Stewart gets owned, hits Glenn



Jon Stewart reverted back to his old bread and butter last night: making fun of cable news hosts.

GLENN: Jon Stewart last night making fun of me, calling me -- connecting me to Hannibal Lecter and Clarice is Sarah Palin. Nobody can figure out why I had -- you know, why I put us there at the Statue of Liberty.

Pat: (Laughter.) No. I think Stewart did. I think he --

Glenn: Can you play that back?

Pat: I can play some of it.

Glenn: Play some of it, before it gets dicey.

Pat: It gets dicey pretty quickly.

Glenn: Yeah. It's cable news. So --

Pat: Here we go.

(Audio:)

Stewart: -- Fox News. The first day there she sat down with Bill O'Reilly, went very well. The next day was a visit to perhaps Fox's next biggest star, Glenn Beck. I wonder if Glenn Beck has lost any perspective on the relative importance of this moment.

Glenn: We have a full hour with former Governor Alaska Sarah Palin. She's now a Fox contributor and this is the first time that we have actually sat in the same room and looked eyeball to eyeball with each other and I picked this spot because of that statue and what it means.

Stewart: She's from Alaska. She's not an immigrant. I get it. The only appropriate spot for an meeting of this import is in the shadow of Lady Liberty. I guess they would have done the interview on the lap of the Lincoln Memorial.

(Audio concluded.)

Pat: I think that's about as far as we can go.

Glenn: That's as far as we can go there.

Pat: It's funny, because they show the two of you on the lap of Lincoln.

Glenn: Right. Is that available? Can you rent that?

Pat: Well, Stewart goes on to say --

Glenn: I know. I know. I know. I know. It wasn't about the interview. It was about trying to find trust. Do you trust her? Do you trust anybody anymore? What do you trust? The only thing that really Americans look at anymore is Abe Lincoln and the Statue of Liberty and they're, like, I trust that.

Pat: Uh-huh.

Glenn: They don't trust any of our other symbols.

Stu: It's good to see him falling back on just bashing cable news personalities after he got schooled by John Yoo a couple of days ago. Did you guys see that?

Glenn: No, huh-uh.



John Yoo vs John Stewart

Stu: Yeah. You know, the guy who basically wrote the, you know, the legal justifications for the water boarding of terrorists which saved, you know, how many lives. Of course, that's crazy talk to Jon Stewart and he had John Yoo on. Well, I think it would be -- I would love to hear you talk to him about it. He has got a book out and it's -- I don't know if he's doing the rounds or whatever, but, you know, talking to him about that and Jon, a tad out of his league in that conversation.

Glenn: Do you have any of it ready?

Stu: Just a tad. I don't know any of it ready, but I can get for the next break.

Glenn: Yeah. See if you can get it for the break. I would love to hear that.

Stu: Because it's the typical, like, How can you justify terror? And then he gives you 75 different ways that it's happened, you know, whether it's torture or not and where you draw those lines and he goes through the entire thing.

Glenn: See if you can find the audio for me. See if you can find the audio. We'll play it at the -- after the next break.

Pat: You know, we've been talking all week, we've been following this British list of the 100 most influential conservatives all week from

Glenn: And it doesn't make any sense because a lot of them are not even conservatives.

Pat: Most of them, probably, aren't conservatives.

Glenn: David Brooks is on this list.

Pat: But we were thinking -- yeah. And Lindsey Graham. I mean, you've got a whole bunch of pseudo conservatives who really don't belong together. You've got a bunch of progressives.

Glenn: You have -- if you take out the idea of progressive and you don't think that that is a problem, then you have a lot of these Republicans that claim they're conservative but they're not. They're progressives.

Pat: So, today -- I mean, all week long we thought, okay, maybe you would be 180, somewhere in there, because they've released 20 a day.

Glenn: Yeah, yeah.

Pat: All week long.

Glenn: Yeah.

Pat: You weren't there. You weren't in --

Glenn: Just give the number.

Pat: 60. All right. You just want the number? No. 6.

Glenn: Give me the --

Pat: No. 6.

Glenn: Who was in the top 10?

Pat: No. 1, of course, you would think Rush. They didn't. They chose Dick Cheney. No. 2 was Rush.

Glenn: Hang on a second. Is that the deal, most influential?

Pat: Yeah. Top conservatives. Yeah. Most influential conservatives.

Glenn: I don't think he is.

Stu: He's been out a lot, though, this past year and he's --

Glenn: He is one that --

Pat: He was in the top 10.

Glenn: He's one of them and he's one that I get to listen to and I'm, like, Okay. Where were you? Where were you?

Pat: Yeah.

Stu: He's been speaking a lot of truth over the past year, I would say.

Pat: But No. 1 over Rush? Would you put him there? I wouldn't.

Stu: No. Maybe not, but he also was the vice-president of the United States. You get some stature for that.

Glenn: There is a lot of -- I read a couple of days ago -- and I'm trying to figure out this list on how they -- because I saw -- I don't remember. It must have been Lindsey Graham I saw on this list and I thought, How do they get on the list? It is -- also part of it is influence and years of influence. So, if you're --

Pat: Okay. Well, he fits those criteria.

Glenn: He fits that because he's been around forever.

Pat: No. 2, Rush. No. 3, Matt Drudge who has a lot of influence.

Glenn: At lot of influence.

Pat: No. 4, Sarah Palin, who clearly has --

Glenn: A lot of influence.

Pat: A lot of influence. No. 5, Robert Gates, just the Defense Secretary of the United States of America. No. 6, Glenn Beck, Fox News presenter.

Glenn: How stupid is that?

Stu: One of these things just doesn't belong.

Glenn: What do they write?

Pat: Let's see. The fastest-rising star of cable television, Beck delivers monologs that veer from doom-saying to tears, jokes, and rapid-fire analysis of Obama Land, suspect connections, hidden beliefs, and dark plots. His subjects include the threat of fascism, communism, terrorism, Wall Street fat cats, Mexico's collapse. How often have we talked about Mexico's collapse?

Glenn: I talked about it early on.

Pat: The decline of religion and power of the liberal media. All this is united by the theme of impending doom and the fear that the ordinary American is being forgotten. Well, that's accurate.

Glenn: I think all of that is accurate.

Pat: It's working spectacularly. Since switching from CNN's Headline News to Fox, Beck has soared up the ratings chart with his 5:00 p.m. show, capturing an average 2 million viewers -- I think it's much higher than that now, isn't it? --

Glenn: Yeah.

Pat: -- an unprecedented number at that hour. His talk show rates third in the country. There have been five best-selling books. A recovering alcoholic, drug addict, he has also cried more than any other presenter in memory. What is that presenter thing?

Glenn: I hate that.

Pat: Often welling up at the thought of what will happen to the United States. I'm sorry. I just love my country, and I fear for it, he once wept. His opposition to big government and Obama has seen him adopted by many of the tea party movement as their figurehead. There has been talk of a presidential bid, which will do his ratings no harm. "I consider myself a libertarian. I'm a conservative but every day that goes by, I'm fighting for individual rights," explained Beck who describes his show as a fusion of entertainment and enlightenment. That's it. No. 7, this is interesting. Roger Ailes. He placed ahead of his British -- Roger Ailes.

Glenn: I think that would be a misunderstanding.

Pat: Yeah.

Glenn: Seeing that Roger is the guy who hired me and keeps me on the air.

Pat: Yeah.

Glenn: So --

Pat: Yeah.

Glenn: Really, he's probably more influential.

Pat: No. 8, just the head of U.S. central command, David Petraeus. No. 9, Wisconsin Congressman Paul Ryan. That seems a little high for Paul Ryan. I mean --

Glenn: Tell me about Paul Ryan. Wisconsin?

Pat: Yes. He has it all, according to this article, including time on his side. He entered Congress at the tender age of 28. Doesn't turn 40 until next year. Just because he's -- none of these guys -- none of these Republicans --

Glenn: I don't want a guy who got in at 28 and is now 40 and is still in Congress.

Pat: Where do you want him to be?

Glenn: Maybe running a business.

Pat: Okay. Well, that's -- yes. Term limits would be a good thing at this point.

Glenn: Doing his own gig.

Pat: Sure, sure. And then No. 10 I wholeheartedly disagree with because, again, it's not a conservative, Tim Pawlenty. No. 11, Mitt Romney. No. 12, George W. Bush, only former President of the United States. John Roberts was 13th. Haley Barbour, Mississippi, was 14th, followed by Eric Cantor, McCain, Mike Pence, Bob McDonald.

Glenn: If you look at this list of conservatives and you count the number of progressives on this list you see -- progressives or people who ignored the progressives, for instance, Dick Cheney ignored the progressives, you know, and just went along with them, if you look at that list, there are a lot of enemies within the gates of the conservative movement. I can't -- I started writing the speech for CPAC last night. I sent a little bit to you guys. Did you read it? Did you see it?

Pat: I saw it. I haven't read it.

Glenn: Did you read it or see it?

Stu: I did see the e-mail, but I have not read it yet.

Glenn: Thanks, guys. That's big.

Stu: Nothing else to do. I was so bored. I was, like, What can I do today, and then I saw your e-mail and I was, like, Oh, this is 40 pages of a speech a month from now. Let me read it now.

Glenn: Don't do that.

Pat: Right, right.

Glenn: I think that it's time to clean house. I think it's time to clean house and I think it's -- I'm tired of playing, not the ugly stepchild. I mean, we're not even the stepchild. We're the enemy that's outside of the house. Conservatives are the majority, the vast majority, and somehow or the other, we've allowed yourselves to be painted as something different than that and we've been painted that with the help of the progressives in the Republican party. Look at -- what do you think Lindsey Graham is doing? Look what he's doing. He is painting within the framework of the party, he is framing people with real values and belief of the of Constitution and the founders. He's in the party, painting those people as an extremists.

Graham: I'm clueless. I'm clueless.

Glenn: There may be more to that statement, but we'll just agree with it and move on, because --

Graham: I'm clueless.

Glenn: Yes, Lindsey --

Graham: I'm clueless.

Glenn: -- you are.

A town in Sweden is under fire after denying requests to ring church bells in the 1990s and the 2000s but recently approving a mosque's request to conduct a weekly Islamic call to prayer.

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Authorities in the town of Vaxjo in southern Sweden have given the local mosque a one-year permit to recite the call to prayer every Friday for about four minutes. But Fr. Ingvar Fogelqvist of St. Michael's, the local Catholic church located about a mile from the mosque, says similar requests to ring church bells were denied.

On today's show, Pat and Jeffy talked about this story and favorable bias toward the Muslim faith. The issue isn't that the Islamic call to prayer is allowed; it's that all religions are not being treated equally.

Somebody might want to check the temperature in hell, it might be just a tad chillier than normal.

If you missed Friday's episode of The Glenn Beck Program, you missed something you probably never thought you'd see in this timeline or any other. Glenn actually donned President Trump's trademark red "Make America Great Again" hat and laid out the case for why he thinks Trump will win in a landslide in 2020.

RELATED: The media's derangement over Trump has me wearing a new hat and predicting THIS for 2020

Bottom line: Nancy Pelosi and the mainstream media may have pushed Glenn to this point, but believe it or not, Trump's record will make this next election a walk in the park for number 45. At this point, the sitting president has done enough to earn even Glenn's vote.

Glenn broke down what he thought were the 10 biggest campaign promises that — unlike those made by most politicians — Trump actually kept.

10. Impose a 10% repatriation tax to bring jobs back to America

Not all of Trump's promises were good ones, but regardless of what the consequences may be — he did keep this one.

"Now, I think this one is dangerous," Glenn said on radio Friday. "He did it. Ten percent. Bring all of your money back into the United States. It will create jobs. Yes. It will also create inflation. But it's creating jobs."

9. Withdraw from the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP)

This has been one of Trump's most passionate issues.

"The stop the TPP. Uh-huh. Right. Sure you are. Uh-huh. Yes. He did," Glenn admitted.

8. Withdraw from the disastrous Paris Climate Accord

Glenn found himself eating crow on this.

"I'm on record saying he will never do that because his daughter is a huge global warming person and he only listens to the family. Eh. Wrong," Glenn said with a puff of crow feathers coming from his mouth.

7. Bring North Korea to the table and rein them in

This looked impossible. Not so.

"'I'm going to bring North Korea to the table.' Are you? Everybody has tried to do that," Glenn said. "Now, they're at the table. We don't know what's going to happen. So the result of that is unknown. But has anybody else done that?"

6. Stop over-regulation and jump-start the economy

It's the economy, stupid.

"Does anybody feel like America is beginning to get on track somewhat economically? You know why? Because he fulfilled another promise," Glenn said. "Stop over-regulating the American people. Give them their money. Give the companies the opportunity to expand and bring their money back into the country, and maybe they'll build buildings. Maybe they'll build offices. Maybe they'll build new products. Maybe they'll build new factories. Maybe they'll hire a bunch of people."

Glenn went on.

"Now, I know Seattle is trying to do everything they can to make sure everybody in their city is homeless and unemployed, but the rest of the country is enjoying the feeling of, wow, maybe things are going to be okay."

5. Reverse Obama's executive orders

If you're like Glenn, you've gotten used to politicians promising "no new taxes," but you can really tell they're lying if their lips are moving. Guess what? That's apparently not Trump.

"The executive orders? Yeah. He's reversed a lot of Obama's executive orders," Glenn said. "These are outrageous promises."

4. Pull out of the Iran nuclear deal

No big deal...

"'I'm going to cancel the Iran Deal.' Yep. None of these are small. You know, I've got maybe ten minutes. I think we can get that done in the first term. And they did," Glenn said.

3. Give tax cuts to middle-class Americans

Maybe this could have been better, but we'll take it.

"I don't like the tax cut. I think he could go a lot further," Glenn said. "But that's not even his job. His job is to sign things that Congress puts in front of him. Not to design it. You Republicans in Congress, you disgust me. You disgust me. 'Imagine what we could do if we had the House and the Senate and the White House.' I can imagine what you'll do — nothing. You'll do nothing."

2. Change strategy and defeat ISIS

The mainstream media have been radio silent on this.

"How about the president's — well, I know I can defeat ISIS. I know I can do it. I'll defeat ISIS. He did," Glenn said. "And did you notice no one in the press even talked about it? All of a sudden, we're not talking about ISIS anymore. How come? Oh, I know. President Trump. That's why."

1. Recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel and relocate the US embassy

This one is a true game-changer.

"Now, every president will say to you, when he's running, 'I'm going to make Jerusalem the home.' Well, really? The home of the embassy. Really, are you? Because everybody says that, nobody does it. He did it," Glenn said. "And I think that's going to go down as the biggest game-changer possibly in my lifetime. This is going — it already is — it is changing the game in Iran."

Glenn continued.

"And when it does, this president is going to come out and say something directly to those people, that we support them," he said. "And that's going to add fuel to the fire. And you might see a regime change and a collapse of the Islamic regime in Iran. And it will be 100 percent Donald Trump that made that responsible. One hundred percent. You're going to see changes because of this. He kept that promise. A promise I said, he's not going to do that. Nobody is going to do that. He did."

One chapter of ISIS has ended, but another may be starting

AHMAD AL-RUBAYE/AFP/Getty Images

For the most part, ISIS has fallen in Syria and Iraq. But before we celebrate the demise of this awful terrorist group, before we let our guard down, we should zoom out a bit, because ISIS is spreading. ISIS has largely just scattered out of the region as if someone turned on the kitchen lights and they scrambled.

RELATED: It IS About Islam: This Is a War Against Evil

The Wall Street Journal spoke with Rohan Gunaratna, head of the International Center for Political Violence and Terrorism Research at the Nanyang University in Singapore. “Although Islamic State's ideology has suffered, it still has a huge potential," he told them. “Islamic State has entered a phase of global expansion, very much the same way al Qaeda extended globally in late 2001."

ISIS has spread into West Africa, and throughout much of Southeast Asia, and, as is typical of ISIS, they have done it violently, with a sick venom.

The world is their potential rubble, and their fight is endless.

Again, from the Wall Street Journal: “One chapter of ISIS has finished and another is beginning," said Hassan Hassan, a specialist on Islamic State at the Tahrir Institute for Middle East Policy in Washington. “Their resurgence is coming sooner than expected."

The world is their potential rubble, and their fight is endless.

'The Handmaid's Tale' got it right, just with the wrong religion

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

Just in case The Handmaid's Tale's heavy-handed message wasn't already heavy-handed enough, a recent episode made it clear there's always room for further hysteria. Particularly, in relation to depictions of a “patriarchal society" run by Christian doctrine and determined by men — oh those dastardly men.

RELATED: Christian privilege is the new white privilege

The show appropriates Margaret Atwood of the same name, depicting a totalitarian society led by Christian doctrine in which women's bodies are controlled, and they have no rights. The story sounds familiar, but not in the same way Atwood and the show's creators have so smugly assumed.

Just as tone-deaf as 4th wave feminism itself, and tone-deaf in all the exact same places. Most notably, the show's heavy-handed indignation toward Christianity. Toward the patriarchy. Toward conservatives and traditional values. And just like 4th wave feminism, the show completely overlooks the irony at play. Because there is a part of the world where women and children are being raped and mutilated. In fact, in this very real place, the women or girls are often imprisoned, even executed, for being raped, and they are mutilated in unspeakable ways.

Theirs is a cruel, bloody, colorless life.

There is a place, a very real place, where women are forced to cover their entire bodies with giant tarp-like blankets, which is all the more brutal given the endless heat of this place. There is a place where women literally have one-third of the rights of men, a place where women are legally, socially and culturally worth less than men.

They cannot drive cars. They cannot be outside alone. They cannot divorce, they cannot even choose who they marry and often, they are forcibly married at a young age.

They are raped. A lot. Theirs is a cruel, bloody, colorless life. This is the life of tens, perhaps hundreds of millions of women. And, I'll tell you, their religion isn't Christianity.