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PAT: Yeah, is this the one world government heatmeister meisterburger burgermeister getting America all worked up again over president Obama coming to town to cheer the UN security council's climate summit.
GLENN: Yeah.
PAT: Ooh, scary!
GLENN: Yeah, it is.
PAT: The trilateral builder council on foreign Bohemian skull and bone owl worshipper society!
GLENN: Now, what is your ridiculous point this time?
PAT: My point is you're fat.
GLENN: Yes, I
PAT: But also, I happened to be in a bookstore yesterday and someone bumped into a rack of books and your silly, stupid, moronic book fellowship on the floor to Page 86.
GLENN: Right, right.
PAT: I didn't realize it was infected with your cooties until I picked it up and saw, get this, it's one of your arguments that ExxonMobil made $45.2 billion last year and you thought that was a good thing.
GLENN: Yeah.
PAT: It just shows we need to stop this madness of our dependence on oil and get this climate change bill they are working on done.
GLENN: Right, right. Well, $45 billion is a lot of money, you know.
PAT: I know, a lot. It's evil.
GLENN: If you would have continued to read that section, though, you might have learned some things about why and how they earn that money. Where it goes, what it does for the country. And on Page 88 you'd find that Exxon's profit margin was 9%. Now, I don't hear you yelling about big shampoo because Johnson & Johnson had a higher profit margin than big oil did.
PAT: Oh, big deal. One company. That's all you got? Plus, I can avoid that company, and I do, by just washing my hair with bean curd.
GLENN: Sorry?
 Arguing with Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds and Big Government by Glenn Beck |
PAT: Yeah, it's all natural bean curd. Works really well, leaves my hair very manageable and soft and silky smooth.
GLENN: There also is Microsoft, Apple, Google, Coke, Nike, all ahead of Exxon in the profit margin. In fact, big oil ranked 56 on the profit margin list.
PAT: Oh, like your terrible, bad, stupid, horrible, horribleness TV show? 56th?
GLENN: No, that's number one in its time slot.
PAT: Not if you count only midgets who walk with a limp, are blind in one eye, have swine flu and don't have cable TV. I got you on that one. That's great. Fatso fatness, fat man!
GLENN: You know, I was talking to Pat yesterday and I said, I think we should use Yoda on all of the whole hate thing. You know what I mean? Whenever you hear people talking about the hate thing?
PAT: Let go of your hate you should, hmmm? Yes. Only then a Jedi will you be. Hmmm?
GLENN: So I'm thinking that maybe President Obama, whenever he gives you know, whenever let's say he's meeting with some hate monger, some he's meeting with Jimmy Carter. He just says, hey, Jimmy, I just want you to watch, I just want you to watch this little guy right now.
PAT: Let go of your hate, Jimmy. Only then a Jedi will you be, hmmm? Yes. Yes. Let go of your anger. Let go of your hate, yes? Yes?
STU: Wait, those last two were like normal sentences. He didn't have anything reversed.
PAT: Oh, wow.
STU: What's going on?
GLENN: When Jimmy says, I've been a peanut butter my whole life
[ OVERLAPPING SPEAKERS ]
GLENN: That's the only thing good came out of my administration was Yoda. It wasn't in your administration. 1977, close enough.
STU: That dyslexia for Yoda when he starts speaking normally?
PAT: Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
STU: Might be. I don't know.