STU: Alvin Greene.
PAT: Alvin Greene.
GLENN: Oh. Not the singer?
PAT: No. See, that's the mistake that apparently a lot of people are making.
GLENN: All right. So, tell this story here.
PAT: One of the local TV stations went out and interviewed some people because everybody's confused about this Alvin Greene guy. He's a person who -- am I keeping you awake?
GLENN: Yeah, you are. Can you tell the story a little more exciting than this?
PAT: Should I be quiet and let you get a little nappy?
GLENN: No. So far, the way you're telling it --
PAT: I got five words out of my mouth, you know.
GLENN: Go ahead. I'm just trying to do to you what you bring to the table for me every single day.
PAT: You have no idea what I bring to the table.
GLENN: No. Neither do the listeners, but, anyway, go ahead.
PAT: Oh, they know, my friend. So, anyway, Alvin Greene had no campaign. He literally did not one official fund racer. He didn't do one official event. There was no media, there were no advertisements. He spent no money. $10,000 to register, sign up, or whatever.
GLENN: And isn't he a criminal?
PAT: Well, he's charged with -- he's got a porn charge on his record and --
GLENN: What's a porn charge?
STU: He showed porn to an unwilling participant and asked her back to the apartment.
PAT: You know, but who among us --
STU: But who among us haven't --
GLENN: An unwilling participant? What kind of a great move that is. Let me tie you to the chair. Let's watch porn and then we can go back to my place?
STU: There was no tieing. He just asked nicely, I'm sure. He seemed like quite a gentleman.
PAT: He seems like a very confused, nice guy, and so now the media --
GLENN: Where did he get $10,000 to --
PAT: Nobody knows. He said it was his and --
GLENN: A guy who --
PAT: Life savings.
GLENN: -- offered an evening of porn --
STU: We don't know it was the whole evening.
GLENN: A few minutes of porn.
GLENN: Is usually not the guy who's got, like, $10,000 lying around.
STU: That's a broad generalization and I would say --
GLENN: But it is my experience that guys like this, to quote the President -- go ahead.
PAT: So, James Clyburn, the powers that be in South Carolina are all hacked off because this guy has no chance of beating Dement. It's not like the other guy had any chance.
PAT: So, anyway, the TV station went out and they interviewed at least one of these people to find out, why did you vote for Alvin Greene and here's what one of them said.
VOICE: I voted for him because his name sounded like the singer and I had never heard of Vic Rawl.
PAT: His name sounded like the singer, Al Green from the Seventies, and she had never heard of Vic Rawl.
GLENN: Is it Lou Rawls?
PAT: That's another singer.
GLENN: That's a tough contest. Al Green -- not for me. It's Al Green over Lou Rawls.
PAT: Oh, you've to be kidding.
GLENN: No. Yeah. It's Al Green over Lou Rawls.
PAT: Oh, no. It's Lou Rawls over Al Green every time.
PAT: Every day.
GLENN: Give me a little Al Green.
PAT: This is Al Green. (Music playing.)
GLENN: Oh, yeah. Oh, I want this guy in Congress. This guy -- can you tell me -- don't you want somebody who's walking up to the podium -- you'll be, like, all right, $130 trillion debt, whatever. Over Lou Rawls?
PAT: Lou Rawls. (Music playing.) Now, this is smooth. This --
GLENN: This is you trapped in your house with your mother's radio.
GLENN: That's what it is.
PAT: My mother would never have listened to Lou Rawls. She was a --
GLENN: She's that unhip?
PAT: Yeah. She was an Eddie Arnold, Jim Reeves type of chick.
GLENN: Whoa, whoa!
PAT: Yeah. So --
GLENN: How did they even let you in through the tunnel of New York?
PAT: I don't know. I don't know.
GLENN: Wow. No. I mean, Lou Rawls isn't bad. I'm saying if I had to vote, I would be, like --
PAT: You would go Al Green?
GLENN: Yeah. Of course I would.
PAT: So, you understand how this guy got elected?
STU: After that evidence, I think I would go Al Green, too.
PAT: Seriously? Sarah, Al Green or Lou Rawls?
SARAH: No contest, Al Green.
GLENN: You grew up in some type of prison-like atmosphere where Lou Rawls turned out -- I mean, Lou Rawls was good and Al Green turned out to be bad. You're a psycho. You're a danger to society and yourself.