Arguing with Idiots - Jon Stewart



Arguing with Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds and Big Government


by Glenn Beck


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GLENN: That's right, coming soon to a bookstore near you, very near you. Arguing With Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds and Big Government. It's a way to use common sense, reason, logic and humor to win arguments against all of the idiots in your life. It's specifically designed for your idiot friends, your idiot coworkers, even those few times when the idiot is you. You know the conversations I'm talking about like when your friend comes up to you and says...

PAT: Hey, Glenn, you know what? You always say that we have the best healthcare system in the world.

GLENN: Yes.

PAT: Yet, this time you made a YouTube video a while ago saying that you had a nightmare experience with your butt surgery? Remember? That butt is huge, by the way. You might want to lay off the jelly doughnuts, fatty Fat Fatso, the best healthcare system in the world, huh? Yeah.

GLENN: So to a 45 year old man with a wife, four kids, who have dealt with the medical system hundreds of times in their lives, your main argument to debunk the quality of our entire healthcare system is to bring up my one bad experience?

PAT: Well, yeah. But I mean, it wasn't just that one thing. You said our healthcare system is a nightmare. Aha! I have you. I have you.

GLENN: Sure. Sure, you do, and I stand by that. The idea of being drugged and cut open to avoid dying of, you know, something else, then waking only to deal with paperwork and recovery is a nightmare, but like our legal system, or our political system, it's the worst system in the world... except for all of the others. This reform is basically saying congress is broken; let's implement a ruthless dictator. No, no, I don't uh uh, I don't think we're going to go with that. Our healthcare system, which is far from perfect, is much more effective and more salvageable than congress ever is.

PAT: Yeah, yeah, but Jon Stewart said you made a YouTube video and then he looked into the camera with a puzzled sort of look, you know, on his face. That's when I know he's telling the truth, and it's time for me to laugh. And I saw him do that, and I laughed.

GLENN: I'm sure you did.

PAT: A lot.

GLENN: But my argument for our healthcare system revolves around facts. For instance, try this fact. Look into my eyes.

PAT: Okay.

GLENN: This terrible healthcare system has produced half of all new major medicines introduced in the last 20 years.

PAT: Can I look away now? It's really creepy.

GLENN: No, keep looking at me.

PAT: Really creepy.

GLENN: The fact that over the past three decades an American has won the Nobel Prize for medicine 80% of the time. We have 5% of the world's population. See, that's part of my argument. His argument is a YouTube video of a highly drugged and unattractive talk show host.

PAT: Yeah, but Jon Stewart said it, while looking puzzled into the camera.

GLENN: Did you ever stop to think that maybe Jon Stewart just looks into the camera and doesn't bother trying to make sense of his arguments? I mean, you know, not because he's a comedian but because he's 100% sure his audience wouldn't put a second thought into what he's saying?

PAT: You know, I always meant to think about it but then... reruns of Scrubs comes on, which reminds me, how can we expect to have adequate healthcare when our doctors are always pulling pranks on each other and flashing back into hilarious situations? Answer that one, you big fatty Fat Fatso! Fat liar, lying fat liar. Fatty fatso.

GLENN: I will tell you I think we have the best book we've ever done. It has taken us over a year to write.

STU: It's good.

GLENN: It is good, isn't it?

STU: It's great.

GLENN: For instance, the second chapter is the Second Amendment. It has chapters on the Constitution. It has everything I will tell you this, that when I went over a year ago to Simon and Schuster, this is before we got our own, you know, publishing deal where we make the decisions, I went to them and I said, I want to call it commies. And I thought I wanted to call it I was remembering it the other day. I think it was March to Socialism and I thought, no, no, it was commies. Do you remember, Stu?

STU: Yes.

GLENN: And everyone said nobody's going to and I said

PAT: I'm surprised.

GLENN: I know. And I said, trust me, at the time this comes out in September 2009, this is maybe July of 2008, everyone is going to be talking about socialism and communism and what are we and what is supposed to happen. "No, no, no, no, no." So we renamed it Arguing what is it?

STU: Arguing With Idiots.

GLENN: Arguing With Idiots. Commies.

PAT: I like commies. That's got a ring to it.

STU: It does.

PAT: It would have sold a few copies.

STU: Arguing with idiots does describe what the book does.

GLENN: It does. Here's what it is. I started to tell you, for instance, the second chapter is the Second Amendment and it is the best argumentative ever encountered, isn't it?

PAT: I've already

GLENN: Every single one of us. See, what we did with this book is we went to experts. For instance, the Second Amendment. We said we went to William Heller, the guy from the, you know, the

PAT: Heller case.

GLENN: The Heller case. The guy who's made who overturned the D.C. gun ban and we said, okay, you argued in front of the Supreme Court. What are we missing? And he came and gave us no, it's not Heller.

STU: That was his attorney.

GLENN: Yeah, what was his name?

STU: Off the top of my head.

GLENN: I can't remember his name. I apologize. Apologize to the guy who really helped us out.

STU: Who saved the Second Amendment. Sorry about that.

GLENN: Whatever, whatever, oh, grab your gun, freak. But we went to these experts and we said, okay, what are we missing? Help us make the case. And I'm telling you there are things in this book that you won't read any place else and they are the best arguments. And we're trying to come up with a system now. Do you know, do we have the system of e mail?

STU: I don't know yet.

GLENN: We're trying to have we're trying to make this interactive so when you've read the book and then you're standing there and you're at a town hall meeting and they're like, yeah, well, healthcare... you just dial some digits and the arguments will come right to you because you'll read it if you don't take it with you all the time, you'll read it and you'll be like, oh, my gosh, I've got to remember that. So we're trying to give you a way where you can just dial digits and they will be e mailed to you instantly to give you some of the arguments. But it's coming out I don't even know when it's coming out. Do you?

STU: September 22nd, I believe.

PAT: And that chapter, that chapter in particular has virtually any argument on the Second Amendment you've ever heard and some you probably haven't. And it's got it has great explanations for all of them. It's just really great.

GLENN: There's some of the chapters are breathtaking.

STU: You know, you're right. But there's not enough of, "Hey, you big fat, fat fatty" in there. And I think we should have worked that in more.

GLENN: I think there is.

STU: You are right.

GLENN: This one is patterned after "An Inconvenient Book," and I want to tell you why. I truly believe that the youth are almost gone. They didn't grow up. You know, this next generation coming online never experienced the Soviet Union. They don't know. And they are being taught in school that communism is neat. There's nothing wrong with it. Socialism's fantastic. Capitalism, well, there's the problem. And so they don't know. When you read and I've been recommending this for years. When you read the 5,000 Year Leap, you will learn things that you didn't know, and it's the best weapon in your arsenal, the 5,000 Year Leap. This book was set out specifically to cover not only you, I mean, I swear to you you will learn things in this book you had no idea. We have spent over a year on this book and I believe it is our best book we've ever done by far. But I specifically again designed it for the youth for college educated. You can go into your high school student, your college. It's riddled with ADD. It is easy to read. It is in full, what, four, five color print and it not only has ADD so they can digest it and they can read it but also it has 25 pages of fine print footnotes because I wanted you to know exactly, I wanted you I learned from "An Inconvenient Book," "Well, yeah, but where do you get all this information"? We didn't have the time on that one to put all the footnotes in. This one we did. So your kids can use it as a school book where they want to make a debate, they want use an argument, they don't have to quote me. Everything is footnoted in this thing so you can go to the original source and find out exactly, that way your kid doesn't have to say, "I learned that from Glenn Beck" and immediately be discredited. "Oh, I learned that on Page A 25 of the New York Times, August 17th, 2005." It's Arguing With Idiots. It will be in bookstores everywhere in September. It's available for presale now I think on Amazon.com.

Go to the polls and keep mob rule at bay

Scott Olson/Getty Images

November is nearly upon us, and polls are starting to come out. The most recent was a poll conducted last week by the Washington Post and ABC News that showed Congressional Democrats have an 11 point lead heading into the midterms. The biggest swing, as expected after the Kavanaugh circus, is Independent women who are sliding Democrat 52% to 38% Republican.

This is a significant build on the lead last reported back in mid September. Real Clear Politics took the average of eighteen total polls, minus Rasmussen - because it's uh… Rasmussen - and it showed Democrats holding on to a slim lead of six and a half points.

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If this trajectory holds, it appears that the Left got exactly what they wanted when they tried to destroy a man's life all in the disgusting name of politics. They wanted a repeat of the 1991/92 Clarence Thomas fallout - later dubbed "The Year of The Woman - and they're on pace to get it.

How is it that we are so easily played by these awful people we call politicians? This is something I realize everyone listening right now already knows, but if your first thought is emotion every time someone in Washington opens their mouth… take a step back! Do some research and ask yourself, "Why am I feeling so outraged?" This has never been more important than right now. The left is abandoning the rule of law and moving towards mob rule. There's a reason why they all want to abolish the Electoral College. They want to work you up into a frenzy, and then they want to unleash you on the polling booth. But it's all fake. It's a con.

If fiscal responsibility is this bad now, imagine how bad it'll get with a Democrat controlled House, Senate and Executive Branch. The Mercatus Center at George Mason University just released their annual report on fiscal accountability, showing which states are run the most efficiently. Over the past several years, these are the worst run states in the entire Union: Illinois, California, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Connecticut, Hawaii, New Mexico, New York and Rhode Island. Notice a common denominator here? Every single one is a blue state.

We cannot hand power over to mob rule.

On the other hand, these are the most efficiently ran states: South Dakota, Tennessee, Nebraska, Florida, Utah, Alaska, Oklahoma, Wyoming, and Montana. Umm, yeah… ALL Red states.

The facts and numbers are there, but the Left doesn't want you to see them. They don't want you doing your own homework… they just want you pissed off! Don't give in to the outrage. We cannot hand power over to mob rule. There's too much at stake.

"May you live in interesting times" it seems, is actually not an ancient Chinese saying, blessing or curse. The strongest match one can find to its origins comes from the Yorkshire Post in 1936:

Sir Austen Chamberlain, addressing the annual meeting of Birmingham Unionist Association last night, spoke of the "grave injury" to collective security by Germany's violation of the Treaty of Locarno.

Sir Austen, who referred to himself as "a very old Parliamentarian," said:

It is not so long ago that a member of the Diplomatic Body in London, who had spent some years of his service in China, told me that there was a Chinese curse which took the form of saying, 'May you live in interesting times.' There is no doubt that the curse has fallen on us. We move from one crisis to another. We suffer one disturbance and shock after another.

I like the quote, Chinese or English, as it gives us a correct or new perspective on strife, should we care to view our struggles as neither blessing nor curse. My father taught this to me as a small child. But I only really learned it in one of the darkest chapters of my life. Alcoholism and divorce. There is nothing that life can hand to you that is in itself bad. It all depends on what you do with it. Will you allow it to change you in destructive ways through anger, bitterness and despair? Or will you allow it, whatever it is, to strengthen you through enlightenment, correction, humility?

There is nothing that life can hand to you that is in itself bad. It all depends on what you do with it.

We have a desperate need for humility in our society from DC to Hollywood. Everyone left and right is convinced that either they are or their side is absolutely right. And if someone on their side strays from the pack, then they must be "a traitor to the race, party or cause". They are wrong and we remain right. Scientific atheists "know that there is no God" even though almost everything they now believe or "know" in science now proves that the scientists that came before them were wrong. How can those whose field has been built on enhancing, evolving, or outright proving that others and their theories were wrong, be so certain? If those who should be the least certain of final truth are now calling heretic for those who disagree, we are indeed living in interesting times.

But it isn't a "them" problem even though that is what the world is currently trying to sell each of us. It is instead a simple "us" issue. Perhaps we don't see it because we are so busy staging, filtering, or enhancing the colors on our Facebook or Instagram pics that we can no longer recognize or even like the simple truth about us and what our life really is. Much of our life is a lie. We have been marketed to since we were born, told that we are not complete unless we wear, consume, own, vacation at or buy product 1 or 2. It has gone so far as telling us that not only are we not good enough if we don't have all of that, but now, we cannot even be a part of the great new society unless we believe and champion (product, politician or party) A, B or C. Opinions have become products.

Now, however, we are in the next and perhaps final stage. We ourselves are the product. Companies like Google, Facebook, Amazon and YouTube no longer see us as the customer, but what we do, think and believe are now commodities. If you cannot fill this line in: "I am ____________ , Someone will always be there to fill it in for you. Buy this makeup to use the word beautiful. This label to let others know "I AM cool, or in style," or even "I AM rich.'

Buy Democrat to be "compassionate," "smarter than others," or "science-minded." It doesn't matter if you really are any of those things in reality, the label is all you need. Buy Republican if you want to be patriotic, support our troops or for family values. We now buy and believe labels and always judge a book by its cover. Buy the label "Christian" and you can love any life you want but you now can use religion to excuse either yours or anyone else's behaviors. Buy the label progressive and you believe in science even though you deny it in basic biology.

Even labels that were never for sale like "courage" come with a price tag, and its price keeps going lower and lower. Now, this once time revered label can be yours for simply saying things out loud to a room full of people who agree with you and will all cheer when you say it.

Labels and words are experiencing a fire sale and it seems "everything must go."

What comes next is always tough.

Heaven knows the proper price to attach to something so celestial as freedom. — Thomas Payne.

Each generation, except for the last, has had to earn and renew their freedom. They did not buy or sell the label the "greatest generation." In fact, it wasn't even them that came up with that title. It was the "boomers." At the time, there were no labels - they just saw themselves as people, as Americans. They saw the crisis not as anyone's fault, but rather as their turn to stand and do the right thing. It is what they did with their "crisis" that made others bestow the "greatest generation" title on them, and only years later.

We are living in a time of great crisis, not much different or of smaller scale than the great struggles of the past. All of the labels we think we have now, will fall away. Those that we have bought will become worthless and every new label will be purchased with blood, sweat, tears and courage.

Barack Obama and Donald Trump are neither the problem nor the solution. They are a symptom.

What we will face, in the end, will not be smaller than what many of our grandparents or great grandparents faced in the World Wars. No less frightening than the global economic unrest of the 1930's. Nor will it be any greater. It will just be ours. And just like the generations past, it will be our choice on whether or not we survive. What a blessing. The boomers feasted off the crisis of their parents and never truly had to choose life or death, freedom or slavery. They never had to push themselves as a group beyond what humans thought possible to achieve something as valuable as freedom.

The crisis we are just now beginning to see is a blessing our parents never received. Each of us will have to pick between black and white, slavery or freedom, good or evil, and life or death. We will all know in the years to come who we really are, if we chose carefully or if we simply allowed ourselves to become. We can become, through this struggle, exactly who we were born to be. Our best and highest selves.

If each of us were honest and began to see this struggle in the proper light, we would admit that it is the softness of our foundations that have caused these struggles. Barack Obama and Donald Trump are neither the problem nor the solution. They are a symptom. Look all around you. No matter whom you voted for, you will admit that the country, and perhaps the entire world over, is sick.

We are all feeling it and each of our political doctors are seeing the same symptoms and prescribing the opposite medicine. Each of us, as patients, all so desperate to cure what is killing us, become more and more vested in our own "doctor's cure." Our doctor is right and yours is wrong! At the same times each doctor knows that he or she has everything to lose if his patients begin to seek another opinion, diagnosis or remedy. It is their best interest to keep their patients busy looking at the other side. Meanwhile, none of us stop and ask if the diagnosis is even correct. I guess we are just too busy fighting for what our doctor said.

I am not sure about you, but when I am sick or in pain, I am usually at my worst interpersonally. We all snap at others. We act as our lesser selves. When I am sick, fearful or angry, it is almost always followed by a time where I begin conversations with, "I am so sorry for what I said or did, I was just having a really bad day."

We are all having a really very bad, most difficult day. Everyday, it seems.

While it is true that there are difficulties and dangers that lie ahead of us, we must not assume that we will lay down and watch our country go to ruin. Many, if not most of those who voted for democrats and those who voted for republican have much in common with those who voted for neither. While parties and politicians try to convince us otherwise, and many of us may have believed it or even engaged in this "warfare," it is becoming more and more clear that our neighbors are not our enemies.

While it is true that there are difficulties and dangers that lie ahead of us, we must not assume that we will lay down and watch our country go to ruin.

If you are finding this a difficult concept to reconcile, simply ponder what our ancestors came here for, be it three months or three centuries ago. To make a better life, in a country that would allow you to follow your dream, work hard and keep what you built so your children could live a better life than you did and achieve even more than you did. That opportunity came not from this land, or even its people, but rather from its mission statement: "all men are created equal and endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, among them life, liberty and pursuit of happiness." While that mission statement was and always be aspirational, it has never been fully achieved. It is shaped and given the best chance to succeed when it is protected by the guardrails of the constitution and bill of rights. It is indeed our laws, which come from our American Thesis, that has created the modern world. It is indeed why people still die trying to get on this side of our border.

Is it too much of a stretch to believe that you and I are not alone in our doubt of our doctors? Are we the only ones left that think our neighbor, who knows how sick we all are, really wants everyone who disagrees with their doctor to die? Maybe they have seen flaws in their practitioner as we have. Maybe if we stop spending all our time looking at what is wrong with "them" and what's wrong with America, we can begin to see the things that are right and good.

Perhaps we are not as sick as some of these doctors tell us we are. Perhaps they are more akin to bad, crooked chiropractors that have done more damage to our spine than good and will bilk us for every dime week after week until we finally say no or are broke. We haven't wanted to listen to our friends, or those who tell us differently, because we feel the fool.

Perhaps we are beyond help and only have months to live, but, I don't think it needs to be this way. If we are going down, I want to go down with my friends and family around me. All of them, even those who told me not to listen to my doctor or the one I angrily chased away because I just knew they were wrong.

It is easy to jump on the bandwagon and light fires. It is harder always to put them out.

It is easy to jump on the bandwagon and light fires. It is harder always to put them out. Easy to lose friends and harder to make them. In the end, our founding documents are just an idea. I think a really good idea. One that says we can and should all be who we choose to be and live the life we build for ourselves with dignity and security.

But that idea fails if no one remembers it or believes in it.

I still do.

I am not a doctor but I think our illness is all in our heads. We have been convinced by those who suffer from some sort of societal Munchausen by proxy, that we are fatally ill and will only survive because of them. I think they need us to be sick and I for one think we as a people have had enough bed rest.

Once we choose to see things the way they are, coupled with who we always strived to be — our best selves — we will be fine and perhaps stronger than ever. I believe if we can once again see the best in each other — put our past in the past, and our strife and crisis in the right light — down the road, some other generation will name this one — I believe it will be good.

But one thing is sure, it will not be one we choose but rather the label we earned.

North Carolina pastor Andrew Brunson is a free man and back on U.S. soil. After being jailed for over two years by the Turkish government, U.S. officials secured Brunson's release on Friday.

Brunson appeared in a Turkish court on Friday, where he was declared guilty of aiding groups who attempted to overthrow President Erdogan in 2016, but he was sentenced to time already served. Brunson has always denied all the charges. He and his wife had served as missionaries in Turkey for 25 years without any previous such accusations. Brunson's arrest seemed to be just part of Erdogans's crackdown on any and all threats to his power, no matter how minor.

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The decision to finally release Brunson followed months of pressure and behind-the-scenes negotiations by the Trump administration. The pastor's detainment frayed relations between Turkey and the U.S. Turkey wanted the U.S. to extradite Fethullah Gulen, an Islamic cleric whom Erdogan blames for orchestrating the coup attempt against him. Doesn't look like that's in the cards now.

Brunson and his wife met with President Trump in the Oval Office on Saturday, where Brunson prayed for the president. The media covering the meeting quickly changed the subject to the disappearance of Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi. They wanted to know whether Brunson's release had anything to do with Turkey's desire for the U.S. to put pressure on Saudi Arabia for answers about Khashoggi. President Trump insisted that: "The timing is a strict coincidence. It really is."

That might've been a little more believable if he hadn't tacked on the "it really is" part.

Khashoggi, who works for The Washington Post, entered the Saudi consulate in Istanbul on October 2nd. The Turkish government says Saudi agents then murdered him and dismembered his body. Saudi Arabia continues to deny any involvement in Khashoggi's disappearance.

Pastor Brunson looked severely out of place sitting there in the Oval Office.

Pastor Brunson's release will not suddenly thaw relations between the U.S. and Turkey. In reference to Brunson, the headline of a pro-Erdogan newspaper on Saturday said, "Never come back again!"

Pastor Brunson on the other hand, expressed no bitterness toward Turkey during the Oval Office press conference. He said: "We were there for 25 years, and we love the Turkish people."

Pastor Brunson looked severely out of place sitting there in the Oval Office – a humble pastor, devoted to his faith and flock, caught for a moment in the dirty, ruthless, sticky web of international politics.

This weekend, once again, Portland became the stage for radicalism and violence, insanity pretending to be heroic. An extreme, real-world outbreak of the tribal warfare that has shaken our culture and our country as a whole. Of course I'm talking about Antifa.

Yes, there were right-leaning protestors there, but, as usual, they were the ones under attack.

RELATED: Portland mayor allows hostile Antifa mob to threaten city's residents

If only Antifa members realized how utterly postmodern they are—I mean, let's start with the fact that they showed up to an event called the "Law and Order March" with "hard knuckle gloves, knives and firearms." The resultant mayhem has become so common that it would be redundant to give the details. And, more important, what matters here is that this behavior is not only continuing, but worsening.

I don't like to talk about problems and leave people without a solution, or at least a hint of reassurance.

Last week, The Atlantic published an article, titled "Americans Strongly Dislike PC Culture"

Here are a few standouts:

Some 8 percent of Americans are progressive activists, and their views are even less typical. By contrast, the two-thirds of Americans who don't belong to either extreme constitute an 'exhausted majority.' Their members 'share a sense of fatigue with our polarized national conversation, a willingness to be flexible in their political viewpoints, and a lack of voice in the national conversation.' Most members of the 'exhausted majority,' and then some, dislike political correctness. Among the general population, a full 80 percent believe that 'political correctness is a problem in our country.' Even young people are uncomfortable with it, including 74 percent ages 24 to 29, and 79 percent under age 24. On this particular issue, the woke are in a clear minority across all ages.

And here's the real clincher, a hard-and-fast, data-based assertion that most of us, most of America, has realized all along but has been too petrified to express:

Compared with the rest of the (nationally representative) polling sample, progressive activists are much more likely to be rich, highly educated—and white. They are nearly twice as likely as the average to make more than $100,000 a year. They are nearly three times as likely to have a postgraduate degree. And while 12 percent of the overall sample in the study is African American, only 3 percent of progressive activists are. With the exception of the small tribe of devoted conservatives, progressive activists are the most racially homogeneous group in the country.

Antifa is the most perfect representation of this bratty population. They, more than any other group or individual, represent the heinous, obnoxious intentions of the New Left. As I have said before, their social justice warfare is inherently postmodern. Their war is against you.

But, there is a way out.

But, there is a way out.

I can assume that if you're listening to me now, you're already going to vote in a few weeks during mid-terms. That's a big one. The other thing you can do is stay informed. And remember that you are not alone, not by far.