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GLENN: Like, this is, like, the third most listened to show in all of America. Hi, I'm Meghan McCain and, like, it is, like, so great to be, like, a progressive Republican. I just think it's like really, really cool like what President Obama's doing right now with some of our stimulus money. He's got, like, this cool thing for iPods and students that I think America is just going to really, really love unless you're, like, a flat earther because it's so cool. Could we have my, could we have my new Meghan McCain theme?
MEGHAN McCAIN: I consider myself a progressive Republican. No, I want one of those! The generation of YouTube and Twitter and my space. And if I don't get the things I am after, I'm going to scream!
GLENN: Like it's a Meghan McCain, like, progressive Republican update. This is going to make progressives happy. Polk School District is giving iPods to parents. Yeah, I think that's (applause), like, I want one, like, right now. Like I am from the generation of, like, iPods and stuff and I know better than you do. The Polk County school district is giving away iPods using the device to reward parents of children with disabilities who fill out a 10 minute online survey. Like, what's wrong with that? Like 10 minutes of work, they accomplish something. Give them award. The only thing that would be better is, like, if they don't have to, like, do anything for it. You know what I mean? Like, why are some parents winners and other parents, like, losers? The district wants to know how well it's connecting with parents and how to get parents involved with their children's education. The district is spending $350,000 on the iPods, $350,000 on the iPods. Where's the money coming from? Like, okay, like, really, hello. It's, like, stimulus money for, like, the taxpayers but they're just old people and they don't know what an iPod even is.
MEGHAN McCAIN: I love tattoos. I want one. Young people are turned off by this movement. It sounds weird. Anybody that's different is smoking something. I want an Oompa Loompa now!
PAT: I want an iPod now! That's a good idea. Stimulus money for iPods for parents? That's a good idea.
GLENN: I mean, come on!
PAT: I wonder why it's only going to parents with children who have disabilities. It should go to all children as parents in the district.
GLENN: I don't think it should even go to
PAT: What do you mean? What?
GLENN: It should just go to people.
PAT: Yeah, okay.
GLENN: You should just go door to door and give them iPods.
PAT: Give iPods.
GLENN: I have a fundamental right to an iPod.