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GLENN: I don't know about you, but I want to feel secure and I do feel secure. In fact, I feel so secure that I haven't saved a dime in my entire life because I have the ultimate security blanket called Social Security. It is so great, I'm a positive guy, you know. You listen to the show. You know how positive I am on the future. Anyway, I try to avoid all the nay Sayers who are always complaining: Oh, Glenn, in six years Social Security, we'll be paying out more in benefits than it collects in taxes. Oh, boohoo, cry me a river. We're going to grow our way out of this. And then the people say, "Oh, the fun will be depleted by 2037." Okay, all right. Sure, it's true, the Social Security trustees are saying the program is broke, quote/unquote. But what do they know, you know? Besides, 2037, do you know how many things we could invent by 2037? That's a long way off. There's plenty of time to fix this and that's exactly what the Social Security Administration is doing. Take, for example, the training conference they just held at a high end Arizona resort. Of course, the rightwing media is going to complain, "Oh, it cost the taxpayers $700,000." Yeah, I know, I know. Yeah, we shouldn't take any spa vacations or have our conferences in resorts, you know. Only a rightwinger that would, you know, be in the Oval Office would say something like that. Then they will also say, "Why do you need..." and I'm not kidding..." to listen to a speech on emotional intelligence. These people are so stupid and emotionally crippled. Don't listen to the complaints. $700,000 of your tax dollars to help out the managers of a failing government I don't even know what you call it. Scam? It's a steal. The 675 managers who attended desperately needed a casino night. They desperately needed dancers and motivational speakers. Their company is losing money! What's a better way to get that cash back than learn from these awesome seminars like Techniques to Empower You: Change the way you relate to your work, change the way you relate to your colleagues, our organizations and our customers. You could go from that, Techniques that Empower You down to Mentoring The Generations. We'll help you engage effectively all across all dimensions of diverse thoughts, diverse ideas, attitudes, beliefs, behaviors and diverse values of all generations. My gosh! We are going to fix this Social Security thing really fast. Oh, and then there's the emotional intelligence seminar: Learn to lead from where you stand... or sit with the door closed most often. And focus on a wide array of competencies and skills that drive leadership performance.
Then there's this one: Managing Diverse People: A forum to discuss diversity and management for all employees. And then, Learning at a Higher Level: Join a panel of current senior executive service, SES Career Development Associates and learn what steps they took to prepare themselves for placement in the SES. Of course, they also had the, I hope you made it to the Removing the Barriers. Learn hands on. Problem solving processes that give employees the opportunity to identify areas of conflicts and concerns in the workplace and the options or solutions to address them.
You know what? Let me tell you something. These are wonderful, tender, neato classes that I'm sure all the managers there at the Social Security Administration, they benefitted from them. They're fantastic. I'm happy for them. You know, it's great. There is one class missing that I think that we should make sure is in there in the next manager's spa getaway. I'd like to call this class Addition and Subtraction: A highly trained calculator expert will show you the numbers on a calculator and teach you how to spend less money than you take in.
VOICE: That was even more overwhelming evidence that we are destined to be a bunch of socialist pigs very, very soon on the Glenn Beck program.