Glenn Beck is seen here on the Insider Webcam, an exclusive feature available only to Glenn Beck Insiders. Learn more...
GLENN: 888 727 BECK. Welcome to the program. Gee, where do we even start. How about here. Here we are in the middle of healthcare. Has anyone considered that there are other things still moving forward? Has anybody considered that cap and trade hasn't even come up yet? When they come back, remember Ban Ki moon. You have a ton of respect for Ban Ki moon, don't you? I love that.
PAT: Whenever I want real opinions, real thoughtfulness, I always turn to Ban Ki.
GLENN: Ban Ki moon.
PAT: Ban Ki, because he's
GLENN: Ban Ki.
PAT: I think he's the world's foremost well, he is the secretary general of the U.N. So he's the world's foremost authority on everything.
GLENN: He is. Security, prosperity, love. Peace, global warming.
PAT: Peace, look how peaceful the world has turned since Ban Ki. Wow.
GLENN: Can I tell you something? Can I tell you something? You know what the problem with the UN is? It hasn't fully been implemented. We haven't given them enough power.
PAT: Thank you. Thank you.
GLENN: If we could just give them more power, then all that corruption and
PAT: Goes away.
PAT: Goes away.
STU: It's like healthcare because right now, what, only a third of people are under living under universal healthcare. If we get that up to 100, it would be fantastic.
GLENN: It hasn't been done right yet.
STU: If we just do it another time with more money and more research, it would be perfect.
GLENN: I mean this sincerely, I mean this sincerely. If it wasn't for the 50 million people that were standing in the way of Stalin that he had to waste all that time and energy killing, can you imagine how great the Soviet Union could have been?
PAT: So much further along, so much further along.
GLENN: He would have had to compromise. He didn't compromise.
GLENN: But he wouldn't have to waste time tilling those 50 million people.
STU: Well, it's a lot of resources, a lot par work.
GLENN: Shovels, a lot of shovels having to dig all those graves in the forest and that was hurting the environment. He had to go in, bring giant trucks, build roads to bring all the dead bodies into the woods.
PAT: You know how that hurt him. And I mean, rather than killing 50 million people, he could have been working on his own country's people. He could have been killing Chinese, Americans.
GLENN: The reason why I bring that up, the reason why I bring that up is gosh darn it, the Soviet Union hasn't even been done right. I mean, they had all the dissent going on there. They had all the people and the gulags and all the people that they had to kill and bury in the woods. And it wasn't originally you know, Mark said it has to be a capitalist country first so they can experience the greed. And once they experience the greed of capitalism, then and only then will Marxism really work.
STU: Right. But when they can build up their coffers enough because of the prosperity of capitalism, then they turn it into a crap heap and that's what he was talking about.
GLENN: Yeah, and I think it's great that we have this opportunity to prove Marx right, you know.
PAT: Finally. Finally.
PAT: We have that opportunity. It's been, what, 160 years of that genius?
PAT: The Karl Marx genius and nobody's been able to fully implement it.
GLENN: What was the quote that we found from Karl Marx?
PAT: We should find that accurately because you don't want to waste that one.
GLENN: You know what we should do is, Stu, I'd like to put you in charge of something, okay? I'd like to have you work on a special.
GLENN: Maybe we could do a little mini documentary on, let's just say
STU: The truth about Marx and how fantastic he was?
GLENN: What was that truth we read about Karl Marx that was so great about
PAT: Where he talked about you had to eliminate?
GLENN: What was it, 30%?
PAT: Something like, seems like it was somewhere between 20 and 30% of the population. Because they're excess.
GLENN: They're never going to play along.
PAT: You have to.
GLENN: You've got to kill at least 20 to 30% of the population but then it will work. And I think that's the kind of leader. How many times did you hear our, you know, Jefferson or Franklin or anybody like that say that?
PAT: Well, none now that you mention it. But look what happened as a result.
STU: Look at the result. There's people without healthcare.
PAT: That's right, that's right. A lot of people.
GLENN: And the healthcare situation is out of control.
PAT: Oh, I
GLENN: If we don't solve this now by putting in some sort of structure that won't actually do anything until 2013, if we don't act right now to that.
PAT: The dead bodies will keep piling up, the dead bodies.
GLENN: I felt so bad. I walked over three handicapped people, I walked over a woman today that had diabetes and her doctor didn't listen to her and then just cut off her feet.
STU: For profit?
GLENN: For profit, for profit.
PAT: They didn't need to be cut off?
GLENN: No, they didn't need to be cut off. No, she was all of these doctors are just
PAT: Wow, wow.
GLENN: maiming people for cash.
PAT: And how about the three people that were outside the building this morning screaming, healthcare! Healthcare!
GLENN: Yeah. And I said
PAT: I need
GLENN: shut up, peasants! I am going in to make mountains of cash to bury you.
STU: You did, you felt bad about it after, though?
GLENN: No, I didn't. I actually came up and told one of my minions to cut them up into very thin slices and I'm going to make Philly cheesesteaks out of them. But I told them cook them all the way through because I don't want any of that disease being in my meat.
STU: I know because of global warming the trees aren't turning the way they used to and we're approaching autumn.
GLENN: I know, but that's what Ban Ki moon is all about.
STU: I know. And what's been going on, this is a new thing in the suburbs, because the leaves would fall off the trees, the kids would go and jump in big piles of leaves for fun. Apparently now it's just tonsils that have been removed for profit. It's big piles of tonsils.
GLENN: Can I tell you something?
PAT: I jumped into a big pile of feet yesterday.
GLENN: Did you really? You know I live in a nice area and there's a lot of doctors. I mean, we let the riffraff in. And there's a lot of doctors in my area.
STU: Must be tonsils everywhere.
GLENN: That's what they they rake up the tonsils.
GLENN: And then the kids jump in the pile of tonsils and feet.
PAT: Oh, man.
STU: I just want to make sure, they are tonsils and feet that have been removed for profit, right?
GLENN: Oh, yeah. That's how they paid for the house. No, you couldn't afford a house in my neighborhood without taking unnecessary surgical procedures on, no. You think you could buy a nice house without doing that? He doesn't it's so funny. I was having a conversation with one of these doctors friends of mine and he was just like we were just laughing and he was like, people come to me and they think that I'm actually going to help them because I care.
GLENN: We chortled on that one. Ho, ho, ho.
PAT: That's rich.
GLENN: It was rich, and so are you because you're cutting people's feet off.
PAT: (Laughing evilly).
GLENN: (Laughing evilly).
STU: (Laughing evilly).
GLENN: It was just like that.
PAT: Wow. That's
GLENN: Weird. It was weird.
GLENN: Anyway, so we were talking about Ban Ki moon because he's going to keen up all the corruption and he says we're now only four months away from saving the Earth. If we don't save it in the next four months
PAT: The Earth melts?
GLENN: It is like a giant ice cream cone, and the sun
PAT: And you've got to keep licking it.
GLENN: I was going to say the sun was do that again?
PAT: (Licking lips).
GLENN: That's turning, isn't it?
PAT: It is a little.
GLENN: I was going to say it's like an ice cream cone and the sun is melting it but we know the sun has absolutely nothing to do
PAT: It's CO2. That 2 million degree burning orbit in the sky, it's just a glow. That's all it is.
GLENN: By the way, Debbie Stabenow who's leading the charge to make sure that there is a, you know, some sort of Fairness Doctrine or that, you know, radio stations' licenses are just given away to progressives.
STU: Because they are making up bogus science, Glenn. They are making up ridiculous claims about science and the Earth.
GLENN: I know, we're very, very dangerous. We're very dangerous.
PAT: Debbie's interest in the Fairness Doctrine has nothing to do with the fact that her husband started one of those progressive networks, does it?
GLENN: Anyway, Debbie Stabenow was talking about global warming and I don't know if you've heard this. Have you heard this?
PAT: I think so, uh huh.
PAT: Yeah, I have.
GLENN: You have the audio or is it just
GLENN: Because I have go ahead. Go ahead, here it is. Listen to this is Debbie Stabenow on global warming. This is how bad it is. Ban Ki moon, I hope you are listening.
PAT: Climate change is very real.
GLENN: This is not actual. Not actual audio.
STU: Well, it's audio. It's just not her audio.
PAT: Senatorial voice impersonating: Global warming creates volatility. I feel it when I'm flying. The storms are more volatile. We are paying the price in more hurricanes and tornadoes and I
GLENN: All of this is disproven. Oh, I'm sorry.
PAT: I have to reiterate: I feel it when I'm flying.
STU: (Laughing). No, all you have to do is reach up and turn that little knob and more air will come out. You won't feel as warm, that's all.
GLENN: The higher we go, strangely had nothing to do with getting up higher and heat rises or the sun, we're getting any of that stuff. No, that's crazy talk. It's just that we're flying in the fumes of all of the cars that I feel so hot when I'm high, up in the sky.
PAT: And I know this because I don't have one of those little twisty Earth things that shoots down on me in my living room when I'm watching TV. I wish we had one of those.
GLENN: We don't. What we need to do is tax everybody, redistribute the wealth and basically
PAT: Get those airplane thingys.
GLENN: Instead of getting one of those little air conditioning thingies or anything like that, what we should do is just destroy the entire monetary system of the entire world.