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GLENN: Yes, sometimes our government even amazes me. The latest example is the cash for clunkers program. Oh, it's a huge success, don't you think? I mean, that's the way the media is touting it. Why? Well, it's a huge success because so many people wanted to take advantage of it. That money was supposed to last until October is gone in less than a week. Wow. Hardly wait to see what healthcare costs us, huh? That's the definition of success? Here's the thing, Washington, and I'm going to speak slowly so you can understand. If you give $4500 for free, people will line up to take it. It's not rocket science. Imagine being such an incompetent organization that you're excited that you can give money away this quickly. What an accomplishment. But actually this success is just another example of how pathetic our government is. This program had a budget that was supposed to last for the rest of July, all of August, all of September and at least some of October. A budget for three or four months that lasts one week. Sorry, not even an entire week. That is success. That was the kind of change we were looking for in Washington.
VOICE: We're changing for change. Change.
GLENN: Oh, yeah. There's a change I was looking for. I don't know about you. Now, they are sure to expand the amount of cash that they are pouring into the program. I mean, it was very successful and everything. Oh, I got an update for you. They have. Stu, do you have any idea?
STU: Yes. It looks like they are going to add another $2 billion to the program.
GLENN: Another $2 billion.
GLENN: Another $2 billion to the program.
PAT: It's crazy. That's crazy.
GLENN: You think about the path of the money here, okay? Just follow the money. Have you ever heard that, follow the money? Follow the path of the money here. They take $4500 of your tax dollars. Then they give it to some other citizen who takes their car that is running fine and then they give that $4500 back to the car company that is probably already owned by the government anyway and then the politicians get to stand up and say, hey, guess what, we saved the auto industry, sales are up 9 billion percent. They are taking money from the taxpayer, giving it to the government, then moving it to other people to give to the government again. It's the circle of government. It's weird how these things always end at the government, isn't it? They always it's just so weird. Imagine that there was a struggling McDonald's franchise. You go out and buy it. Then you announce a new McDonald's program at your franchise, all Big Macs are just a quarter. Then you go out and borrow the money to cover the difference between the quarter and the regular price and you put that in the cash register after every sale. Then you gather the employees and tell them your program was so successful, sales are up 200%. Oh, yeah, and by the way, we're out of business. That's what they're doing! Except this path runs deeper in the incompetence trail. Has anybody listened to the radio commercials? Has anybody listened to the newspapers? Has anybody seen any ads on television, heard ads on radios or seen the ads in newspapers about the cash for clunkers rebates? You open up your newspapers today and it's riddled with those. Because they are so behind the times, they can't cancel things. Most likely you haven't heard them on the radio today but you heard those ads yesterday.
STU: I heard one on my way in today.
GLENN: Did you really?
STU: Yeah. And now luckily thank God the government is there to throw billions of dollars more. Because I mean, they are still running those ads.
GLENN: Look, here's the deal. This was the business plan for the next four months for these car dealerships. Now these dealerships, if they didn't have the money, would come up with something new, cancel or change the advertising that they've purchased. This, of course, screws with the businesses who can't get anything predictable out of this government yet again. It screws with the radio stations that have the schedules already purchased, screws with the newspapers, screws with the television stations.
STU: Guy's always complaining. He's always just coming up with something.
GLENN: We've already covered how the auto parts recyclers are getting hit. Why? Because the government is requiring these cars to get crushed or shredded. What do auto parts dealers do? The used auto parts stores, junkyards, what do they do? They take these junkers, they take out the drivetrains, they take out the engines, they take off the pieces and they sell them because people's cars are being but you want to talk about a disposable society? Here it is. Let me ask you, are you someone or do you know someone in this economy that could use a working car? Do you know somebody who's fallen on hard times that can get their car repaired? Do you know somebody who's driving something unsafe because they can't afford something else? Do you know someone looking for a used car? Who will now find that prices are artificially higher because the government is inexplicably shredding a quarter of a million used cars that could be used on the market? Are you somebody who's going into college that wants to buy a used car? Good luck. We have seen this destruction before. FDR did it. In May 1933 Franklin Delano Roosevelt, as part of the New Deal, he started the Agriculture Adjustment Administration. Business for farmers, not real good. Kind of like the car business. He wanted to artificially alter the farmers market. Sound familiar? Cotton prices he deemed too low. What to do, what to do. He created a nonexistent shortage. He destroyed 10 million acres of cotton. ADD moment. Did anybody see the TV show last night? Did you see the TV show?
STU: Yeah, yeah.
GLENN: I premiered on television last night the painting.
PAT: Oh, yeah, looked good. How are you going to sell that yet, by the way?
GLENN: I have no idea.
PAT: Sotheby's? Have they been calling?
GLENN: Well, the Guggenheims, they are there looking to see if they can get the first original and I said I'm not really sure. But anyway, do you wonder why I put FDR and the word "Deceit" next to it in that painting? This is why. Pork prices were deemed too low. Cotton and then pork. So when it came to pork, he slaughtered six million baby pigs in the great baby pig Holocaust of 1933.
PAT: Nobody talks about that anymore.
GLENN: No bacon for anybody who might have been starving in the Great Depression. No, no, no. If I heard about the lard sandwiches with my family, I heard them over and over and over again with my grandparents. They didn't have any butter. They had to use lard. But even lard was rationed. Think of all the lard that could have been made with all of the baby pigs. But no, no, no. Feeding people wasn't part of a central planning. Neither were clothes made of cotton that certainly many were suffering in the depression could have used.
Tell me if this sounds familiar. All of this followed the Emergency Farm Mortgage Act that allotted $200 million for refinancing mortgages to help farmers facing foreclosure. First he bailed their homes out, then that wasn't enough. Then he decided to destroy products that they were growing, you know, pigs or cotton to artificially inflate the prices. You see, killing the baby pigs was a response to an emergency. The emergency was the Farm Mortgage Act didn't work. And that was a response to an emergency. And when everybody started to complain about the millions of pigs being slaughtered and the meat being wasted, they responded by creating another government program called the Federal Surplus Relief Corporation. The FSRC diverted agriculture commodities to relief organizations. So now because they slaughtered the baby pigs, they had to create another one that would take food away from other farms, buy it with taxpayer dollars, and then send it to relief organizations. Do you see what happened here? A supposed emergency creates a giant mortgage government giveaway. Then central planning causes the destruction of perfectly useful and needed products. And then that mess is all solved by the creation of another government program that makes people dependent on the government. Three years later the pig murdering and crop destruction of the Agriculture Adjustment Administration was ruled unconstitutional, but the damage had already been done by 1936. All of these policies appeared to work initially but turned out to be complete and utter disasters. Does any of this sound familiar? Any of it?
PAT: No, because if we weren't destroying all those bad cars, all those people would be dying anyway from the CO2 they emit, Glenn. These in the long run this is part of creating, you are saving lives.
GLENN: Why are you complaining now when I didn't hear you complain under the George Bush administration?
PAT: Yeah, remember his car destruction program?
STU: Or the FDR administration. I didn't hear any complaints about that.
GLENN: Let me ask you this, Dick Cheney and Halliburton.
PAT: Yeah... who? Who did you say?
GLENN: Dick Cheney and Halliburton.
GLENN: Okay, stop, stop. We can't use the Halliburton anymore because I can't take the Halliburton. That is the politics of the past.
PAT: You are right. You are right.
GLENN: Now we need GE. I mean, GE is the Halliburton of this administration and so we have the new do we have the new GE?
PAT: We do.
GLENN: Where is it?
PAT: It's right here. You are not hearing it yet?
GLENN: No, I'm not. Oh, this is GE.
VOICE: GE, we bring evil to life.
GLENN: Fantastic. We bring evil to life. And I stand by that one.