VOICE: The Glenn Beck program presents more truth behind America's March to Socialism.
GLENN: Got this fancy new website, apparently can't do it. We're keeping a close eye on the stimulus.
VOICE: News look, microscope laser focused, alert, investigative watch, lots of Googling, Glenn Beck's eye on the stimulus 2009.
GLENN: Yes, that's right. The website that President Obama, you know, Mr. Hip, Mr. "Down with the kids," Mr. "Using the Internet thingamajig" to raise bajillions of dollars, the thing that he set up to track the stimulus isn't really working real well. The site I can't remember the name. Hang on. Let me Joe Biden, what's the name of this thing?
VOICE: By the way, do you know the website?
BIDEN: You know, I'm embarrassed. Do you know the website number? You know, I should it in front of me and I don't.
VOICE: All right.
BIDEN: I'm actually embarrassed.
VOICE: I'm going to call your office directly, too, and get it later.
BIDEN: It is recovery.gov, recovery.gov.
VOICE: Is that up and running already?
BIDEN: That's up and running.
VOICE: All right.
GLENN: Yeah. Recovery.gov. Fabulous website. He's embarrassed because he couldn't remember the name. I would have been embarrassed because he said what's the number, but that's just me. I went there today, for example, and I learned that Americans are getting you are getting a really big slice of the stimulus pie in the form of tax credits. They also had a really nice pie chart and everything. It was dazzling. Plus I learned that Americans will be reaping the benefits of the stimulus package to the tune of $400 per person. I know. I know, I'm thinking it, too. Goodbye, recession; let the good times roll because we're almost there! But it couldn't all be good news, could it? Apparently despite the fancy pie charts on recovery.gov, it's not working. Now some of the stimulus money will go toward a complete redesign of recovery.gov. Thankfully with all of President Obama's connections that he made during his fancy, you know, high tech Internet campaign thingamajig, he was able to work out a really good deal. It's only going to cost you, the American taxpayer, $18 million to revamp the site. $18 million to redesign an existing website. Now, I'm not a website developer but I can create a website from my Mac, and I know I'm just being cynical again. I'm just an Obama hater. That's what it is. It must be his race or something. I'm not sure. I'll try to look for the positive angle on this story... um... um... oh, oh, I think I have it! The company doing the redesign doesn't have a history of being, you know, awarded Halliburton, you know, no bid kind of government contracts. Hang on, I'm being hang on just a second. Yeah, the company is Smartronics. Out of $47 million in federal contracts, only $132,000 came from competition bids. Okay, so that's hang on. Let me... oh! Oh, oh, I know! At least the company selected doesn't have a shady, you know, Dick Cheney/Halliburton type connection. No, hang on just a second. I'm just being... Smartronics, are you sure? They are a steady contributor to House majority leader Steny Hoyer. So oh, oh, I've got it! I've got it! At least it doesn't cost $50 million for the new improved pie charts. That's okay, it is a government project and the jury is still out if they can, you know, go $32 million over budget on a website which I think they can, but let's have a little optimism here.
VOICE: That was even more overwhelming evidence that we are destined to be a bunch of socialist pigs very, very soon on the Glenn Beck program.