Arguing with Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds and Big Government
by Glenn Beck
GLENN: All righty. When your friend says something like this...
PAT: I just can't wait to see Michael Moore's new movie about the evils of capital I am.
GLENN: Oh, yeah.
PAT: You know what? His last movie proved once and for all how bad our healthcare system is.
GLENN: Yes, yes.
PAT: For example, Mr. Tub of tubbiness, why is our life expectancy lower than other countries around the world, hmmm?
GLENN: That is a great point.
PAT: I know. That's why I made it.
GLENN: Consider this. Location A has a life expectancy of 78.7 years, and location B as a life expectancy of 75.8 years. So you could reasonably assume that location A has a better overall healthcare system, right?
PAT: Yes, exactly. Finally you're getting it. But one with a higher life expectancy obviously has universal healthcare, right?
GLENN: Ooh. No, sorry, sorry. If you looked at Page 253 of Arguing With Idiots, you'd learn that location A is actually Utah and location B is Nevada. Two states that share a border with nearly identical healthcare systems. Neither with universal government healthcare. And their difference in life expectancy is larger than the difference between the U.S. and other countries that you're complaining about.
PAT: Oh, you are just trying to change the subject.
GLENN: You mean by changing it from life expectancy to life expectancy?
PAT: Just shut up and let me finish. Stop trying to shout me down and shut me up.
GLENN: I'm really not
PAT: And cut me off all the time.
GLENN: I'm not. I
PAT: Let me get a word in edge wise.
GLENN: All right, go ahead.
PAT: If it's not the healthcare system, what is it, smarty fatty pants?
GLENN: Well, for example, Americans have a really big country that they live in with those really long roads. So we drive our cars much more than other people in other countries. That means we have more car accidents.
GLENN: And our homicide rates are higher than any of the other countries as well.
PAT: What does this have to do with anything?
GLENN: Well, if you take out the accidents and the murders, things that have nothing to do with the quality of our healthcare, guess where the U.S. comes in on the life expectancy chart?
PAT: Number one million?
GLENN: Well, you were close. Number one.
PAT: Excuse me?
GLENN: So unless countries like
PAT: What number is it again?
GLENN: One. So unless countries like France have somehow developed a way to unslash the neck of a murder victim or detelephone pole a car after an accident, you kind of just lost Mr. Idiot.
PAT: Well, they haven't figured out any of that yet because they have been working on how to stop you from eating their entire populations! Populations, eating them!
GLENN: Sorry, I missed that.
VOICE: Arguing with Idiots, available at bookstores everywhere or order now at GlennBeck.com/bookczar.