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GLENN: And here's my favorite. Let's get to can we dance with the czars for just a second, please?
GLENN: I love the fact that we can get to know them. They're fantastic. Stu, do you like the czars that we've met so far?
STU: They are fantastic.
GLENN: And they are wonderful dancers so far. Who is your favorite dancer?
STU: Van Jones.
GLENN: Why do you like him so much?
STU: I believe it was the acrobatic nature of his routine will
GLENN: Really? What did you like about Van Jones, Pat?
PAT: Did a mean zomba, mean zomba.
GLENN: It didn't bother you that he was a full fledged communist?
PAT: No, that was way in the past.
GLENN: That was Rodney King, that was after Rodney King.
STU: That was like the 1890s, 1790s? You are saying it was the 1790s?
GLENN: No, it was the 1990s that Rodney and then he went to jail and then he became a radical Marxist and then he became a communist and then he went to work on streets, you know, in like community organizations and, you know, to try to
PAT: I haven't heard them say this but I'm sure that he's completely beyond the communist thing now. I'm sure he is.
GLENN: Well, no, he did. He moved on. He said
PAT: He moved on.
GLENN: He found the green movement.
GLENN: So he went from the red to the green movement.
STU: He went to the jobs movement, and I think the jobs movement is the appropriate place for him to be.
PAT: And you know, I mean, if there's anybody with a background that you can trust, it's communists in creating jobs.
GLENN: That's true.
PAT: There's complete full employment.
GLENN: You know what, you are turning me around. You know what, let's dance with another czar here.
PAT: All right.
GLENN: Let's meet the new czar. This one is Cass Sunstein. He is fantastic. He was a professor at the University of Chicago law school. Hey, wasn't that where our president was a
PAT: Yes, uh huh.
GLENN: That is fantastic. You know what's great? It's almost this administration is almost like family. I don't know why I think of families, when I think of Chicago, mob comes to mind. But it's like a family. You know what I mean? The Chicago law school is there and he's like, hey, you are fantastic. He is a prolific author, and he has written so many answers on the questions of law and policy, and they are not expecting him to have any problem. Quote, easily confirmed by the Senate. And this is going to be fantastic because this guy has supported the cost benefit analysis. This is the practice of examining regulations to ensure that the benefit to society outweighs whatever costs they impose.
For instance, the Bridge to Nowhere, let's do the cost benefit analysis. Wouldn't you say, Stu?
STU: Works perfectly with a bridge.
GLENN: Exactly right. The cost benefit of the bridge. It doesn't why would we spend all of this money on this bridge? There's not enough people that use it.
STU: It works perfectly on everything, of course, except for global warming, which you should never do. Never do a cost benefit analysis on global warming. Because that's just moral. But everything else you should definitely like people dying because they're not worth enough to society, that's
GLENN: Well, he does have this. He thinks that the amounts of arsenic in water, he's written about this. Standards set at 3 parts per billion would save more lives than a standard set at 10 parts per billion but it would also cost more to achieve and that cost will, in turn, be passed on to customers in their water bills. If it could be shown that the more stringent standard would result in saving 10 lives per year, how much would society be willing to pay to achieve that? $10 million, $100 million, a billion?
STU: So you are saying this guy wants people to live.
GLENN: He wants people to live. That's what he's doing.
STU: There's nothing wrong with that.
GLENN: He's saying how much is a human life worth. That's what he's saying, how much is a human life worth.
STU: Because he wants lives.
STU: Like save or creating lives.
GLENN: For instance hmmm? For instance, he's written in support of what some people call the senior death discount, and he supports this. He's written several articles in support of this. And this is a practice taking into account the years of life expectancy when evaluating a regulation.
PAT: So if you are 74, for instance, then you wouldn't be as worth saving as somebody who was 22 and lived near something that was toxic.
GLENN: Let's use something that's not so hate driven here. Let's say there's a toxic waste dump and they find it underneath a senior citizens home. Then they find another identical toxic waste dump underneath a playground. The toxic waste dump is worth taking out under the playground but not under the senior citizens home because children have more life expectancy than the old people do.
PAT: Well, that makes sense because if you are going to die anyway by the time you are 75 and there's a toxic waste dump, the toxic waste may not even kick in until you're dead already.
GLENN: No, but see, what would happen here already is you have then old people, their life not being worth as much.
STU: Well, it's not just the life. It's quality of life. For example, if you are on a playground and this toxic waste, you know, slows you down, makes your muscles, your innards disintegrate, you wouldn't be able to use the slide. You wouldn't be able to climb to the top of the ladder.
GLENN: Yeah, but neither would the
STU: You wouldn't be able to work on the jungle gym, where if you are old, you are not doing anything. I mean, you are just sitting there in a home.
GLENN: I think the other side would be that you should, you know, value life is life.
PAT: Have you ever been to a nursing home?
GLENN: I have.
PAT: A lot of people living there don't even want to. They might be glad there's a toxic waste dump outside.
GLENN: So are you equating that kind of like millionaires have so much money that they don't even they won't even notice?
STU: They are not even going to miss the money if it's gone.
GLENN: So you are saying that we won't enemies old people or old people won't miss living?
STU: Well, society won't miss old people.
STU: Society will miss jungle gyms.
PAT: They won't have to go to the rest room anymore.
GLENN: Hang on a second. Isn't there something for the individual?
STU: You are saying the individual rung on jungle gym?
GLENN: It sounds like you guys are making the case for a collective.
STU: Well, society is what's most important, I think. I mean, if you look, there's one existence where you're in bed.
GLENN: By the way, we're just practicing. So when all of this comes true we know exactly how to blend in and we can we're just practicing. Go ahead. So anyway, you were saying?
STU: So I'm saying old people are just in bed. I mean, think about swings. Think about tether ball.
GLENN: Okay, okay, you've convinced me on the whole "Old people are worth less than children."
PAT: Good. Okay.
GLENN: You've convinced me on that.
PAT: All right.
GLENN: Now, help me out with this one because he's also a very big, he's a very big animal rights guy, okay? In fact, John Cornyn from Texas says he's not convinced that he's not going to push for radical animal rights agenda. But Sunstein said that, you know, he promises he won't.
STU: Oh, he promised?
GLENN: Yeah, he promised he won't. What he won't do is he would like to establish, and he's written about this, he would like to establish legal rights for livestock, wildlife, and pets. And that would enable animals to file lawsuits in American courts.
GLENN: Hang on just a second. Wait a minute. I think this is a bad idea. What do you mean finally?
STU: Of course you think it's a bad idea. I mean, you've routinely criticized cats for their role in our society.
GLENN: What would make you say that? Would you say the literally 8,000 letters that we received about me saying that if you have too many cats, you should be picked up by Homeland Security and that I hate cats and all dogs should eat cats?
STU: Exactly. I mean, you'd be one of the first targets of the lawsuit. I think, though, the first would be if you've ever seen the, every year they do the ugliest dog contest. I mean, that's hateful. I mean, this dog is just trying to make it through life and, yeah, it might not might not fit society's
GLENN: So are you saying we're hurting the feelings of what about, like, if you have a pet? Can you have a pet? I mean, what if you had a pet and then somebody said, I'm going to sue you because you have a pet and your dog's like perfectly happy. I mean, we treat my dog well. Are you saying that he should be able to be represented in court by somebody who's suing me so he could be liberated?
STU: I certainly wouldn't call him a pet. I mean, if there's some consensual arrangement. I mean, I don't know if
GLENN: You are not forced to sign a pen I mean sign a contract or anything.
STU: There's a paw, a paw print, talking a very specific paw print. The paw print is different for every dog. I don't know why are you talking about some forced arrangement? What country do we live in here?
GLENN: No. I'm just saying that I mean, I'm just saying that I don't think he should be able to bring lawsuits up against hunters for going to hunt an animal.
STU: Oh, because, you know, you should just be able to just shoot things. Oh, and I suppose that means you are supposed to have a right to a gun as well.
GLENN: So this is our new could we have our Dancing With the Czar, please? Because I think we've gotten to know him...
PAT: Pretty well.
GLENN: Pretty well. This is the new guy. He is, again, Cass Sunstein, Cass Sunstein. What a surprise, he's also a visiting professor at Harvard. If I hear "Harvard" or "Chicago" one more time, I think I'm going to hang myself.
PAT: I have to say I think this guy's solving two problems in one.
GLENN: What do you mean?
PAT: He's obviously an animal rights guy. So we're going to be protecting animals from being brutally killed and cooked and eaten by human beings. So that's going to lessen the food supply. But what we do is supplement that by recycling old people.
GLENN: Oh, my gosh. I never thought of that.
PAT: Have you ever see?
GLENN: Seriously, seriously.
PAT: Do you not remember?
GLENN: Let's think about this. Of course I remember.
PAT: Soylent Green.
VOICE: People. Soylent Green. Soylent Green is people!
PAT: This could be
GLENN: I think Charlton Heston said it best.
PAT: When he said, "It's people."
VOICE: Soylent Green, made out of people.
GLENN: By a czar.
VOICE: Soylent Green is people!
GLENN: I think you are exactly right. I think that's great. And if we could have a side of old person along with a really expensive piece of ham that the government has, wouldn't that be great? Seriously, and all of the animals will start to talk in a Disney sort of way.
STU: The ham thing has been debunked, though.
GLENN: Oh, it has?
STU: Yes. They have reported specifically that they paid double the price that you could get at any grocery store and
GLENN: That's not debunking it.
STU: It wasn't like one piece of ham paid millions of dollars. They just paid double the price of the special at Food Lion.
GLENN: That doesn't sound like that's debunking of it to me. Is that a debunking of it, Pat?
STU: I'm saying that when you know government savings they are always talking about they are going to have in healthcare. Well, this is an example of it. Instead of paying 50 million times the price, they only paid double. That's savings.
GLENN: The world is upside down, man. How is it? How is it? You know what? Everybody sees it now. Everybody sees it. If you don't see it, we should make you into old people food. We should hang you in some sort of an IV bag in a nursing home that's built on a toxic waste dump. If you don't see what's going on right now, this has nothing to do with Common Sense. This is way beyond. Way beyond. This is a transformation of our country and an overwhelming of the system, what I believe to intentionally collapse it.
Okay, did I just say that out loud?