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VOICE: It's time for another episode of everyone's favorite show, Know! Your! Czars!
GLENN: Yes, that's right. As I told you yesterday, the White House is very upset with me and the information that I've been giving out all week on the czars. They are not denying things like, you know, Van Jones' history as an admitted radical communist and the fact that he's never disavowed that. They're upset that we're calling him a czar. That's their complaint. I've shown the history of a guy who is literally founding revolutionary communist organizations around America and they don't like what I have been putting on his virtual business card. He's not a czar. He's a special advisor.
Yesterday the liberal blogs became very upset with this little old radio segment on the radio. Why? Shocking surprise: They had the exact same complaint as the White House. Yesterday in this segment I called Peter Orszag the budget czar. The budget czar. Weird how the White House and liberal blogs are worried about the same thing at exactly the same time. But at least they're consistent because I'm sure you can remember the outrage on the left when the Christian Science Monitor was calling him the budget czar. Or when CNN was calling him the budget czar. Or all of that incredible outrage from the left when Rachel Maddow called him the budget czar during an interview with the budget czar. Oh, and do you remember the picket lines on the left when Business Week was using the term budget czar under the Bush administration, or the left just hated it when Bush was treated unfairly. I think I've hit a new high point here. I can get attacked from the left even when I'm quoting Rachel Maddow. That is impressive.
Anyway, let's get to today's czar. He's the sort of guy who understands a really good meal although, you know, he can be a bit of a downer at a dinner party. You know, when you grill up a nice steak on the grill, when it's seasoned and sizzling just in that perfect way. And when you slowly place those grilled onions right on top. Yes?
STU: I have a guess.
STU: Is it Bobby Flay?
GLENN: No, it's not. Sorry, I don't think you guys understand what a czar is. Is it ‑‑ no? Even Rachel Maddow understands that. Anyway, you have this pile of perfectly sizzling steak smothered with grilled onions. You walk over to the table and set them down right there on the...
STU: Right. Is it Emeril Legasse?
GLENN: It's not time to ‑‑
GLENN: So you have this steak, you bring it to the table and this is where that czar is sitting during the dinner party. And he's likely to say something like this:
GLENN: Okay. In case you missed what he was saying there, and applauded for, was quoting our willingness to subject animals to unjustified suffering will be seen as a form of unconscionable barbarity, morally akin to slavery and the mass extermination of human beings. Can anybody pass the A‑1?
Okay. Do you know the name of the czar? Yes? Stu?
STU: Is it Paula Deen?
GLENN: Ooh, sorry, sorry. No, the name of the czar.
PAT: Chef Boyardee?
GLENN: Okay, no, it's not. Today's czar is Cass Sunstein, our fabulous regulatory czar. Will surely his comparison between your steak and the Holocaust couldn't possibly leak into his job writing just about every regulatory control we have on pretty much everything. But at least you'll know what's coming when you know your czars ‑‑ I'm sorry, sorry, when you ‑‑ when you know your special, special ‑‑ I got it, I got it. When you know your special advise‑czars.
VOICE: Ooh, sorry. Just like everyone who plays this game, you lose. But at least you'll die a little smarter just for listening to... Know! Your! Czars!
GLENN: By the way, do we have the Bill Maher audio from yesterday? You remember yesterday Bill Maher had just a burst of honesty from the left. He said that Obama should just force healthcare through, whether people wanted it or not because they were too stupid. Listen up.
Bill Maher calls Americans stupid on The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien
MAHER: But yeah, I mean, you know, they're talking about 60 votes. Forget this stuff, 60. They can't get Americans to agree on anything, 60%. 60% of people don't believe that evolution in this country. He just needs to drag them to it. Like I just said, they're stupid. Just drag them to this. Get healthcare done, you know, with or without them. Make the gang of six an offer they can't refuse. This Max Baucus guy, he needs to wake up tomorrow with an intern's head in his bed.
GLENN: Okay, stop. Whew. We're just too stupid to understand it. And then what we should do is we should make an offer the gang of six can't refuse. And if that's not mob enough for you, then we should just have somebody wake up with an intern's head in their bed.
Now, the clip from Rachel Maddow where she called the budget czar a budget czar, we were looking for this yesterday because the White House is upset with me, and the liberal media is upset with me for calling czars czars. The budget czar in particular has come up from the White House and now from the liberal press. Well, the budget czar, when she called him the budget czar, has another moment of honesty, although not quite as blunt. Listen up.
STU: Actually this is a transcript here, Glenn.
GLENN: We don't have the audio?
STU: There's no audio on this one.
GLENN: Okay, here it is. The brewing conservative attack on this new budget is that you're soaking the rich to pay for all of the spending, that sort of reverse class warfare, to pay for the spending and to pay for this sort of down payment on healthcare plans. What is your response to that both politically and as a budget czar? Orszag says, well, this is exactly what the president campaigned on: Soaking the rich to pay for all this. That's exactly what the president campaigned on. Again as we emerge from the recession, we are ‑‑ we need to get these deficits under control. That's going to require some shared sacrifice. Again this is fully consistent with what the president campaigned on. There's the budget czar, as Rachel Maddow called him, basically admitting that they ran their campaign on soaking the rich. Well, they ain't lying. They told all of us this was gonna happen before he was elected. They told us that they were going to fundamentally transform America, and they are. Now, we deserve the government that we get. Are we awake enough now to make new choices?