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Glenn Beck: Tiger Woods, just another dirtbag

December 02, 2009
 Radio Clips

The Glenn Beck Program



Glenn Beck is seen here on the Insider Webcam, an exclusive feature available only to Glenn Beck Insiders. Learn more...

GLENN: Do you have the audio of

PAT: The voice mail?

GLENN: The voice mail?

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: Yeah.

PAT: Tiger's voice mail to some girl?

GLENN: Yeah.

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: Here it is.

TIGER: Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor. Can you

PAT: This, by the way, is real. This isn't some faky voice. This is Tiger Woods.

GLENN: Now you've just wrecked the mood. Can you start it over again, please?

TIGER: Hey, it's Tiger. I need you to do me a huge favor.

GLENN: Huge.

TIGER: Can you please take your name off your phone? My wife went through my phone and may be calling you. So if you can, please take your name off that.

GLENN: Okay.

TIGER: And just have it as a number on the voice mail, okay? You've got to do this for me.

GLENN: My wife may be calling you. Okay. So there's so many things to go off of here. First of all, what? What?

PAT: Jamie keeps showing up on your voice mail Tiger. Is that a problem? I mean, should I call this? "Well, that's my that's the launderer. That's where I do my dry cleaning."

GLENN: Hang on just a second. If a Jamie was showing up on your voice mail, okay? First of all, does your wife look at your phone? To see who you are calling?

PAT: Pretty rare, no.

GLENN: And if she does, it's just because she's using your phone and she'll look at it. And if she was using your phone and she looked at all those Jamies on there, she would say, who's Jamie, Pat?

STU: Why are you calling Jamie at 3:00 in the morning for 17 consecutive days?

GLENN: Okay, no, but hang on just a second. If she just saw Jamie on it.

STU: Just Jamie.

GLENN: Would she say, who's Jamie?

PAT: Yeah, she would say, who's Jamie.

GLENN: And then you would say, oh, she's somebody.

PAT: Somebody at work.

GLENN: Yeah, somebody at work. Would she then say, "Really? I may call Jamie." Would she?

PAT: If she said

GLENN: In your case you, your wife, as Pat?

PAT: No.

GLENN: No, she wouldn't.

PAT: She has no reason to well, if there was something going on, she would sense it.

GLENN: Yes, yes!

PAT: In a second.

GLENN: Yes. That's my point.

PAT: And probably all women do.

GLENN: Every woman has that. That's my point. If you say who's Jamie and you go, oh, it's just somebody I work with. Oh, okay. And then she moves on. You don't get you don't make the call to Jamie and say, hey, by the way, my wife may be calling. Your wife isn't calling unless she inspects you're a dirt bag.

STU: Oh, and you know she inspects it at this point.

PAT: And that's a panic because he works with a caddy and she knows, she knows he's not Jamie.

GLENN: Who's Jamie? The one that's polishing my clubs.

STU: Nice work.

GLENN: Thank you. I could go on. Please don't.

STU: You don't need to. Why would you

GLENN: Why? We don't have to. You make your own jokes from there.

PAT: I thought we were back in time there for a second, 1992. Good morning, everybody. Got the clubs jokes coming up this morning.

GLENN: This was the first one I heard. My friend in Dubai wrote this to me this morning. Okay? What does Tiger Woods have in common with a baby seal? They both get clubbed by a Scandinavian.

STU: Thank you, Pat.

GLENN: He's in Dubai. What? I mean, that's the first Tiger Woods joke I heard.

STU: This is the beginning of a long process of Tiger Woods jokes.

GLENN: Tiger's been dropped from the rider's cup team as his terrible pattern of being beaten by Europeans continues.

PAT: You know, he's got $100 million in sponsorships at stake here.

GLENN: What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?

PAT: What?

GLENN: Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

STU: I mean, can we stop this? Is there a way to stop it?

GLENN: Yes.

STU: Thank you.

GLENN: Yes, here's a way to stop it. Admit you're a dirt bag and then move on.

STU: Well, it's one of it's so disappointing. Like you know when the Sanford stuff was going on, I just, you get disappointed. You almost get embarrassed for our group or like, you know, I get almost embarrassed for conservatives. It's like, what are you doing. And you know it has nothing to do with conservatives. But it's the same thing like when this happened with Tiger, men are pathetic. This guy's got a supermodel and a billion dollars and he can't entertain himself with it? It's like, Lord God, all you have to do is stay out of the papers and you have this unbelievable reputation to protect.

GLENN: To me this just shows how beauty, fame and wealth ain't all it's cracked up to be.

PAT: (Laughing).

GLENN: See, you thought I was serious on that. What, are you crazy? You're sleeping with her? On your yacht? And you've got a Gulfstream? What? Are you crazy? (Laughing).

Sen. Ted Cruz explains the 'good news' in Trump's election battle

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) joined the "Glenn Beck Radio Program" to explain how mail-in ballots are typically disqualified during recounts at a far higher rate than in-person, Election Day ballots, and why this is "good news" for President Donald Trump's legal battle over the election.

"One of the things that gives the greatest cause for optimism is, this election ... there's a pretty marked disparity in terms of how the votes were distributed. On Election Day, with in-person voting, Donald Trump won a significant majority of the votes cast on in-person voting on Election Day. Of mail-in voting, Joe Biden won a significant majority of the votes cast early on mail-in voting," Cruz explained.

"Now, here's the good news: If you look historically to recounts, if you look historically to election litigation, the votes cast in person on Election Day tend to stand. It's sort of hard to screw that up. Those votes are generally legal, and they're not set aside. Mail-in votes historically have a much higher rate of rejection … when they're examined, there are a whole series of legal requirements that vary state by state, but mail-in votes consistently have a higher rate of rejection, which suggests that as these votes begin being examined and subjected to scrutiny, that you're going to see Joe Biden's vote tallies go down. That's a good thing," he added. "The challenge is, for President Trump to prevail, he's got to run the table. He's got to win, not just in one state but in several states. That makes it a lot harder to prevail in the litigation. I hope that he does so, but it is a real challenge and we shouldn't try to convince ourselves otherwise."

Watch the video clip below to catch more of the conversation:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Subscribe to BlazeTV today with our BEST DEAL EVER for $30 off with promo code GLENN.

'He's profiting off the over 30,000 New Yorkers, including my in-laws, that died': Janice Dean calls out Cuomo's COVID hypocrisy

Fox News senior meteorologist Janice Dean is perhaps even more disgusted with New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D) for his coronavirus response than BlazeTV's Stu Burguiere (read what Stu has to say on the subject here), and for a good reason.

She lost both of her in-laws to COVID-19 in New York's nursing homes after Gov. Cuomo's infamous nursing home mandate, which Cuomo has since had scrubbed from the state's website and blamed everyone from the New York Post to nursing care workers to (every leftist's favorite scapegoat) President Donald Trump.

Janice joined Glenn and Stu on the "Glenn Beck Radio Program" Tuesday to ask why mainstream media is not holding Gov. Cuomo — who recently published a book about his leadership during the COVID-19 pandemic — accountable?

"I'm vocal because I have not seen the mainstream media ask these questions or demand accountability of their leaders. [Cuomo] really has been ruling with an iron fist, and every time he does get asked a question, he blames everybody else except the person that signed that order," Janice said.

"In my mind, he's profiting off the over 30 thousand New Yorkers, including my in-laws, that died by publishing a book on 'leadership' of New York," she added. "His order has helped kill thousands of relatives of New York state. And this is not political, Glenn. This is not about Republican or Democrat. My in-laws were registered Democrats. This is not about politics. This is about accountability for something that went wrong, and it's because of your [Cuomo's] leadership that we're put into this situation."

Watch the video excerpt from the show below:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Megyn Kelly on what's happening to Fox News

As America grows divided and afraid to disagree with the Democrats' woke plan for America, Megyn Kelly is ready to fight back for the truth. For nearly two decades, she navigated the volatile and broken world of the media. But as America leans on independent voices more than ever, she's breaking new ground with "The Megyn Kelly Show."

She joined the latest Glenn Beck Podcast to break down what's coming next after the election: Black Lives Matter is mainstream, leftists are making lists of Trump supporters, and the Hunter Biden scandal is on the back burner.

Megyn and Glenn reminisce about their cable news days (including her infamous run-in with then-presidential candidate Donald Trump) and to look into the chaotic and shady world of journalism and the growing entitlement it's bred. For example, many conservatives have been shocked by how Fox News handled the election.

Megyn defended Fox News, saying she believes Fox News' mission "is a good one," but also didn't hold back on hosts like Neil Cavuto, who cut off a White House briefing to fact check it — something she never would have done, even while covering President Obama.

Megyn also shared this insightful takeaway from her time at NBC: "Jane Fonda was an ass."

Watch the full podcast here:

Want to listen to more Glenn Beck podcasts?

Subscribe to Glenn Beck's channel on YouTube for FREE access to more of his masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, or subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

'Nobody pays for a damn thing!' Glenn Beck has had ENOUGH of the left's unchecked corruption

Glenn Beck has had enough of exposing scandal after scandal, just to have everyone look the other way: Benghazi, Hillary Clinton's emails, Joe and Hunter Biden's dealings in Ukraine and China … the list goes on, but no consequences are paid. Now, the media have called the election for Joe Biden and insist no one can question it. But for many of the more than 71 million people who voted for President Trump, our search for the truth isn't over yet.

On his Wednesday night special this week, Glenn called out the left's long list of alleged corruption that has gone unchecked and stressed that Donald Trump's legal team must be allowed to go through the process of investigating the multiple allegations of election fraud to ensure our voting systems are fair.

"I don't know about you, but I'm tired. I am worn out. I am fed up!" Glenn said during his opening monologue. "I've had enough. I am tired of exposing corruption, doing our homework, even going overseas and having documents translated to make sure they're exactly right, [and] presenting the evidence ... except, once we expose it, nothing happens. Nobody goes to jail. Nobody pays for a damn thing any more!"

Watch the short video clip from the full show below:


Because the content of this show is sure to set off the Big Tech censors, the full episode is only be available on BlazeTV. The election and its aftermath are the most important stories in America, so we're offering our most timely discount ever: $30 off a one-year subscription to BlazeTV with code "GLENN."