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Glenn Beck: Tiger Woods, just another dirtbag

December 02, 2009
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The Glenn Beck Program



Glenn Beck is seen here on the Insider Webcam, an exclusive feature available only to Glenn Beck Insiders. Learn more...

GLENN: Do you have the audio of

PAT: The voice mail?

GLENN: The voice mail?

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: Yeah.

PAT: Tiger's voice mail to some girl?

GLENN: Yeah.

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: Here it is.

TIGER: Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you

PAT: This, by the way, is real. This isn't some faky voice. This is Tiger Woods.

GLENN: Now you've just wrecked the mood. Can you start it over again, please?

TIGER: Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor.

GLENN: Huge.

TIGER: Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that.

GLENN: Okay.

TIGER: And just have it as a number on the voice mail, okay? You've got to do this for me.

GLENN: My wife may be calling you. Okay. So there's so many things to go off of here. First of all, what? What?

PAT: Jamie keeps showing up on your voice mail Tiger. Is that a problem? I mean, should I call this? "Well, that's my that's the launderer. That's where I do my dry cleaning."

GLENN: Hang on just a second. If a Jamie was showing up on your voice mail, okay? First of all, does your wife look at your phone? To see who you are calling?

PAT: Pretty rare, no.

GLENN: And if she does, it's just because she's using your phone and she'll look at it. And if she was using your phone and she looked at all those Jamies on there, she would say, who's Jamie, Pat?

STU: Why are you calling Jamie at 3:00 in the morning for 17 consecutive days?

GLENN: Okay, no, but hang on just a second. If she just saw Jamie on it.

STU: Just Jamie.

GLENN: Would she say, who's Jamie?

PAT: Yeah, she would say, who's Jamie.

GLENN: And then you would say, oh, she's somebody.

PAT: Somebody at work.

GLENN: Yeah, somebody at work. Would she then say, "Really? I may call Jamie." Would she?

PAT: If she said

GLENN: In your case you, your wife, as Pat?

PAT: No.

GLENN: No, she wouldn't.

PAT: She has no reason to well, if there was something going on, she would sense it.

GLENN: Yes, yes!

PAT: In a second.

GLENN: Yes. That's my point.

PAT: And probably all women do.

GLENN: Every woman has that. That's my point. If you say who's Jamie and you go, oh, it's just somebody I work with. Oh, okay. And then she moves on. You don't get you don't make the call to Jamie and say, hey, by the way, my wife may be calling. Your wife isn't calling unless she inspects you're a dirt bag.

STU: Oh, and you know she inspects it at this point.

PAT: And that's a panic because he works with a caddy and she knows, she knows he's not Jamie.

GLENN: Who's Jamie? The one that's polishing my clubs.

STU: Nice work.

GLENN: Thank you. I could go on. Please don't.

STU: You don't need to. Why would you

GLENN: Why? We don't have to. You make your own jokes from there.

PAT: I thought we were back in time there for a second, 1992. Good morning, everybody. Got the clubs jokes coming up this morning.

GLENN: This was the first one I heard. My friend in Dubai wrote this to me this morning. Okay? What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They both get clubbed by a Scandinavian.

STU: Thank you, Pat.

GLENN: He's in Dubai. What? I mean, that's the first Tiger Woods joke I heard.

STU: This is the beginning of a long process of Tiger Woods jokes.

GLENN: Tiger's been dropped from the rider's cup team as his terrible pattern of being beaten by Europeans continues.

PAT: You know, he's got $100 million in sponsorships at stake here.

GLENN: What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?

PAT: What?

GLENN: Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

STU: I mean, can we stop this? Is there a way to stop it?

GLENN: Yes.

STU: Thank you.

GLENN: Yes, here's a way to stop it. Admit you're a dirt bag and then move on.

STU: Well, it's one of it's so disappointing. Like you know when the Sanford stuff was going on, I just, you get disappointed. You almost get embarrassed for our group or like, you know, I get almost embarrassed for conservatives. It's like, what are you doing. And you know it has nothing to do with conservatives. But it's the same thing like when this happened with Tiger, men are pathetic. This guy's got a supermodel and a billion dollars and he can't entertain himself with it? It's like, Lord God, all you have to do is stay out of the papers and you have this unbelievable reputation to protect.

GLENN: To me this just shows how beauty, fame and wealth ain't all it's cracked up to be.

PAT: (Laughing).

GLENN: See, you thought I was serious on that. What, are you crazy? You're sleeping with her? On your yacht? And you've got a Gulfstream? What? Are you crazy? (Laughing).

'What you're doing is sacred': Glenn speaks to legislators at pro-family conference

Screenshot from Facebook

On Friday, Mercury One hosted the 2022 ProFamily Legislators Conference at The American Journey Experience. Glenn Beck shared this wisdom with legislators from all across our nation. We must be on God’s side.

Why Mumford & Sons co-founder Winston Marshall REGRETS apologizing to the WOKE MOB

Winston Marshall assumed that he would be playing banjo with Mumford & Sons well into his 60s, but one tweet — simply recommending Andy Ngo's book — was all it took for the woke mob to attack. At first, Winston apologized, saying he "was certainly open to not understanding the full picture." But after doing some research, not to mention a whole lot of soul-searching, his conscience "really started to bother" him.

On the latest episode of "The Glenn Beck Podcast," Winston opened up about the entire scandal, what he discovered in the wake of his cancellation, and why he's decided to put truth over career.

"I looked deeper and deeper into the topic, and I realized I hadn't been wrong [when] I'd called the author brave," Winston said of Ngo. "Not only was he brave, he'd been attacked by Antifa mobs in Oregon, and he was then attacked again ... he's unquestionably brave. And so my conscience really started to bother me ... I felt like I was in some way excusing the behavior of Antifa by apologizing for criticizing it. Which then made me feel, well, then I'm as bad as the problem because I'm sort of agreeing that it doesn't exist," he added.

"Another point, by the way, that I found it very frustrating, was that that left-wing media in this country and in my country don't even talk about [Antifa]. We can all see this footage. We see it online," Winston continued. "But they don't talk about it, and that's part of my, I think, interest initially in tweeting about Andy's book. Because I think people need to see what's going on, and it's a blind spot there. ... CNN and MSNBC, they don't cover it. Biden in his presidential election said it was just 'an idea' that didn't exist. I mean, did he not see the courthouse in Oregon being burnt down?"

Watch the video clip below or find the full podcast with Winston Marshall here.


Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn’s masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis, and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.

FBI whistleblower calls out 'UNUSUAL' Jan. 6 investigations — and pays the price

FBI whistleblower Steve Friend exposed the FBI for its handling of the investigation into the January 6 riot — and paid the price. Friend joined "The Glenn Beck Program" to describe the series of events that eventually led him not only to leave the FBI, but to speak out against potential abuses within the department as well. The crux of his story began with cases concerning the January 6, 2021, riot and one arrest warrant that he refused to take part in.


Friend also joined Glenn on his "Targets of Tyranny" special to explain why he believed the January 6 cases were run by Washington, D.C., and how the agency's handling of the "J6" investigations has been so "unusual" that he says he's "never" seen anything even close to this before.

Watch the video clip below. Can't watch? Download the podcast here.



Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn’s masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis, and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.

'This interview is ILLEGAL': Texas dad risks JAIL TIME for speaking about what's happening to his son

Image source: Video screenshot

A judge has banned Texas father Jeff Younger from speaking about his son, James, who was taken from him by our courts after he refused to call his son a girl. But Jeff said he'd rather go to jail than comply: "I'll appear in handcuffs ... but I'm not taking this tyranny."

Jeff joined Glenn Beck on "Targets of Tyranny" to tell James' story and explain the biggest lessons he's learned while battling our legal system.

"This interview is illegal in the state of Texas," Jeff told Glenn. "I was banned from publishing any blog posts, social media post, publishing a newspaper article, doing any writing at all about my situation. I was also permanently banned from doing interviews, doing podcasts, appearing on television interviews, and these are all specifically laid out," he explained.

"I was also banned from speaking on three political topics. I'm not allowed to talk about anything about transgender issues, gender expansiveness, or whether my son is a boy or a girl. And I have told this judge — and I tell this judge every time I do an interview — I will never follow your illegal and unconstitutional order. I have contempt for her as a judge issuing the order. I have maximum contempt for the tyrannical language of the order, and I will never follow the order," Jeff continued.

"I'm guilty of maximum criminal contempt in the 301st District Court of the state of Texas, and [the judge] is obligated to put me in jail for the maximum sentence, which is 180 days in the jail in Dallas County. Four days later, I'll be in the jail library with the writ of habeas corpus that I've already prepared. We will go to the 5th District, and we will see who's right. I'll appear in handcuffs, her in the judge's robe, but I'm not taking this tyranny. And I'm not going to stop speaking out about my son."

Watch the video clip below or find Glenn’s two-hour special, "Targets of Tyranny," here.


Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn’s masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis, and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.