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GLENN: Now, I want you to hear this audio. This is a mother crying about her son
PAT: Two of them. Two of them.
GLENN: It's sad. Now it's a double whammy. Now it's twice as sad.
PAT: Yeah.
GLENN: Two children that did not have access to broadband. Here it is.
LOCKLEAR: My name is Rhonda Locklear. I'm from Pembroke, and I'm a member of the Lumbee tribe of North Carolina.
PAT: Did you get that? She's a member of the Lumbee tribe of North Carolina.
GLENN: I love the Lumbee tribe.
LOCKLEAR: I have two children and like any mother, I want the best for my boys.
PAT: Like any mother.
GLENN: Don't make fun of her.
PAT: I'm sorry.
LOCKLEAR: Jacob, my oldest, is a transfer student to UNC Pembroke and Isaac is in the eighth grade at Pembroke middle school. Like most families across the state who either don't have access to high speed Internet or who can't afford it, we were stuck with dial up service.
GLENN: Oh, no! Stop it!
PAT: Yes.
GLENN: No, no!
PAT: Stuck with this, until just two months ago!
GLENN: No, I won't
PAT: Dial up!
GLENN: I will not hear.
PAT: Dial up!
GLENN: I will not hear of
PAT: In this country!
GLENN: In the richest country in the world!
PAT: Best, neatest, most amazing, not the best but the
GLENN: No, no.
PAT: Neatest?
GLENN: No, one that has made so many terrible mistakes.
PAT: Mostly crappy, technologically superior, though.
GLENN: Not superior.
PAT: Not superior?
GLENN: Not superior.
PAT: To anyone wet.
GLENN: Only superior because we rape the rest of the world.
PAT: Right.
GLENN: But we don't we have somebody that has dial up. Hang on. It gets worse.
PAT: In this country.
GLENN: No, it goes no, listen.
PAT: Hang on.
LOCKLEAR: I feel that this has put my family, my sons in particular
PAT: Get this.
LOCKLEAR: at a severe disadvantage.
STU: No, no.
LOCKLEAR: Isaac depends on the Internet to complete his assignments for school. He often uses the internet to work on reports or often at times to just do research.
STU: Research, that's it!
LOCKLEAR: I watch him struggle with the dial up service and observed him get frustrated.
GLENN: Stop, stop! I watch him struggle with the dial up service!
PAT: As he tries to download the pages. Come on!
GLENN: I can't... take it.
STU: (Laughing).
PAT: Can I tell you something?
GLENN: Where is my grandfather?
PAT: You and I were together when we struggled with the pages downloading when we had 14.4 modem? Remember that?
GLENN: Yeah.
PAT: (Making staticy noises). And at that radio station, I think AOL was about the only thing going and you would start loading a page and you'd leave and you'd come back in 15 minutes when it's done.
GLENN: Now imagine, imagine trying to do
PAT: Imagine it now trying to do a project.
GLENN: Why are you making fun of her?
PAT: I'm not.
GLENN: Yes, you are.
PAT: I'm not.
GLENN: Yes, you are.
PAT: I'm trying to empathize with her. I can't even empathize.
STU: I can't even tell when it's the audio or when it's him, it's so
GLENN: I'm trying to just wonder where our grandparents went to. Did where our grandparents go?
STU: Well, they had DSL.
GLENN: No, no. No, no.
PAT: We're in library deserts now.
STU: At T3.
GLENN: I mean where did our grandparents go and they left us without a boot in the ass. Because there's a few people that need some of those boots in their ass. And you know what? Quite honestly she may be one of them.
PAT: May? I'm sorry. Did I hear the word "May" come out of your mouth?
GLENN: I mean, can you imagine? Can you imagine if you would have gone at least maybe my grandfather was different. If I would have gone to my grandfather and said, grandpa, I'm just struggling with this dial up service.
STU: (Laughing).
GLENN: He would have said
PAT: A guy who grew up in the Depression.
GLENN: "Get the hell away from me and go do your homework." That's what he would have said.
PAT: Pick up an encyclopedia. There are things called books.
GLENN: How about a library? I don't know how far she is from a library but how about a library?
PAT: She might be in a library desert.
STU: Or an Internet cafe desert.
PAT: Right.
STU: She could easily in an Internet cafe and you are making fun of her.
PAT: She could easily be in an Internet cafe desert.
GLENN: I don't think any of this is necessary.
PAT: You want to hear the rest?
GLENN: Yes, go ahead.
PAT: It's good. It will get even more horrific.
LOCKLEAR: Because he cannot move around on the Web like he likes.
GLENN: No, not like he likes.
STU: He likes to go around on the Web quickly and he could not do that.
PAT: He could not surf the porn sites that he likes to surf.
LOCKLEAR: Seemingly easy assignments took him hours to complete.
GLENN: Hours.
STU: Pictures of Megan Fox took him hours to download.
PAT: One naked lady took him an hour and a half to have it load on the Web.
GLENN: I don't think this is necessary.
LOCKLEAR: It is hard to watch. Isaac got very upset.
PAT: When all he could see was her forehead.
GLENN: Hang on just a second.
PAT: And he was waiting and waiting for the chestal area to appear.
STU: (Laughing).
PAT: And it took hours at a time for that Web to download it.
STU: (Laughing).
PAT: I wept as I watched him try to drool as those pictures would not load onto that page. I love it when people can make
GLENN: Do not, please
PAT: five syllables out of a monosyllabic work.
GLENN: Do not encourage him. This is not helpful.
STU: You are right. I'm sorry.
GLENN: I'm putting it
PAT: Once it started loading her feet from the bottom up and he waited four and a half days until the knees appeared. By the time it got to her hips, he realized she was in a miniskirt and he was so upset, he wept as I did as well.