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GLENN: From high above Times Square in Midtown Manhattan, we go right to the Gulf where we have Stu on site. Is it you, Stu, or
GLENN: Stu, are you there?
STU: Can you hear me?
GLENN: Yes, I am.
STU: Over the waves?
GLENN: You are wow, it sounds like quite a bad storm or something.
STU: Quatters out here, Glenn.
STU: And that's, of course, because of a massive ecological disaster going on right now.
GLENN: Well, it is a massive disaster that's going to affect the entire Gulf but what are you bringing to us now that's
STU: Fascinating new information, Glenn. Let's look back at the timeline here for a second. The oil disaster happens on April 20th and then really nothing from the White House.
GLENN: Okay, wait a minute. Are you doing what the New York Times is doing, saying that
STU: What's that?
GLENN: That Obama is
STU: Am I
GLENN: Just didn't show up soon enough?
STU: Am I reporting the news? Yes, I am.
GLENN: Go ahead, go ahead.
STU: So April 20th it happens and nothing happens for a couple of days. April 22nd President Obama delivers a speech about Wall Street. Also another one about the contributions of Earth day to environmental awareness.
GLENN: Hang on just a second.
GLENN: Okay, go ahead. I just, have like break crumbs in your pocket or something?
PAT: I do have a submarine sandwich here.
GLENN: All right, go ahead.
STU: That I as you can tell, these
GLENN: Birds are very
STU: Birds are very hungry.
GLENN: Anyway, go ahead.
STU: Then on the 23rd he was talking about illegal immigration. On the 24th he was talking in his weekly radio address, he was talking about Wall Street and then encouraging African Americans, Latinos and Hispanics to come out and vote for him. Then on the 26th he was talking about his Vote 2010 video and again appealing to those same groups with their votes in November. And then finally
GLENN: So what is your point here?
STU: Then on the 28th he was talking about immigration in an impromptu press conference in Air Force One and I think we can kind of put A and B and 1 plus 1 together and come out with 2AB and I think we understand here what's going on.
GLENN: I don't even understand what you are even talking do you follow him?
PAT: Not at all.
GLENN: What are you saying? What are you implying?
STU: Are the seagulls too loud? Are you not hearing me?
GLENN: I'm not understand what you are what are you driving at?
STU: What I'm saying is it's blatantly obvious that Barack Obama has State of New York he would underneath the oil platform and while he was down there lit a bomb to cause the initial explosion meant to target guild citizens and feathered friends of fowl. Listen
GLENN: So hang on just a second.
STU: Don't sound like you are agreeing with me.
GLENN: Are you saying that the president of the United States
GLENN: Blew up the oil rig?
STU: I am saying that, Glenn.
GLENN: It sounds as ridiculous as Dick Cheney blew up the World Trade Center and George Bush blew up the levees.
STU: Ridiculous? Is that what you are saying? Maybe you are tied into it, Mr. Beck. Maybe you had something to do with it, too. I don't know. But what I will say is we spoke to Charlie the Tuna who will now forever be known for his important statement that we will not bother to refute in any meaningful way. He said, quote: Barack Obama doesn't care about fish people, end quote.
PAT: Charlie Tuna said that?
STU: Charlie the Tuna said that. We now have an organization
PAT: How did you
STU: I have a grassroots organization that is
PAT: I mean, StarKist wouldn't even hook. How did you
GLENN: Where did you
PAT: Where did you come up with this statement from him?
GLENN: And now there's a grassroots organization with Charlie the Tuna?
STU: A grassroots organization has been founded of completely grassroots, no connections to any sort of cause whatsoever, just a bunch of citizens getting together. They are now printing T shirts that say Charlie the Tuna was right. This group of completely grassroots, not connected to the political party
GLENN: You know what this sounds
STU: In any way!
GLENN: This kind of sounds like Kanye West and Van Jones' organization.
STU: I'm not familiar with those two, Glenn, but I will say that this group of completely disconnected people coming together randomly in a pattern that just seems to be connected to every political organization you've ever heard of in your entire life, completely metaphysical
GLENN: Right, right.
STU: That brought these people together, they are now boycotting the Chris Matthews show.
GLENN: Do they have
STU: Yes. And, of course, they did have to later be informed that the American people are already decided to boycott the Chris Matthews show.
GLENN: Do they have any evidence or do you have any evidence of Barack Obama actually snorkeling with explosive to blow up the oil rig?
STU: Ummm great do we even know that he can snorkel?
STU: We don't have any actual footage of him snorkling. There are people around the world who are trying to silence the people who are bringing up theories against this, but as of right now, I mean, can you listen to these seagulls. Would they be this loud and interruptive if this wasn't already
GLENN: Keep stalling because they are interrupting.
PAT: I think they would be, probably.
STU: You think they would?
PAT: Yeah, I do.
GLENN: I think so, too.
GLENN: I think even the seagulls knew that Bush didn't blow up the levees and Barack Obama what did Charlie say?
STU: He said Barack Obama
GLENN: Doesn't hate fish people.
STU: Doesn't care about fish people.
GLENN: Yeah, doesn't care about fish people.
STU: Yeah. I just wanted to thank the seagulls for finally starting to talk again.
GLENN: Thank you very much, down at the oh, boy.
PAT: Down at the gulf, wasn't he?
PAT: He's going to have a hard time getting back.
GLENN: You know, that's honestly it's coming. It's coming. That kind of nonsense is coming. That kind of nonsense of Bush blew up the levees, Barack Obama or his operatives blew up this oil platform. It's coming. Now, how is it going to be used? That's the real conspiracy. And it won't be a conspiracy. I can guarantee you that people in the White House are looking at this emergency and seeing how it can be used. And they are going to do everything they can with these environmental groups to shut everything down. You'll have $5 a gallon gasoline this summer. And then what is that going to do to the economy? "Well, I didn't do it, but it's this old energy think." Uh huh.