GLENN: Oh, we're getting there. Did you see where they do we have the audio of Al Gore and the whole
PAT: And the whole thing?
GLENN: Yeah. Let me play just a little bit of Al Gore. Now, remember this is in a room full of journalists, okay? This isn't like, yeah, well, I just buy my ticket because I just love Al Gore. This is journalists that he's speaking to and asking questions of. Here you go.
VOICE: Judge in the British high court after a lengthy hearing find there were nine significant errors. This has been shown to children, have you do you accept this
GLENN: Hold on just a second. Hold on just a second. Don't you think that English and Irishmen can just say anything and it's just so charming?
STU: And smart, too. It always sounds very smart.
GLENN: Well, no, the Irish don't sound smart.
STU: I disagree.
GLENN: No. English sound smart. Irish are just charming. It's like
STU: Yeah, the Lucky Charms guy doesn't sound smart.
GLENN: No, he doesn't.
STU: He does know where the lucky are but
GLENN: No, he doesn't know where they are: What have you done with my Lucky Charms, who's stealing my Lucky Charms. He doesn't even know what happened to his Lucky Charms.
STU: Is that how it goes?
STU: Isn't that the Hamburglar? I think it
GLENN: I don't know. They may be related. I don't know.
PAT: Either that or the bunny with the Trix bunny.
GLENN: Trix are for kids.
STU: That guy's just crazy.
GLENN: Get your hands off me Lucky Charms, that's what he says, I think.
STU: Is that I don't think he says that at all.
GLENN: I remember those cereal commercials now apparently being very violent. Get your hands off me Lucky Charms before I chop them off!
STU: It's not a serial coup. It was a charming commercial.
GLENN: It's cereal, man. Relax! It's a stale marshmallow. That's all it is. So they're not smart per se or don't sound smart. They just sound charming.
STU: They are always after me Lucky Charms.
GLENN: And they're paranoid.
STU: It's more of a black helicopter thing.
GLENN: No, they are. We're going to listen now to a guy who thinks that they're always after his breakfast cereal. Of course that's what Al Gore should have said to this guy. Really? Yeah. You come from a country where everybody thinks they're after your breakfast serial all the time when you can buy plenty at the store.
STU: That actually is better than the argument he came up with.
GLENN: It is.
STU: It is.
GLENN: Okay, go ahead. Here's the question.
VOICE: Judge in the British high court after a lengthy hearing find there were nine significant errors. This has been shown to children. Do you accept those findings and have you done anything to correct those errors?
GORE: Well, I'm not going to go through all of those. The ruling was in favor of the movie, by the way, and the ruling was in favor of showing the movie in schools and
GLENN: Can we stop for a second? Can we stop for a second? Hang on. Stu, didn't we talk to Lord Butterwick or whatever the hell his name was?
STU: Monckton, Lord Monckton.
PAT: Lord Butterwick was very close to Monckton, though.
GLENN: Yeah. Did we talk to him? He was the guy who did this lawsuit.
GLENN: Didn't they pull this movie from the schools?
STU: I believe that I I'm testing my memory here.
PAT: That was my understanding, too.
STU: What I remember of it is they had to either not show or correct those nine things.
STU: What I believe, they had to there's supplemental material that had to go along with it or something.
PAT: When he says, it was in favor of the movie, by the way, I mean, that's not accurate, is it?
STU: No, I don't no, I would say that's not accurate.
GLENN: That was a pretty good imitation of him.
STU: That was better than I thought you could do.
GLENN: Go ahead.
PAT: What? I'm actually receiving praise from the two of you? I shan't be doing it anymore.
STU: It's an expectations game, Pat.
PAT: Now the expectations are higher and now I'm not going to do it. So, yeah.
STU: Because we know you do a great Yoda and we know you do a great Arlen Specter and then occasionally you'll jump into one that we think is going to be really good and then it's not there.
PAT: See, now you think it's going to be good. So
GLENN: Okay, tell me, how would Yoda have answered this question?
PAT: What was the question again?
GLENN: The question is the courts in England said that there were nine factual errors, and there were pretty big errors.
PAT: Errors there were not. Ask me this you won't anymore, yes?
GLENN: Is this a Jedi mind trick?
PAT: Believe my movie you do, yes, yes. Afraid you will be if ask me again you do, hmmm? Yes? Yes. I think that's what
GLENN: That's when I look at him and go, your Jedi mind trick doesn't work on me.
PAT: It would work on Al Gore, please.
GLENN: All right. So anyway, so here's Al Gore. He goes off on some answer that doesn't make any sense. Go ahead.
GORE: The ruling was in favor of the movie, by the way. The ruling was in favor of showing the movie in schools and that's really the bottom line on that. There's been such a long discussion of each one of those specific things. One of them, for example, was that polar bears, if I remember correctly, it's been a long time ago were that polar bears really aren't endangered. Well, polar bears didn't get that word. So
GLENN: Stop, stop, stop. Polar bears?
STU: Yeah, his defense is just to make a joke and not address the actual clip.
PAT: This is unbelievable.
GLENN: That is what the White House is doing right now! That's what they are doing to Fox News! That's what's happening! This is the way they do it. They make it into a joke. They don't actually say anything. And then they smear. And then when that doesn't work, they just shut you down. Oh, let's see if he does all of those things.
VOICE: Well, the number of polar bears have increased actually.
GORE: You don't think they're endangered, do you?
GLENN: Stop, stop.
PAT: The answer to that is no.
GLENN: It doesn't matter!
PAT: But the answer is, no, they are not endangered.
GLENN: They're not endangered. The number has increased.
PAT: Five times.
STU: Five times.
GLENN: So now he's saying, well, you don't think it is? It doesn't matter what I think it is. Let's stick to the facts.
STU: Right. I mean, you know, it's such a he just keeps pointing out here that they have gone literally from 5,000 to 25,000. It's gone the opposite direction in the last 35, 40 years?
PAT: Something like that.
GLENN: You know what's in danger is if you protect the little polar bear anymore, the little baby seals that you won't let me club
PAT: Are all going to be eaten.
GLENN: All going to be eaten. I swear to you you have to do this to if you have small children, you must start the indoctrination early.
STU: This is not good advice.
GLENN: This is great advice. I give my kids, I give my kids a baby seal hug every night and then they come up to me and then they put their arms around me and they slap my shoulders and they go, rrrrrrr, and then I whisper in their ear, who eats baby seals? And then they say, polar bears. And then I go rrrr, and then I wrestle them to the ground. I want them to know from birth, polar bears eat cute cuddly baby seals. They're bears. It's fantastic. Start the indoctrination early because the other side is. All right, go ahead.
GORE: You don't think they are endangered, do you? Do you think they are endangered?
VOICE: The number of polar bears have increased. If the number of polar bears increase, surely they are not endangered. A judge did a lengthy hearing
VOICE: We have to move on.
VOICE: No, I mean Vice President Gore hasn't, vice president
VOICE: We're not doing a debate here.
VOICE: No, answer the question. He hasn't answered the question.
VOICE: We have 10 minutes left for these people.
VOICE: I would appreciate his answer to the
PAT: Then they cut his mic off, yeah.
GLENN: Then they cut his mic. Now, there was no one in a sea of journalists that stood up and said, excuse me, he didn't answer the question. Answer the question and then we can move on. How is it these journalists can sit here, laugh when somebody says, can you imagine if I said, if I said, you know, progressives are an endangered species. No, there seems to be more and more progressives every day. So you think the progressives are an endangered species? No, I really don't. (Laughing). Who would sit there, who would sit there until the audience and say, no, wait a minute, hang on just a second. Do you have any evidence? Do you have any evidence that progressives are endangered species? Do you have any evidence that what you're saying is true?
STU: You notice he doesn't at any point say that the polar bears have not increased in their population five times.
GLENN: Right. Nowhere does he state any fact.
STU: No. He just makes a joke and then tries to shut the guy up, try to make him look like an idiot when he won't even address the fact what the guy's saying which is that there's been a large increase in the polar bears. Remember, too, that even if all this stuff were to happen, far more polar bears die because of hunting and eating polar bears is somewhat common in certain regions. These things, if you wanted to protect polar bears, you could address that side of it if you wanted to. But, of course
GLENN: I want to go on a polar bear hunt.
STU: That still occurs.
GLENN: I want to go on one.
STU: You could do it.
GLENN: I want to go on one.
PAT: If you are Indian, you could do that.
GLENN: I want a blood transfusion.
PAT: Get a little Inuit blood in you?
GLENN: Yes. Is that possible?
STU: I'm sure it is possible.
GLENN: I mean, I don't think that technically changes me on the census but I'm willing to give it a whirl.
STU: Well, we haven't started with government healthcare yet. So that's probably still possible.
PAT: In addition to hunting polar bears, you may also receive a casino. So it might have a dual purpose. It might be good.
STU: Might. Although the casino would be in Northern Alaska and that's not well attended.
STU: By the way, Glenn, the specifics here on what they have to do. Gore is right. They still can show the movie in classes. But they have to do the teachers have to do three things. Number one, announce that the film is a political work and promotes only one side of the argument.
PAT: It's in favor of the movie.
STU: Pretty good. I stand by it.
GLENN: No, it was better left alone the first time.
PAT: They are killing the planet.
GLENN: The memory of the first impression is so much better than the actual impression.
PAT: I knew that's where we'd go. So why do I try. Why do I try.
STU: I'm with you, Pat. I still support you.
PAT: Thank you, Stu. Stu.
STU: Number two, if teachers present the film without making this plain, they may be in breach of Section 406 of the Education Act of 1996 and guilty of political indoctrination.
STU: Number 3...
GLENN: Listen to that. Listen to that.
PAT: In favor of the movie?
GLENN: This in favor... they are all in favor of the movie.
GLENN: It's a political film that only shows one side and if you show it without making that announcement, you are guilty of indoctrination.
STU: Yet even when you know that it's only showing one side of the argument and it's a political movie and you are guilty of political indoctrination of children if you don't say that, you still, in addition to that, have to do number three, which is 11 inaccuracies have to be specifically drawn to the attention of the schoolchildren.
PAT: Oh, it's not nine? It's eleven?
STU: It's eleven apparently.
GLENN: See, this guy who asked the question, he only said I think nine.
PAT: Yeah, he did.
GLENN: So smearing Al Gore with saying that there's nine when there's actually eleven. Why should we listen to this guy at all or any of his smear questions?
STU: Maybe it's been updated. Maybe two of them turned correct in the last couple of years.
GLENN: I don't think so.
PAT: I don't think so.
GLENN: Because it was global warming.
STU: I think he started at nine and went to eleven, in fact.
GLENN: Global warming, and it's awfully darn chilling lately.
PAT: I love the BBC story, though, where they are talking about where is all the global warming, what on Earth is going on. And then the next line is the next two lines: Climate change skeptics who passionately and consistently argue that man's influence on our climate is overstated say they saw it coming. They argue that there are natural cycles over which we have no control that dictate how warm the planet is, right? Here's the next sentence: But what's the evidence for this?
GLENN: I don't know, the ice age?
PAT: What's the evidence? I don't know. Do we have history books? Do we have science from the foundation of the world's I mean, supposedly all the way up until today?
STU: Yeah. There's certainly evidence that that occurs.
PAT: Isn't there evidence that there's ice ages?
STU: Eleven ice ages in the last, what, 700,000 years?
GLENN: That is because you are forgetting that every once in a while there is a naturally occurring umbrella that lodges itself in between the Earth and the sun.
STU: There is?
PAT: I didn't
GLENN: But then when primordial man came out of the soup of lizard stock
PAT: Six billion years ago.
GLENN: He went and he was like, that's a nice umbrella; I'd sure like that. And he reached up and he took it, and he broke it.
PAT: Oh, boy.
STU: Wait, who did this?
GLENN: Slimy man.
PAT: Before he even cleaned off?
GLENN: Before he was even cleaned off, he was like, what's that? That looks like a nice umbrella, and then broke it.
PAT: Was he a man at this point?
PAT: He was just man?
GLENN: He was slime man. He was still a little slimy and I think he may have had one fish foot and one lizard arm.
STU: Was he still slithering like a slithering sort of motion?
GLENN: He grabbed it good question.
STU: Thank you.
GLENN: He grabbed it not with his arm, his lizard arm.
GLENN: But instead he grabbed it with his snake like tongue. And he was just like, gee, that looks like... sssssunny up there and he and the tongue went out, grabbed the umbrella.
PAT: That's good tongue sound effect.
GLENN: That is, isn't it?
PAT: That is. That's good tongue sound effect.
GLENN: I always wanted to work for Hanna Barbera. When I was a kid I was like
STU: I'm going to have to say, Pat, but I think the tongue sound effect
PAT: A little better than the Al Gore, I have to admit it. Solid.
STU: That's what the liberal media won't teach you, that a tongue and the umbrella
GLENN: And they don't want to teach you that. They will say the tongue sound effect discussion is over. And then it just right into something else, some sort of propaganda, like Goldline.