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GLENN: I did a lot of thinking on this and I have a new proposal because once we take care of healthcare, we can get right to progressive pricing on everything. And here's my simple proposal. When you get to the movies, you just hand the movie theater guy your new Real ID Social Security number electronic medical records, work history, DNA record card. It's another great policy that I'm pushing for but we'll talk about that later. It just also happens to have not only your medical records ‑‑ I mean, in case something happens, it will be right there on your movie ticket, what drugs you are allergic to and stuff, it's great. But we'll get into that later. Anyway, it also has your income attached right to your Real ID. And if you don't want the card, you know, maybe we just put a bar code on your forehead or a chip planted underneath your skin or something like that. Again we'll talk later. But once you've been scanned, the cash register will tell you what you have to pay. So the guy behind me who makes 45 grand, he pays the average of $10.50. If you make between ‑‑ and I just took the tax code to do this. If you make between $67,900 and $137,000, you would pay $17.50. You see what I mean? You are paying $7.50 more because you make more. If you made between $137,050 and $208,050, you just simply pay $19.60 per movie. If you made between 208,050 and 372,950, the movie's going to cost you $20.10. What difference does it make to you? What are you going to do with all of that money? Okay, so your movie ticket cost $23.10. What? And, of course, all those who, you know, would be able to pay, you know, that we could pay for the ones that are making less than $16,700 because if you are making about $16,700, you should go to the movie for $7. And if you didn't make $16,700, I mean, you wouldn't pay anything. Wait a minute, that doesn't include deductions. It would have to work out on your Real ID card some deductions.
All right. Since between 40 and 50% don't actually qualify to pay income taxes, if you make less than the average, you just get in for free. So in other words, if you are making less than $45,000 ‑‑ this is sweet, man. We could pass this. If you make less than $45,000 a year, movies are free for you.
Now, if you happen to be one of those evil people that just are constantly thinking about themselves, you know, the rich, you know, the wealthiest tax bracket, you get ready to pony up $24.50. Now, actually with the changes in the federal code that he's made already, your ticket price for the movie theater is now $27.72, but that doesn't factor in the state and local taxes. And since I'm in New York, that would actually bring the price of a ticket up to $36.54 per movie. And then, of course, there's the new healthcare surtax. So it would really be ‑‑ okay, all right. So as we stand today, your ticket price if you are one of the wealthy people, your ticket price would cost you $40.32. But you can afford it, and you get to see the same movie that other people get to see for 7 bucks. But you can afford it. I forgot, I forgot, I forgot. It's actually not $40.32. Because I forgot about Social Security and FICA. So the next time you want to go see a Sandra Bullock or a Ryan Reynolds movie which was fantastic, tell me that wasn't worth $44.52. Seriously, seriously. Of course, that doesn't count in adjusted income, either, and since the wealthiest 1% pays about 40% taxes ‑‑ all right. If this were just a rational ticket price, if we were just trying to do the rational thing and we look at everything, half of everybody in the movie would get in for free and the wealthy would pay only $423 per ticket. That's all ‑‑ but that's it! But come on, you are not going to miss that $423 for a movie ticket. Come on. Half of the movie theater? They should be in for free, you know. And we could do it with everything. We could do it with concession stands, at least I know, and this is just me, I know if I went to the counter and I realized that the cookie dough bites that the guy just got in front of me for free and the guy in front of him, the movie theater paid $7 to eat the cookie dough bites, at least I could probably, I'd have a little more self‑control when I realized that they were costing me $191. I'm just ‑‑ damn, this evil country and their nonprogressive pricing.