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Glenn Beck: Tiger Woods, just another dirtbag

December 02, 2009
 Radio Clips

The Glenn Beck Program



Glenn Beck is seen here on the Insider Webcam, an exclusive feature available only to Glenn Beck Insiders. Learn more...

GLENN: Do you have the audio of

PAT: The voice mail?

GLENN: The voice mail?

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: Yeah.

PAT: Tiger's voice mail to some girl?

GLENN: Yeah.

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: Here it is.

TIGER: Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you

PAT: This, by the way, is real. This isn't some faky voice. This is Tiger Woods.

GLENN: Now you've just wrecked the mood. Can you start it over again, please?

TIGER: Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor.

GLENN: Huge.

TIGER: Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that.

GLENN: Okay.

TIGER: And just have it as a number on the voice mail, okay? You've got to do this for me.

GLENN: My wife may be calling you. Okay. So there's so many things to go off of here. First of all, what? What?

PAT: Jamie keeps showing up on your voice mail Tiger. Is that a problem? I mean, should I call this? "Well, that's my that's the launderer. That's where I do my dry cleaning."

GLENN: Hang on just a second. If a Jamie was showing up on your voice mail, okay? First of all, does your wife look at your phone? To see who you are calling?

PAT: Pretty rare, no.

GLENN: And if she does, it's just because she's using your phone and she'll look at it. And if she was using your phone and she looked at all those Jamies on there, she would say, who's Jamie, Pat?

STU: Why are you calling Jamie at 3:00 in the morning for 17 consecutive days?

GLENN: Okay, no, but hang on just a second. If she just saw Jamie on it.

STU: Just Jamie.

GLENN: Would she say, who's Jamie?

PAT: Yeah, she would say, who's Jamie.

GLENN: And then you would say, oh, she's somebody.

PAT: Somebody at work.

GLENN: Yeah, somebody at work. Would she then say, "Really? I may call Jamie." Would she?

PAT: If she said

GLENN: In your case you, your wife, as Pat?

PAT: No.

GLENN: No, she wouldn't.

PAT: She has no reason to well, if there was something going on, she would sense it.

GLENN: Yes, yes!

PAT: In a second.

GLENN: Yes. That's my point.

PAT: And probably all women do.

GLENN: Every woman has that. That's my point. If you say who's Jamie and you go, oh, it's just somebody I work with. Oh, okay. And then she moves on. You don't get you don't make the call to Jamie and say, hey, by the way, my wife may be calling. Your wife isn't calling unless she inspects you're a dirt bag.

STU: Oh, and you know she inspects it at this point.

PAT: And that's a panic because he works with a caddy and she knows, she knows he's not Jamie.

GLENN: Who's Jamie? The one that's polishing my clubs.

STU: Nice work.

GLENN: Thank you. I could go on. Please don't.

STU: You don't need to. Why would you

GLENN: Why? We don't have to. You make your own jokes from there.

PAT: I thought we were back in time there for a second, 1992. Good morning, everybody. Got the clubs jokes coming up this morning.

GLENN: This was the first one I heard. My friend in Dubai wrote this to me this morning. Okay? What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They both get clubbed by a Scandinavian.

STU: Thank you, Pat.

GLENN: He's in Dubai. What? I mean, that's the first Tiger Woods joke I heard.

STU: This is the beginning of a long process of Tiger Woods jokes.

GLENN: Tiger's been dropped from the rider's cup team as his terrible pattern of being beaten by Europeans continues.

PAT: You know, he's got $100 million in sponsorships at stake here.

GLENN: What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?

PAT: What?

GLENN: Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

STU: I mean, can we stop this? Is there a way to stop it?

GLENN: Yes.

STU: Thank you.

GLENN: Yes, here's a way to stop it. Admit you're a dirt bag and then move on.

STU: Well, it's one of it's so disappointing. Like you know when the Sanford stuff was going on, I just, you get disappointed. You almost get embarrassed for our group or like, you know, I get almost embarrassed for conservatives. It's like, what are you doing. And you know it has nothing to do with conservatives. But it's the same thing like when this happened with Tiger, men are pathetic. This guy's got a supermodel and a billion dollars and he can't entertain himself with it? It's like, Lord God, all you have to do is stay out of the papers and you have this unbelievable reputation to protect.

GLENN: To me this just shows how beauty, fame and wealth ain't all it's cracked up to be.

PAT: (Laughing).

GLENN: See, you thought I was serious on that. What, are you crazy? You're sleeping with her? On your yacht? And you've got a Gulfstream? What? Are you crazy? (Laughing).

SENTENCE COMMUTED: Roger Stone is no saint but the double standard is MIND-BLOWING!

Wikimedia Commons

Roger Stone is kind of a scumbag but the outrage over his commutation by President Trump has gone off the rails. Thus far in his presidency, Trump has commuted the sentence for 11 individuals while in comparison, Bill Clinton had 61. Even worse, Barack Obama commuted the sentence of 1,715 criminals! Just by the numbers, the outrage is insane. But then add in that both Obama and Clinton commuted or pardoned the sentence of terrorists and/or "friends" of the the president and the double standard is outrageous.

Here is a list of just a few of the worst offenders:

Bill Clinton Pardons/Commuted sentences

Terrorists

  • Commuted the sentences of 16 members of the FALN, a Puerto Rican paramilitary organization that set off 120 bombs in the United States, mostly in New York City and Chicago. There were convictions for conspiracy to commit robbery, bomb-making, and sedition, as well as firearms and explosives violations.
  • Linda Evans and Susan Rosenberg were both commuted and both were members of Weather Underground and the May 19 Communist Movement, and were convicted on weapons and explosives charges.

Case similar to Trump/Roger Stone

  • Susan McDougal was sentenced to 18 months in prison on contempt charges for refusing to testify about Clinton in the Whitewater scandal only to have Clinton pardoned her.

Pardons/commutations that look like a response to bribes

  • Carlos Vignali was convicted for cocaine trafficking. Almon Glenn Braswell was convicted for mail fraud and perjury, and was under investigation for money laundering and tax evasion. Vignali was commuted while Braswell was pardoned, but they were also both caught paying approximately $200,000 to Hillary Clinton's brother, Hugh Rodham, to represent their respective cases for clemency.
  • Marc Rich fled the U.S. after he was caught owing $48 million in taxes and was charged with 51 counts for tax fraud. Everyone was surprised when Clinton pardoned him. It was later revealed that Rich's wife made substantial donations to both the Clinton library and to Hillary Clinton's senate campaign.

Pardon for a member of Clinton's family

  • Clinton pardoned his brother, Roger Clinton, who had been convicted on drug charges. A year after the pardon he would be charged for Drunk driving and disorderly conduct.

Drug Cartel lawyer

  • Clinton commuted the sentence for Harvey Weinig, a former NY lawyer who was sentenced in 1996 to 11 years in prison for facilitating an extortion-kidnapping scheme and helping launder at least $19 million for the Cali cocaine cartel.

Obama Pardons/Commuted sentences - the most since Truman: Obama granted clemency to nearly 2,000 individuals, including 212 pardons and 1,715 commutations.

Terrorist

  • Obama commuted the sentence of another FALN terrorist, Oscar Lopez Rivera.

Traitors

  • Chelsea Manning: the former Army Intelligence analyst was convicted of leaking documents that revealed classified information on military and diplomatic activities all around the world only to have her sentence commuted.

Case similar to Micheal Flynn or Roger Stone

  • Obama pardoned General James Cartwright, who had been convicted for lying to the FBI (sound familiar?!). Cartwright was considered "Obama's favorite general".

WATCH NOW: The Deep State Diversion: Unmasking Names in the Coup Against Trump

On his Wednesday night special, Glenn Beck goes where the Left and the media don't want us to go. The protests, riots, pandemic — it's all one big distraction being weaponized to shield the Deep State from the big reveal.

The case against General Michael Flynn is bigger than a phone call with the Russian ambassador; it exposes everything. Glenn reveals multiple cogs in the Deep State wheel that tried to destroy Donald Trump's presidency.

This story has everything: secret meetings, spies, glamorous European locations. Glenn puts all of the pieces together and interviews the man who was an eyewitness to all of it — former Trump campaign adviser George Papadopoulos. Specifically targeted by this Deep State coup, his reputation and life may never be the same. He reveals the names of those he believes were behind his setup and the coup against the president.

Watch a preview of the full episode below:


Watch the full episode only on BlazeTV. Not a subscriber? Use promo code FIGHTTHEMOB to get $20 off your BlazeTV subscription or start your 30-day free trial today.

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Hey, WaPo, Native Americans DON'T HATE the name 'Washington Redskins'

The Washington Post wants Native Americans to hate the name "Washington Redskins" so badly that that it is willing to mock its own study that proved otherwise.

On the radio program Tuesday, Pat Gray and Stu Burguiere (filling in for Glenn Beck) discussed the "woke insanity" of the WaPo's most recent poll, which, like its 2016 counterpart, found that the vast majority of Native Americans are not offended by the NFL team's name.

Watch the video below for all the details:


Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

'This changes absolutely everything': Glenn reads rediscovered ORIGINAL draft of the Declaration of Independence

As the left tries to erase America's history and disparage nearly everything about our nation's founding, Glenn Beck set the record straight about the Declaration of Independence, what it really says, and why he believes it is the "greatest mission statement of all time."

On the radio program Monday, Glenn read something you've probably never heard before: a section of the earliest known draft of the Declaration of Independence, written by Thomas Jefferson in July 1776 and lost for more than a century and a half.

"This wasn't found until 1947; the original draft of the Declaration was found in a bunch of Thomas Jefferson's writings, in a box in the Library of Congress," Glenn said. "This takes everything that you have learned about Thomas Jefferson and turns it upside down. It also explains why we didn't eliminate slavery. It also explains that our Founders felt passionately about slavery, that they tried to end slavery. I want to read just this paragraph to you. This changes absolutely everything."

Watch the video below for more details:



Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.