Arguing with Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds and Big Government
by Glenn Beck
GLENN: Oh, yes. That's right, it's the book where your idiot friend comes to you and says...
PAT: The other day you told me of the top 10 best selling cars of 2008, right?
PAT: None of them were hybrids.
GLENN: Yes, yes.
PAT: Okay. I was on a hybrid car website.
GLENN: You were on a what?
PAT: A hybrid car website. And they said when pickup trucks are removed from the 2008 list. This is a lot like your lie about Keith Olbermann. Keith Olbermann, when you talk about midgets who walk with a limp and are blind in one eye and don't listen to Fox, he's number one. Well, when you and you are always lying about you being number one. And
GLENN: But we are number one and
PAT: But this stop your lies.
GLENN: Okay, what is the
PAT: Just like the hybrid. When pickup trucks are removed from the 2008 list, the Toyota Prius ranked number 10.
GLENN: Wait a minute here.
GLENN: Hang on.
PAT: Is this too tough for you to follow? When pickup trucks are removed from the 2008 list, the Prius ranks number 10.
GLENN: Okay. So your counterargument is that if we just delete all of the pickup trucks, right?
PAT: Uh huh.
GLENN: Which would include the top two selling vehicles in America, then you squeak onto the list and finish tenth.
PAT: Well, yeah. And when gas prices were over four bucks a gallon, the Prius was number eight! How about that?
Evil Conservative Industries cares about conserving fuel - learn more...
GLENN: Well, that's
PAT: How about that?
GLENN: That's a great
PAT: Thank you.
GLENN: That's a great point.
PAT: About time.
GLENN: So when gas mileage was by far the biggest concern to people looking to buy an automobile, they still picked the Prius as their eighth favorite, their eighth favorite vehicle.
PAT: Is this funny to you, fatso?
GLENN: No, I just
GLENN: If you remove several of the other vehicles from the list, are you even trying to make a good argument here?
PAT: Please, Mr. Triple barbecue chin, you know you know what I like to call your quoting of sales figures from industry reports?
GLENN: No. You tell me.
PAT: Cherry picking! I noticed it's all about the Prius, right? Why not mention any other hybrid models? Why not? Why don't you mention it?
GLENN: Well, quite honestly because I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt and talk about only mildly successful hybrid models. For example, the Toyota Camry and the Honda Civic, they were the second and third best selling hybrids in 2008.
PAT: You see? I told you, told you.
GLENN: Let me finish. Their combined sales were less than half of the Prius.
PAT: I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?
GLENN: The Prius wasn't in the top ten, and the next two best selling hybrids combined didn't even equal half of the Prius.
PAT: Well, what if you multiply them?
GLENN: Excuse me?
PAT: If you multiply their sales by five or six, then it would be selling pretty good, right?
GLENN: Well, I guess, but you
PAT: (Laughing). You can't argue with the numbers, Glenn. Oh, the numbers are stubborn things. And you can't argue with hybridcars.com.
PAT: Who expose your lies about people liking hybrids. Even people on the rightwing war mongering side for example, I've got one here. Quote: One visitor of hybridcars.com wrote in 2005, "I am a tried and true Prius owner and my next vehicle will be another hybrid. I'll never go back to a full gasoline car! And, I am a conservative church attending Christian!"
GLENN: Hold it.
PAT: Who probably prays every day. I love Rush and I support George Bush.
GLENN: Hold on just a second. I need to break in and ask our producer, Steve Burguiere, is hybridcars.com an actual website?
STU: Yes, it is.
GLENN: And is this an I'm a tried and true Prius owner from 2005 and my next vehicle will be another hybrid; I'll never go back to a full gasoline engine; I'm a conservative church attending Christian, I love Rush Limbaugh and support George Bush.
STU: They called you out, Glenn.
PAT: See? Fatty Fat Fatso.
GLENN: So hang on just a second. Your evidence
PAT: They've got you. They've got you.
GLENN: Your evidence is one visitor from hybridcars.com?
GLENN: From 2005?
PAT: Well, he may have visited again, since.
GLENN: Right, sure.
PAT: But we don't know. And besides, don't try to hide your real agenda. Quote, quote: Beck's comments could be dismissed as populist rhetoric, although such anti hybrid viewpoints have resulted in acts of vandalism.
GLENN: Antihybrid viewpoints have?
PAT: Yes, they have. For example, quote: I'm told a Prius was set on fire in Los Angeles.
GLENN: Oh, my goodness.
PAT: Unquote. Which by the way was one of at least eight attacks in four months and, quote, anti Prius vandalism dates back to 2004 when there was a spat of Priuses being, quote, keyed, unquote, in Las Vegas.
GLENN: Wow. A car being lit on fire in Los Angeles.
GLENN: That's rare.
PAT: I know.
GLENN: And an increase in car keying, that's I mean, that's quite a case.
GLENN: that you're making there.
PAT: I told you. I told you.
GLENN: Did you happen to read the next sentence in the story?
PAT: No, sir, I did not.
GLENN: All right. Let me help you out. Quote: The most
PAT: You mock. That's all you've got. You mock.
GLENN: The most visible act of car related political vandalism occurred in 2003 when so called eco arsonists set blaze to 20 Hummer H2s valued in total at $3 million. What do you have to have, like three million hybrids to equal that? The Earth, the Earth Liberation Front, a radical fringe ecological group which claimed responsibility for the tax, end quote.
PAT: Okay, all right. Mr. Big oil, Exxon Valdez, coal in the lungs, black hearted, mania crazy person on a conspiratorial lunatic fringe!
PAT: And what?
GLENN: I mean, aren't you forgetting something? We're at the end.
PAT: Oh, yeah. And you're fat!
VOICE: Thanks for listening. Buy our book, Arguing With Idiots. Arguing With Idiots, available at bookstores everywhere Tuesday. Or order now at GlennBeck.com/bookczar.