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GLENN: I'm just seeing that CPAC, the conference is just getting underway now in Washington, D.C. I'm going to be speaking there. I'm giving the key note address on Saturday. Fox News has decided to carry the entire speech. So they will be carrying it Saturday afternoon. Do you even know what time that speech starts?
STU: I heard both 5:30 and 6:00 Eastern but I'm not 100% sure which one is right.
GLENN: Okay. So
PAT: A speech so big, they have to cover it at 5:30 and 6:00. In its entirety.
GLENN: No, I think they are only going to cover
PAT: Two fabulous show times on Fox News.
GLENN: I'm wondering if because I know last year CNN and MSNBC covered Rush Limbaugh and they made fun of the way he dressed, they made fun of, you know, how fat he was and everything else. I mean, there's plenty of opportunity to make fun of, you know, how fat I am and et cetera, et cetera.
STU: Yes, there is. We're going to be taking a lot of those opportunities on Monday's radio program.
GLENN: Wait a minute. I don't think that's
STU: No, tune in for that. In Hours 1, 2 and 3 and, of course, 4.
GLENN: (Laughing). I started my diet on Monday. I was
PAT: Are you keeping to it?
PAT: Are you keeping to it?
GLENN: Yeah. Yeah, I am. I started my diet on Monday. I have just been so just let me eat myself into a coma that, you know, when I first got on TV, I was scared skinny. There's nothing like going on national TV and knowing that the camera ads in my case 50 pounds, but there's nothing like going on television and being fat. You're scared skinny. So I got down to 205, 208 and about a year ago that started going awry and now I was at... okay, I was at 232 and, wow. Wow. Can I tell you something? When you get up and you are winded from brushing your teeth, you are a little out of shape. You are a little out of shape.
STU: When you have trouble lifting your leg up to get on top of the scale to weigh yourself?
PAT: I find for me I'm deceptively sexy at about 495.
GLENN: Are you really?
PAT: Yeah. I carry it well, you know?
STU: How much do you have to lose to get down to 495?
PAT: To get down to 495? About 312 pounds.
STU: I need to lose about 250.
STU: To get down to 495 right now.
GLENN: So I started exercising and, you know, I just hate it so much.
PAT: What exercise did you do?
STU: Yeah, you didn't
PAT: Come on, you did not exercise.
GLENN: Yeah, I did. I used the Stairmaster.
STU: You went in that room?
GLENN: I went in that room.
PAT: What time day was it? I'm in there all the time.
GLENN: Mercury built we built here in New York City at great union expense, we built a gym in here for everybody to use a gym. It's the most underused room.
PAT: By everybody you mean no one. Nobody uses that room.
GLENN: No, no. Kevin, Kevin does.
PAT: Oh, two people use the room.
STU: Liz does, right?
GLENN: Yeah. We have 30 employees now and two people use it. Count them, three. I've used
STU: This is like a government program.
STU: It's like we spent a ton of money for something almost no one uses.
GLENN: But we should because it would drive down our healthcare expenses.
GLENN: (Laughing). I'm going to start penalizing people in their paychecks. How many Twinkies did you have?
STU: I like this.
GLENN: But so I started, you know, using the Stairmaster and
STU: How did that go for you?
GLENN: That was good.
STU: Was it like walking up stairs because that sucks. I don't know if anyone else has noticed that. Great
PAT: That's why there's elevators.
GLENN: Somebody on the staff said, I just want to get this clear, Glenn. Because they asked me, what piece of equipment did you use? They were quizzing me, what piece of equipment did you use? Which one is that? What does it look like? Where's that room? Where is the gym in this building? I had all kinds of and I said, I used the, used the Stairmaster and they said, so let me ask you a question. You spent 20 minutes walking on a device that similarities walking upstairs when you could do that for free because you work and you are on the 40th floor of a building. And I said, you know what? If you want to strap a television to your back and walk in front of me, then maybe I'll consider it.
STU: Pat, there's actually one little piece of breaking news here and I could be wrong. I don't have 100% of the knowledge. This is what you were talking about last week. The case isn't 100% ready to be made, but I don't believe there is a Stairmaster in that room. Can anyone back me up on that? We're getting nos here from the whole crew. There is no Stairmaster in that room! I will go in there. I'm going in there right now.
GLENN: Go in there right now.
STU: I'm going in there right now.
PAT: There really is.
GLENN: Oh, it's an elliptical. Oh, yeah, Stu, it's an elliptical. Do you expect me to know the difference between a Stairmaster and an elliptical? Please. We're waiting, we're waiting.
PAT: If you used it, we expect you to know the difference.
GLENN: I didn't know the difference between it.
PAT: If you used it, you'd know the difference.
GLENN: Here he comes.
STU: There is no Stairmaster in that room!
GLENN: It's an elliptical. I used the brown thing, you know, the brown machine in there.
STU: You are so you know so little about exercise, you can't even name the equipment properly.
GLENN: Yeah. I mean, yes.
PAT: Glenn Beck lies so much, darling. He doesn't even know when he's lying anymore.
GLENN: (Laughing). It was the one that I said, my wife, I said honey, I can't exercise. It hurts my knees. And she said, then get this machine. It looks complex. I actually stood on that damn thing. It's so complex
STU: The elliptical?
GLENN: Yeah. It's got so many buttons on it, I'm just like, I just want to walk, just want to walk and that's when the worm over in the corner said why don't you just use the stairs. Shut up! Exercise does not put me in a good mood. Just doesn't
STU: It's a terrible process, I think we can all agree on that, even when you don't have a Stairmaster to do it.