be the Jerry Springer of cable news, he would be the Jerry Springer of cable news.
GLENN: I don't think I've brought any people on to fight, although I'm not necessarily opposed to it.
STU: You did have you got in a fight with the ACORN guy.
GLENN: But I am far more dangerous than Jerry Springer. I didn't know Jerry Springer was dangerous.
STU: Seems like he's just trying to entertain the people.
GLENN: Anyway are you saying I'm an entertainer?
STU: I am.
GLENN: He is far more dangerous than Jerry Springer because the general public is fully unaware of his disorder (laughing).
STU: (Laughing). You've got to love the fact that this woman, who sure, she just obviously hates conservatives but she
GLENN: No, she loves them she says.
STU: Oh, yeah, forgot. But she seems to be legitimately concerned.
GLENN: I love that. I love that. You're unaware. You know what? I've got to read this on TV: Well, America, you are no longer unaware of my disorder. Thanks, Nancy, for helping all those people out. All those people will just be like, "Oh, my gosh. Oh, thank goodness for Nancy Edwards."
STU: This whole time he's been showing me a pervasive pattern of grandiosity and need for admiration and a lack of empathy. Now I understand.
GLENN: Signed Nancy L. Edwards, LICSW, MPH.
STU: No, I think that is a very good idea to read that on television because I think maybe we need to start coming up with a diagnosis sort of card for you. We're like, when you come on at certain points when you are doing these things, a new diagnosis pops up because we always get these. There's always somebody out there that's diagnosing why people are watching you. It's always some medical
GLENN: Well, I'm a crazy man with cancer of the lip!
STU: Yes. It's always a medical condition. It's never because people might agree or think or disagree so much that they think you're funny or something.
STU: Never, never anything other than there must be a mass case
GLENN: Have you ever noticed? I mean, I'm not saying that our show is Jon Stewart, that it's not a laugh riot, but it's a humorous show.
STU: Right. I feel
GLENN: Have you ever noticed you've never heard anyone
STU: There was someone the other day who did that, who pointed that out.
GLENN: Were they locked up in an institution with a severe mental disorder?
STU: Well, actually it was in the subway and they were talking to a stuffed doll, but they did point it out and I thought it was helpful.
GLENN: Oh, I think I just wet myself. All right, let me tell you about
STU: Is that a separate, were you talking as a homeless person there or were you talking about yourself? I just want to make sure I understand.