GLENN: It's a weird election cycle, you know? And you know why it is? This is the first time that there has been no incumbent running since 1928. A little while later in the program I'm going to give you the similarities between this election and 1928 and it will boggle your mind. But going back and looking and trying to find anything that fits this pattern, we had to go back to 1928. That's the last time there was no incumbent running. It's also weird because neither of the top two favorite candidates going in for the Republicans has finished first in either Iowa or New Hampshire. Just an ADD moment. It's also kind of weird because there aren't many true conservatives running, but that's a different story.
Rudy Giuliani is running at or near the top of most national polls for the Republicans, yet somehow or another he's an afterthought. Somehow or another people are like... Rudy Giuliani. And he's waiting for Florida and the other primaries. May prove to be a great strategy. When you see what's going on -- because John McCain, please, are you going to vote for John McCain? Has New Hampshire convinced you that, well, maybe we should give John McCain a second look? Are you going to vote for Mike Huckabee? Now, maybe you will, but I don't think, I don't think the rest of the country is going to vote for Mike Huckabee just like they didn't in New Hampshire. I thought where he finished in New Hampshire is where he would finish nationally. He will do better in the South but so will Fred Thompson. Rudy Giuliani will finish better in New York, California. I mean, the Rudy Giuliani strategy may prove to be brilliant because everybody else, by the time we get to the Super Tuesday, you're probably going to have Fred Thompson winning South Carolina, you'll have McCain winning New Hampshire, you'll have Huckabee winning Iowa and you'll have Romney probably winning in Michigan. Is he still at the top of the polls in Michigan? So there will be no clear winner and it will be time for Rudy Giuliani to swoop in and say, hey.
But let me ask you. If you are listening in Iowa or New Hampshire, why are you not voting for Rudy Giuliani or Fred Thompson, for that matter? These guys are doing well in national polls. Why? Is it because New Hampshire thinks that Fred Thompson is 1/11th as good of a President as the rest of the nation does? Is that what it is? Or is New Hampshire mad at him because, you know, he doesn't come to your cute little primary party often enough? Is it because these guys didn't stop by the local diner and have waffle and eggs with people enough? Is it because they didn't have a town hall meeting and didn't cry (crying.) Oh, you know what? I bet it's because they didn't call your house with one of those really cool recorded voice messages: "Hi, I'm Rudy Giuliani; I love Iowa, I love corn, I love cornfields. Please vote for me. A vote for me is a vote for corn and a vote for corn is a vote for Iowa. Remember on election day vote for Rudy Giuliani, the candidate of corn." Would that have helped?
Did John McCain not come to Iowa and show, you know, his pheasant hunting prowess enough? What is it? Why is he fourth in Iowa and first in New Hampshire? And for some reason we just can't accept that if a candidate doesn't campaign in a state, he shouldn't get any votes. Maybe in 1822 it was valid but I don't think you need to shake Mike Huckabee's hand to know where he stands on the issues. The information is everywhere. I need to meet Mike Huckabee to know?
You know what, I've met all of the candidates except for one. Mitt Romney. Never met the guy. Did I meet him? Oh, I just met -- yeah, you're right. I met him a couple of weeks ago. Met him a couple of weeks ago. But not like sit down and have him in my living room. I happened to be at one of his speeches and he walked by in the aisle and he's like, Glenn, how are you? Mitt, good, how are you? Good. We should talk sometime. Yeah, bye-bye.
You know, I understand that you guys in Iowa and New Hampshire get the royal treatment for a few weeks, you know, where Aunt Millie and Uncle Bob are having the candidates over for dinner. "Why don't you come over, Rudy Giuliani's going to be here." We're voting for the President of the United States of America. Not the nicest house guest award. What is up with that? And if you guys keep screwing around, we're seriously going to think about changing the system. I mean, John McCain? John McCain, where does that name ring a bell? Oh, McCain/Feingold, McCain/Kennedy. McCain/Kennedy, have you forgotten? McCain/Lieberman where he has said he will sign global treaties that will sign away our sovereignty over global warming! The guy voted against the Bush tax cuts. Yeah, not so much. I mean, unless this is the Green Party primary. Don't let the dinner visits and the town hall meetings go to your head. I thought better of you, Iowa. I really -- no, I did. You disappointed me. New Hampshire, I mean, I expect -- you tried to play this -- you know, you pulled this McCain thing once before. I mean, what's the deal? Does McCain have pictures of, like, you with Canada or something? I mean, what's with the McCain fascination? You keep this up, I'm telling you, I say we dissolve the Vermont/New Hampshire border, just make you part of Vermont. Yeah, you'll be only known for syrup. And not even your syrup. Their syrup. I'll leave the charge. What makes you so hotter than Vermont anyway? Seriously. Vermont, you should get pissed off about this. New Hampshire gets the royal treatment once every four years. What do you get? You are treated like a fatty at prom time. That's what's happening to you, Vermont, and it's New Hampshire's fault.
Don't you hate it when people divide us just for political reasons? I'm just sayin', Vermont, that's what New Hampshire's trying to do. I'm just -- no, I'm just, just being open with you.