Related Story: White House's botched 'op'
GLENN: Hey, by the way and he is, too. By the way, I don't know about you, but whenever I see a doctor going to the White House and wearing a white jacket, I think, credible doctor.
PAT: Wasn't that an incredible grassroots movement yesterday?
GLENN: It was not Astroturf.
PAT: 150 doctors just showed up in white lab coats.
GLENN: All showed up in their lab coats. That is so
PAT: Ready to support the healthcare reform.
GLENN: I have never seen anything like that. I have never seen
PAT: Me, either.
GLENN: Usually you see your doctor and sometimes he's wearing a white coat, sometimes he's not. You know what I mean?
PAT: A lot of times he's not.
STU: He is not a real doctor if he's not.
PAT: He just plays that on TV.
GLENN: I've learned that on Cialis commercials and stuff.
GLENN: You know the ones where they are not taking a bath in a tub out in the middle of
STU: Two separate tubs.
GLENN: And that's really what how about you get in the tub with her and maybe something will happen. You know what I'm saying?
PAT: Who doesn't have two separate tubs outside their case in case something romantic happens?
GLENN: Outside the house, with no plumbing. With no plumbing whatsoever. Oh, that so yesterday we had 150 doctors just show up. Of course, they didn't have their white jackets.
GLENN: No, they didn't, no.
PAT: They didn't show up in their white jackets?
GLENN: No. We happen to have photos of the White House passing out white jackets.
PAT: Just in case 150 doctors showed up?
GLENN: Just in case.
PAT: And they forgot their white lab coats.
GLENN: Their white lab coats.
PAT: They were handed white lab coats? That is really advantageous.
STU: It is October. It's dress up time.
PAT: Almost Halloween.
GLENN: Oh, maybe that's what it is.
STU: Trick or treat. Trick on this one.
PAT: Were they given stethoscopes to hang around their necks, too, so we knew for a fact they're doctors?
STU: Well, do you of course you guys remember the movie Spies Like Us, a documentary about the Russian, the Cold War, and Dan
PAT: Was it a documentary?
STU: Yes, it was. Dan Akroyd and Chevy Chase, and they posed as doctors in a tent and tried to give natives appendix surgery, I believe it was, and they put on white coats but shockingly enough were not instantly able to do appendix surgery.
PAT: You're kidding.
STU: And I think there's a lesson to be learned here.
PAT: There always is.
STU: There always is.
PAT: From a movie starring those two.
STU: They had to, first of all recall the nuclear missile once you launch it at your own country. Always do that because you'll prevent the nuclear war. And secondly, only wear a white coat when you're a doctor. That's what turns you into a doctor. Why don't these people learn?
PAT: The eight years of med school is not the key.
STU: No, it's got nothing to do with it. It's are you wearing a white coat.
PAT: White lab coat, okay.
GLENN: Can I tell you something? I performed well, I tried to perform brain surgery in Times Square the other day. And somebody came up to me and they said, I have a headache. And I said, I have a scalpel and a white coat; hang on, let me perform brain surgery. And just as I was about to put the scalpel into her head, I saw a camera and I realized, wait a minute, I might get in trouble.
PAT: I can't do anything I want?
GLENN: I can't do anything I want, wherever I am.
PAT: Good thing, thank you, Mayor Bloomberg.
GLENN: Thank you, Mayor Bloomberg. Saved this poor little girl from getting a scalpel in the head by a qualified doctor, me, because I was wearing the lab coat. But I shouldn't have done I should have done it in a sanitary condition. So I went, I went to the sanitary station here down by the river. It just says sanitation, and I thought, you know what? Very sanitary.
PAT: Must be sanitary.
GLENN: And I put together a little place there by the trucks. They have these big, big ambulances that kind of have this little kind of scoopy bed in the back, I guess. I haven't seen them. Gigantic ambulances and it's fantastic. So I put her in the back of one of these ambulances and I, you know, I wanted to make sure everything was clean. So I lined it up with sanitary napkins and I cut her open and she didn't have a headache anymore. She hasn't come out of her sleep that she's been in now, but
PAT: Sometimes it takes a while.
GLENN: It does?
PAT: I'd wait another little while.
GLENN: A little while?
PAT: And see what happens, yeah.
STU: Well, she probably won't come out of it until you put on a white coat again. You are going to need to put on a white coat.
GLENN: Well, the ambulance took her away and I'm not sure where they put her, but there's this big ambulance, they have the scooper thing and just kind of like pushed her down into, like, a nice I don't know what's inside that ambulance.
STU: Is that a medical procedure or is that a
GLENN: Don't know, don't know. Well, I would talk to you about it but it's so complex. It's so complex, this medical situation.
PAT: We wouldn't understand it probably.
GLENN: You wouldn't, you wouldn't. You are not smart enough to understand. And besides, you know, you guys might be used to do kind of doctors that just rip off people's tonsils or their cut their feet off.
PAT: I was that's what I see all the time.
STU: For profit?
GLENN: For profit. I did this to the nor profit.
STU: Oh, wow.
PAT: That was some gratis work? It was charitable?
GLENN: It was charitable, charitable.
PAT: That's fantastic. Never let it be said right.
GLENN: I could do more but Bloomberg is putting more cameras up everywhere and I think he's just stopping people from doing surgery because I've heard, you know, yesterday we played the audio of the guy who was saying millions of people, because of no healthcare, millions of people, Americans are dying on our streets and
STU: Well, that's the Holocaust.
GLENN: That is the American medical Holocaust that's been happening.
PAT: That accounts for all the dead on the streets of Manhattan every day.
GLENN: Don't you hate people
GLENN: Who are just using their demagoguery to not stop the Holocaust that's happening in the American Medical Center?
PAT: No, I like it when people kick at old school demagogue.
GLENN: Really? Do you?
PAT: I like the old school demagoguery.
GLENN: Even if that old school demagoguery stops the medical Holocaust that's happening where millions are dying in the streets?
PAT: Even then, even then. Beck really?
PAT: As long as it's old school and you are really kicking at old school?
GLENN: Like what's old school demagoguery?
PAT: Well, let's say the Rwandan thing or Pol Pot.
GLENN: Okay, how about this. If we don't pass the healthcare package right now.
GLENN: There will be a plague of locusts and/or frogs.
STU: That's old school.
PAT: That's old school demagoguery. That's old school, yeah. That's way old school.
GLENN: Way old school.
PAT: Seriously you can guarantee a plague
GLENN: Boils, frogs, locusts.
PAT: Wow. You can have the water, like the Hudson?
GLENN: Runs like blood. That's already happened if you've been anywhere near the Hudson.
PAT: We're there.
GLENN: We're there on that one.
STU: If you are downstream from Secaucus, yes. That's not a positive
GLENN: So look for the boils or the flies.
STU: Anything pleading of its own accord. I've been looking for something bleeding of its own accord.
GLENN: No, no, uh uh.
STU: No? Really?
GLENN: No. That may be coming but I don't know that. That particular bleeding
STU: That would be demagoguery if you said that.
GLENN: That would be over the top. That would be over the top and it's
STU: First born dying, any of that?
GLENN: Sure, that's going to happen. That's already happening.
GLENN: And that's not demagoguery. That's just truth. How can we allow these millions of firstborn children to be dying in the streets of the richest country in the world?
PAT: Now, the second born are not dying?
STU: No, they're fine.
GLENN: No, they're fine. Secondborn are good.
PAT: Third, fourth?
GLENN: Just plan on your firstborn dying.
PAT: And that's because of the healthcare, the failed healthcare system.
GLENN: May I recommend? May I recommend?
PAT: Please do.
GLENN: That you go and get some sort of medical treatment to make sure that you have more than that every child you have is at least a twin. Because the first one will die.
STU: Well, this is why it's good to be Jon and Kate plus 8 because then you have 7.
GLENN: And don't cuddle up to the first one. Just kind of shun the first one. Don't even name them. You don't want to get I learned this from my grandfather's farm. You don't name chickens.
PAT: You don't?
GLENN: Because you end up eating them. Not that we're going to end up eating our firstborn until 2030.
PAT: Unless, right, when the Ted Turner factor kicks in.
GLENN: Yes. Then global warming will be so bad. And see these demagogues that just, these flat earther demagogues that are trying to stop us from fixing the Earth. So Ted Turner, his prediction of cannibalism by 2030 doesn't come true.
STU: Yeah. And the truth is it's
GLENN: Can you believe those demagogues who try to stop that? Do they want the do they want the millions dead in the Holocaust of the healthcare system and the cannibalism that will come because of global warming? Do they want that?
PAT: But that's new school demagoguery.
GLENN: That's not demagoguery. That's just truth.
PAT: It is truth.
GLENN: It's truth.
STU: Just remember if the you are going to have a child, of course, the first one's going to die and you are going to need to save it until 2030 when cannibalism happens, you've got to get a freezer out in the garage is a good place to put it because it's not going to be in the way, you are going to be able to keep all your normal foods there but you don't want to start eating children until 2030 at least according to Ted Turner.
GLENN: I would fatten them up. I'd take that firstborn and I'd fatten them up.
PAT: I'd like to do it freezer free because then you are not harming the environment even further and maybe pushing up the date from 2030 to, say, 2022 should be in there.
STU: It's going to be more fresh, if you think about it that way, it's going to be more fresh. There's not going to be any vegetables to season. It's all going to be long gone
GLENN: You are right.
STU: Because of the demagoguery.
GLENN: Hang on just a second. Hang on, hang on. Let's all just weep with Nancy Pelosi for a second.