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Glenn Beck: Tiger Woods, just another dirtbag

December 02, 2009
 Radio Clips

The Glenn Beck Program



Glenn Beck is seen here on the Insider Webcam, an exclusive feature available only to Glenn Beck Insiders. Learn more...

GLENN: Do you have the audio of

PAT: The voice mail?

GLENN: The voice mail?

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: Yeah.

PAT: Tiger's voice mail to some girl?

GLENN: Yeah.

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: Here it is.

TIGER: Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you

PAT: This, by the way, is real. This isn't some faky voice. This is Tiger Woods.

GLENN: Now you've just wrecked the mood. Can you start it over again, please?

TIGER: Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor.

GLENN: Huge.

TIGER: Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that.

GLENN: Okay.

TIGER: And just have it as a number on the voice mail, okay? You've got to do this for me.

GLENN: My wife may be calling you. Okay. So there's so many things to go off of here. First of all, what? What?

PAT: Jamie keeps showing up on your voice mail Tiger. Is that a problem? I mean, should I call this? "Well, that's my that's the launderer. That's where I do my dry cleaning."

GLENN: Hang on just a second. If a Jamie was showing up on your voice mail, okay? First of all, does your wife look at your phone? To see who you are calling?

PAT: Pretty rare, no.

GLENN: And if she does, it's just because she's using your phone and she'll look at it. And if she was using your phone and she looked at all those Jamies on there, she would say, who's Jamie, Pat?

STU: Why are you calling Jamie at 3:00 in the morning for 17 consecutive days?

GLENN: Okay, no, but hang on just a second. If she just saw Jamie on it.

STU: Just Jamie.

GLENN: Would she say, who's Jamie?

PAT: Yeah, she would say, who's Jamie.

GLENN: And then you would say, oh, she's somebody.

PAT: Somebody at work.

GLENN: Yeah, somebody at work. Would she then say, "Really? I may call Jamie." Would she?

PAT: If she said

GLENN: In your case you, your wife, as Pat?

PAT: No.

GLENN: No, she wouldn't.

PAT: She has no reason to well, if there was something going on, she would sense it.

GLENN: Yes, yes!

PAT: In a second.

GLENN: Yes. That's my point.

PAT: And probably all women do.

GLENN: Every woman has that. That's my point. If you say who's Jamie and you go, oh, it's just somebody I work with. Oh, okay. And then she moves on. You don't get you don't make the call to Jamie and say, hey, by the way, my wife may be calling. Your wife isn't calling unless she inspects you're a dirt bag.

STU: Oh, and you know she inspects it at this point.

PAT: And that's a panic because he works with a caddy and she knows, she knows he's not Jamie.

GLENN: Who's Jamie? The one that's polishing my clubs.

STU: Nice work.

GLENN: Thank you. I could go on. Please don't.

STU: You don't need to. Why would you

GLENN: Why? We don't have to. You make your own jokes from there.

PAT: I thought we were back in time there for a second, 1992. Good morning, everybody. Got the clubs jokes coming up this morning.

GLENN: This was the first one I heard. My friend in Dubai wrote this to me this morning. Okay? What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They both get clubbed by a Scandinavian.

STU: Thank you, Pat.

GLENN: He's in Dubai. What? I mean, that's the first Tiger Woods joke I heard.

STU: This is the beginning of a long process of Tiger Woods jokes.

GLENN: Tiger's been dropped from the rider's cup team as his terrible pattern of being beaten by Europeans continues.

PAT: You know, he's got $100 million in sponsorships at stake here.

GLENN: What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?

PAT: What?

GLENN: Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

STU: I mean, can we stop this? Is there a way to stop it?

GLENN: Yes.

STU: Thank you.

GLENN: Yes, here's a way to stop it. Admit you're a dirt bag and then move on.

STU: Well, it's one of it's so disappointing. Like you know when the Sanford stuff was going on, I just, you get disappointed. You almost get embarrassed for our group or like, you know, I get almost embarrassed for conservatives. It's like, what are you doing. And you know it has nothing to do with conservatives. But it's the same thing like when this happened with Tiger, men are pathetic. This guy's got a supermodel and a billion dollars and he can't entertain himself with it? It's like, Lord God, all you have to do is stay out of the papers and you have this unbelievable reputation to protect.

GLENN: To me this just shows how beauty, fame and wealth ain't all it's cracked up to be.

PAT: (Laughing).

GLENN: See, you thought I was serious on that. What, are you crazy? You're sleeping with her? On your yacht? And you've got a Gulfstream? What? Are you crazy? (Laughing).

Glenn Beck: 'I DON'T recognize my country anymore'

Glenn Beck has been warning since last summer that you would not recognize your country in a year. Well, it's not even summer yet, and he says he already doesn't recognize the country.

Do you recognize an America in which people are making more money off government unemployment benefits than they can make by working, inflation is ramping up, housing, supply and labor shortages are widespread, and the current administration gives cybercriminals from Russia a free pass after the biggest cyberattack on our nation's infrastructure to date?

On the radio program this week, Glenn pointed out that while businesses all over the nation are downsizing, one brand store is actually booming — and it says a lot about the state of the economy and what it means for our country's future.

Watch the video clip below to hear more from Glenn:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Glenn Beck: Cyberattack on US pipeline points to 'Axis powers' of a 'digital World War III'

The largest American gas pipeline shut down on Friday due to what experts told the media was the "most dramatic cyberattack on U.S. soil to date." Investigators are looking at a group believed to be based in Russia known as "DarkSide."

It's time our leaders in the White House take national security seriously because this isn't the first time enemies of the U.S. — namely Russia and China — have used the cyber world to attack our nation and weaken our infrastructure, Glenn Beck argued on the radio program. Between Russia, China, and Iran — which President Joe Biden is now trying to make another nuclear deal with — it looks like the "Axis powers" of a "digital World War III" are lining up

"The journalists seem to care about the price of gasoline for the first time. Is it because they actually care? Or is it because they're trying not to focus on the fact that this was an attack most likely from Russia? And it isn't the first cyberattack from Russia of the year ... maybe we should be paying attention, to Vladimir Putin," Glenn began.

"And by the way, the pipeline going down, that's not the only [cyberattack] happening now," he added later. "Thirty thousand U.S. victims, small businesses and local governments, were hacked by cyber espionage units backed by the Chinese government in January of this year."

"There is an 'Axis power.' It is Russia and China. And, by the way, who is also aligned with Russia and China? Iran. Wow, this is weird," Glenn surmised. "But don't worry about that. Just leave your dog tags on another table. Let's not talk about China. Let's not talk about who actually crashed the jugular of our oil pipelines. I don't want war. But I got news for you ... this Biden administration is doing the job for our enemies."

Watch the video below to hear more from Glenn:


Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

'It's a death by a thousand cuts': Jordan Peterson on why staying silent is WORSE than facing the woke mob

Image source: Video screenshot

Canadian clinical psychologist, author, and cultural firebrand Jordan Peterson is no stranger to cancel culture. Ever since he was thrust into the culture war, he has faced one controversy after another, stirred up by the woke elites who hate him with a passion. But although they have tried to make him pay for speaking out so fearlessly against their message, he refuses to back down and he believes you should, too. He joined "The Glenn Beck Podcast" this week to explain why.

"There is a growth of the reluctant hero in all stories ... so many people think that they don't have what it takes, that they're not the hero," Glenn said to Peterson. "How do you get people to recognize and then have the courage to stand? You've taken a beating ... why is it worth it and how do you get there?"

"I think it's worth it because I believe the alternative is worse ... to stay silent when you have something to say," Peterson replied. "You don't know what it is within you that requires your voice, right, because you feel like 'I have something to say.' Where does that come from exactly, that feeling that you have something to say?

"Maybe you're disgruntled at work and you're choking on your own bile because the situation is not just in your estimation," he continued. "You're dying to say something, but you won't. Well, you'll die if you don't say it. Maybe it's a death by a thousand cuts. I don't like deferred punishment. I'd rather take it now and keep the future clean, which is why I encourage people to have the fights now, not to hide things in the fog for later. They grow and metastasize. It's better to confront what you need to confront when it's small and you have some possibility of victory."

Watch the video clip below to catch more of the conversation, or find the full podcast with Jordan Peterson here:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Bank of America warns of HYPERINFLATION 'at the very LEAST'

Top officials at the Federal Reserve are doing what they can to sugar coat what's ahead for our economy, telling Americans we may hit a "transitory" period of inflation that will settle by 2022. But Bank of America is saying something different. The bank's latest earnings call commentary warned "at the very least" transitory hyperinflation is ahead.

Watch the video clip below to hear Glenn Beck explain what this means for prices and for our economy.

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.