GLENN: Hillary Clinton was crying and it was the first time that I think -- do we still have the audio, Dan? It was the first time I actually agree with Hillary Clinton. I want you to listen to this.
DAN: You want me to go back to the start?
GLENN: Yeah, go ahead, go back to the start. This darn clip just doesn't do justice on radio. You've got to see it on TV tonight. Oh, it's so calculated. Go ahead.
HILLARY CLINTON: It's not easy. It's not easy.
GLENN: Hold on just a second. Not easy what? Being green? You should play Kermit the frog. I'm sorry. Is this the medication talking?
STU: I'm going to go with yes on this. Let's move on because you are getting to that point of you're quoting Muppets and really that's not what we're looking for.
GLENN: It's better. About an hour ago I was seeing Muppets. But go ahead.
HILLARY CLINTON: And I couldn't do it if I just didn't passionately believe that it was the right thing to do.
GLENN: Yes. Calculating, calculating, calculating.
HILLARY CLINTON: I have so many opportunities from this country. I just don't want to see us fall backwards, you know?
GLENN: Hang on just a second. I love that metal ping in the background, too, because it's like, oh, I'm sorry, my robot arm just hit my leg. Calculating route. That's what we need. We need "Calculating route." Because that's what she's doing. "I just see that we're going this way and I just don't want to see us go back." Okay, here's the point where I agree with her.
HILLARY CLINTON: I just don't want to see us fall backwards.
[ APPLAUSE ]
GLENN: Yes, she showed an emotion, yes.
HILLARY CLINTON: This is very personal for me.
GLENN: It is.
HILLARY CLINTON: It's not just political.
GLENN: Hang on just a second. It's very, very personal to me. I mean, I stayed with this dirtbag husband of mine with the promise that I would be the President. That's why I stayed with him! He was going to get me elected President. He told me -- well, first he said "I was not with that woman" and I believed him. Well, not really. He's a dirtbag and I've known it for years. "But I was willing to stay with him so I could be President." This is personal. This is pissing me off. Now I'm with him and I'm a loser. I mean, I was already a loser when I was with him but now I'm a double loser.
HILLARY CLINTON: I see what's happening. We have to reverse it and some people think that --
GLENN: Stop, stop. That's what I agree with. I don't think I've ever said these words "I agree with Hillary Clinton" but I'm there now. I agree with Hillary Clinton. Play that last phrase again.
HILLARY CLINTON: See what's happening. We have to reverse it.
GLENN: Stop. I can't take it. I can't take it. Does that sound like the fakest thing you've ever heard? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just so riddled with ADD and the drugs today that I can't keep a thought straight. But let me first finish that phrase that I agree with. I can see what happens, I can see what's happening and we just -- what did she say?
STU: We need to reverse.
HILLARY CLINTON: Some people think elections are a game.
GLENN: No, go back.
STU: I believe she said we need to reverse.
GLENN: I agree with you. We do need to reverse it. I see what's happening, too. We're becoming a socialist country. I mean, you know, -- I mean, why don't we just elect a czar, for the love of Pete. I mean, why don't we just go for a premiere, Premiere Clinton. I mean, that's where we're headed and I agree with you, Hillary. We should reverse it, although I don't think we agree on what we see happening here. You've got to go back and listen to this. "Calculating route." To where she is just, she's just so calculated here. Listen to how she sounds so teary eyed. I just, I'm trying to make myself cry.
HILLARY CLINTON: You know, this is very personal for me.
GLENN: Yes.
HILLARY CLINTON: It's not just political, it's not just public.
GLENN: No.
HILLARY CLINTON: I see what's happening.
GLENN: Do you?
HILLARY CLINTON: We have to reverse it.
GLENN: Yes.
HILLARY CLINTON: And some people think elections are a game, they think it's like who's up or who's down. It's about our country. It's about our kids' futures and it's really about all of us together. You know, some of us put ourselves out there and do this against some pretty difficult --
GLENN: Stop, stop, stop, stop. This is where it all went awry. Listen, go back. Go back. Go back again to where, I want to see what's happening. Okay, let's not be, you know, going for laughs. Let's just -- nobody's laughing. Let's not go for laughs. Let's just go for what's honest. I believe -- go ahead. Play it there.
HILLARY CLINTON: You know, this is very personal for me.
GLENN: Stop. Without going for laughs, I believe it is. I believe it is very personal for her. Go ahead.
HILLARY CLINTON: It's not just political, it's not just public.
GLENN: Stop. I agree with that. I believe she actually is an idealog. I believe she actually believes in the bullcrap that she won't tell you about. You know, she'll be center with us but she's not. Stress extremely far left. She actually believes in that stuff. And God bless her. I just wish she would admit it. But she knows she can't admit it because then she wouldn't get elected. But what's funny is because she's not admitting it, she's not going to be elected. Man, the American people are smart sometimes. All right, go ahead.
HILLARY CLINTON: I see what's happening. We have to reverse it.
GLENN: Stop. I think she does see what's happening. What she sees, what she sees happening is this country is starting to wake up and say, wait a minute, it's not about left and right; it's about right and wrong. Wait a minute, hang on just a second; maybe we shouldn't be a socialist country. Maybe we shouldn't do some of these things. And there's just the beginning of this country waking up, and I believe that that's what she's talking about and I believe she means that sincerely.
HILLARY CLINTON: And some people think elections are a game and it's like --
GLENN: Stop. This is where she becomes the android. This is where she is "Calculating route." Listen to what -- she just said what she believes and she's got just a little bit of mist in her eyes, just a little. You could almost hear her thinking, "Wow, I'm actually emotional, I mean, probably because I'm tired and everything else, but how can I use these tears to my advantage. Oh, my gosh! I know."
HILLARY CLINTON: They think it's like who's up or who's down. It's about our country, it's about our kids' futures and it's really about all of us together. You know, some of us put ourselves out there.
GLENN: There it is.
HILLARY CLINTON: Against some pretty difficult odds.
GLENN: Stop. That just feels so fake, doesn't it? Some of us -- she was like, you know, it's about our kids, it's about our country. "Calculating route." Oh, you know, but some people, well, we put ourselves out there on those crazy odds (laughing.).
Doesn't it sound like that? Doesn't it sound fake all of a sudden? It's the medication talking, isn't it?
STU: No, no, you are getting there. I think it gets worse, though.
GLENN: Oh, no, it does. This is just the beginning of the (laughing wickedly) "I've got something; it's alive!" Go ahead. Play it.
HILLARY CLINTON: And we do it, each one of us because we care about our country. But some of us are right and some of us are wrong. Some of us are ready and some of us are not.
GLENN: Oh, boy.
HILLARY CLINTON: Some of us know what we will do on day one and some of us haven't really thought that through enough.
GLENN: You could put that on a bumper sticker.
HILLARY CLINTON: So when we look at the grave problems we have.
GLENN: Yes.
HILLARY CLINTON: And the potential for it really spinning out of control. This is one of the most important elections America's ever faced. So as tired as I am --
GLENN: And she is tired.
HILLARY CLINTON: And I am. And as difficult as it is to try to keep up what I try to do on the road like occasionally exercise and try to eat right, it's tough when the easiest food is pizza. I just feel so strongly in who we are as a nation.
GLENN: I do.
HILLARY CLINTON: So I'm going to do everything I can to make my case and, you know, then the voters get to decide.
GLENN: Oh, that's great. Thank you. Thank you so much. And I'm just going to go now, leave and be just like you and do those things that you do all the time. I don't want to get into specifics because maybe you don't do exactly what I'm going to do but if I leave you with the impression that I'm going to do what you're doing, then you'll be able to see that I'm just like you, even though -- are you made mostly out of titanium? I'm in the new lightweight titanium class. I don't know what you're made out of. I'm sorry. Can we edit this part out?
I don't know why the hell we're talking about that, but I'm glad we had this time together just to have a laugh and make fun of the robot Hillary Clinton.