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GLENN: I would like to play an ad for you and ask you if it's just me that is really creeped out by this. This is an ad from Pennsylvania and, you know, we'll have to post this, put this in the free e mail newsletter today. We'll have to post this ad and see what you think of it because it's even more effective with video. But here it is, from Pennsylvania.
VOICE: Your name is Tom. You live just off of fifth Street. Nice car, Tom. Nice house. What's not so nice is you owe Pennsylvania $4,212 in back taxes. Listen, Tom. We can make this easy. Pay online by June 18th and we'll skip your penalty and take half off your interest. Because Tom, we do know who you are.
GLENN: Now, what they are showing here is they are showing satellite images high above the Earth and as they keep going, it almost has this target.
PAT: On Tom's house.
GLENN: I wonder if Sarah Palin made this.
PAT: The target of America seems to
GLENN: Are they saying that they are going to target and kill you? They are showing a target from space and it just keeps going in closer and closer and closer until you see the real live, you know, like Google Earth picture of Tom's house. Okay, I don't think the government should be making big brother state of the union kind of spooky predator drone kind of videos to let people know, "We know right where you are." That's really not a good thing. Is it just me?
STU: It might be just you because that seems completely rational.
PAT: It's reasonable.
STU: To me.
PAT: And not only should they make the predator
GLENN: We live in such an upside down world, I'm not sure if it is just me.
PAT: It is. It is.
STU: Completely.
Related Video: PA Tax Ad - We Know Who You Are! |
PAT: Because it's fine to do that, you know, with the predator strike sort of appearance and then it's kind of fun to make predator drone jokes, too, about it.
STU: They are hilarious. I love them.
PAT: About zooming in on, you know, innocent teenagers and killing them.
STU: Well, it's not only child molesters.
GLENN: Hang on just a second.
PAT: Well, you are right, you are right.
GLENN: But you would never have anybody actually do something like that. You would never have that.
PAT: Certainly not.
PRESIDENT OBAMA: The Jonas Brothers are here. They are out there somewhere. Sasha and Malia are huge fans but, boys, don't get any ideas. I have two words for you: Predator drones. You will never see it coming.
PAT: It will kill him!
GLENN: First of all
STU: Dirty child molesters.
GLENN: First of all, I'm going to do what the left would never do with me and give him the benefit of the doubt that that is a joke. This is a joke. It's a
STU: I don't see it. He's inciting violence on teenagers! Why?
PAT: Yes, on the Jonas Brothers. First of all, he's calling them child molesters which they objected to.
GLENN: Hang on just a second. Hang on. I am going to give the president the benefit of the doubt.
PAT: No, no.
GLENN: Because I'm a rational human being.
STU: We don't know what he meant by that. He might have been firing
GLENN: I know.
STU: He may have made an order to bomb the Jonas Brothers right then. We don't know.
PAT: He may have.
GLENN: He surrounds himself with Marxist communist revolutionaries and I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt.
PAT: Don't do it, Glenn, because he's dangerous.
GLENN: So here is, here is the part that I do have a problem with.
PAT: That's dangerous rhetoric. I've never seen this kind of thing before! It was back in the Seventies in Vietnam that they
GLENN: Done by the left! Done by the left!
PAT: I know.
GLENN: Anyway, here's where I don't excuse him.
PAT: All right.
GLENN: Can Mom stop calling her little daughter fat and Dad stop saying that people are ogling his underage girls for sexual purposes.
PAT: What are they, 10 and 13, I think? 9 and 12, 10 and 13? It's just like, they are way too young to be talking like that. And the other thing is, is the Huffington Post going to make a big deal? Barack Obama threatens to kill the Jonas Brothers family! Kill them with predator drones! Glenn Beck's going to slaughter Americans and Barack Obama's going to kill the Jonas Brothers! Come on! Where are they on this?
GLENN: If I read one more time from something I said in a comedy routine about, what, five years ago about Michael Moore, I don't know, I'm thinking I mean, they are still running that damn stuff.
STU: Oh, sure.
PAT: Oh, man.
GLENN: But did anybody say anything about the predator drones?
PAT: No.
STU: And you're a schlub! He's the president!
GLENN: I have a chance, I have a chance of doing anything to Michael Moore? No! Could he send a predator drone to the Jonas Brothers' house? Yes! Is he going to? No!
STU: We don't know that. We don't know that. That's dangerous rhetoric, dangerous rhetoric.
PAT: And maybe Keith Olbermann should be looking into this tonight: Mr. President, thou doth vistages of violence hath wrought!
GLENN: You are fascist, fascist! No, he wouldn't do that on this president, just the last one.
PAT: No, just the last one.
GLENN: Fascist, Mr. President! Is he still on the air?
PAT: No.
OLBERMANN: Mr. Bush, you are a fascist. Get them to print you a T shirt with fascist on it!
GLENN: That is so clever, every time he says that.
STU: He's a fascist, he should wear
GLENN: Wear a T shirt that says fascist on it.
PAT: That is so funny.
GLENN: I'm going to use this tonight. If I see anybody who's overweight, more overweight than me, I'm going to say, you are a fatty and you need a T shirt that says fatty!
STU: That's good.
GLENN: That is so clever.
STU: But when you accuse someone of something and then say they should be wearing a T shirt of that something, that is the
GLENN: So good.
PAT: It's the height of cleverness.
GLENN: That's so good. This guy, this guy
OLBERMANN: God forgive you.
GLENN: This terrorist suspect that we just nabbed, he's a terrorist, and he should have a T shirt that says terrorist on it! That's so clever.
STU: That's really good because then you identified the name of it.
GLENN: That's something, I want you to know that's not something that just came off the top of my head. If I were Keith Olbermann, I would have had all day.
PAT: Oh, you'd have been thinking about it all day, you bet.
GLENN: All day, maybe days in a monologue like that, that it's been percolating. . I'm going to end it with, you're a fascist and you need a T shirt have printed that has the word fascist on it. And all my friends would go, that is so funny.
PAT: Wow, you nailed him.
GLENN: You are so funny!
STU: Speak truth to power, my friends.
PAT: What a burn, yo.
GLENN: Pat, you've got a beard and you should have somebody print a T shirt that says, I have a beard on it!
PAT: I have a beard! Ooh!
STU: Oh!
PAT: That's like your momma... wait.
GLENN: (Laughing). So listen.
PAT: Stupid.
GLENN: I just want you to know, pay your taxes or they know where you are. Don't think about the president's daughters, which you shouldn't be thinking about the president's daughters, or they'll send a predator drone to your house.
Now, on a separate issue let's seriously talk about wiping out the Jonas Brothers for completely unrelated reasons.
STU: That's dangerous rhetoric!
PAT: Kill the Jonas Brothers?!
GLENN: You're a fascist! Why don't you just have a T shirt with the word fascist printed on it.
PAT: Actually this may end my career. I actually like the Jonas Brothers. I actually like, and so do you. And I know you do because
STU: Wait, wait. Wait, you know what information?
PAT: I know that Glenn Beck actually likes
GLENN: Hold it
PAT: The Jonas Brothers. You are a fan! Get them to print a T shirt with "I'm a Jonas Brothers fan" on it.
GLENN: Do not become anti government. Remember what we are all supposed to do.
MICHELLE OBAMA: And Barack knows that we are going to have to make sacrifices, we are going to have to change our conversation, we're going to have to change our traditions, our history.
GLENN: Our history.
MICHELLE OBAMA: We're going to have to move into
GLENN: I may have liked the Jonas Brothers at one point.
PAT: We're changing that history?
GLENN: I'm changing that history.
PAT: Okay.
GLENN: Because I'm a fascist and I have a T shirt that has fascist... (mumbling)
STU: (Laughing).