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GLENN: I think this should be Christine O'Donnell's new theme: And now, Christine O'Donnell is... bewitched, with Robert Gibbs as Dr. Bombay, Lindsey Graham, a man who's living a lie pretending he's something he's not as Darrin Stephens. And Agnes Moorehead as... Nancy Pelosi.
PAT: Might make a good Uncle Arthur, too.
GLENN: Uncle Arthur, I don't remember Uncle Arthur.
PAT: You don't remember Uncle Arthur played by Paul Lynde? Come on, you do remember.
GLENN: I do remember. I'm trying to remember what his
PAT: I'll have to find a clip --
GLENN: I thought Darrin Stephens you know, Lindsey Graham is just pretending he's something that he's not. And isn't that what Darrin Stephens did?
PAT: Pretty much, yeah.
GLENN: He's pretending that he's, "What? No, I'm a Republican. Witches? What? No, no. No, I'm not for big government, uh uh, not me. Come on, just twitch your nose. Just make a huge giant government, will you?" Anybody have a problem with her witchhood?
STU: I don't.
PAT: Yeah, I do.
STU: I mean, she's in high school. She is says she got into it because she went on a date and she didn't even know she was going. This is before she was a candidate. It was she talked about it in 1996 and she was talking about it then in those sort of dismissive terms, I, you know, barely, you know I showed up, I dabbled and all this other nonsense. It's so stupid.
PAT: It was more than a date, though. She dabbled in it. She admits she dabbled in it, right?
GLENN: Play the music again while we talk about it.
PAT: She dabbled in witchcraft and then she says, for instance, she said this is real stuff. I'm not making this up. Like I went on a date, one of my first dates with a guy was or she said with a witch was when we went to a, I think they had a picnic at a Satanic altar. That's a little creepy. That was a long time ago.
STU: She said she didn't know it when she went on that, that's where they were going.
GLENN: To the Satanic altar?
STU: Yeah, she didn't know.
GLENN: Did she have a followup date? That's the question. I mean, if you bring a guy okay. So your first date is so a Satanic altar. First of all, guy, what are you doing? I mean, what are you going to top that with?
STU: You feel like yeah.
GLENN: I mean, the first time you brought me to a Satanic altar, now we're going to a movie?
PAT: Second date has to be chicken sacrifices.
STU: Human sacrifice, and then
GLENN: So you got that going for you, which is really spooky.
PAT: That is spooky.
STU: It's not real I could be completely off base here but when is Satanism, generally speaking when you are talking about in high school, actually based on the following of Satan or
GLENN: I agree with you, Stu. May I just say I agree with you. It's nothing. It means nothing.
STU: When you're in high school.
GLENN: You are exactly right.
PAT: Exactly right.
STU: Come on.
GLENN: Earlier the better. Youthful indiscretions all the way up to 60.
PAT: That's exactly right.
STU: Like, for example, everyone who did a Ouija board back in high school is now out of
PAT: Nothing wrong with Beelzebub, nothing wrong.
GLENN: Nothing wrong.
STU: Not acceptable as a candidate then?
GLENN: Yes, yes. No, look, here's the thing.
PAT: It's creepy.
STU: It is creepy.
PAT: It's tough to get over. As a Christian it's difficult to overcome.
GLENN: But if you did have the conversion can I tell you something?
STU: Look at the crap you did. Nothing to do with Satanism but I mean, you've done probably worse.
GLENN: ( as devil ) Let me tell you something. Beck was no matter how much I begged and pleaded, he was never at the Satanic altar, and I'll never forgive him for that.
STU: That's because he was too evil for the Satanic altar.
GLENN: Look, here's the thing. Here's the thing. Personally I think I can see dirtbags coming a thousand miles away where others can't because I was a dirt bag. And so you are like, yeah, that might work on other people, not me, because I mastered that one. You know what I mean? So, you know, if you've bottomed out and you are like, yeah, I really did some horrible things and now, you know, I get it, that's fine. If you are at a Satanic altar, that's a couple of steps beyond witchcraft, dabbling in witchcraft. Is it just me?
PAT: No, it's creepy. It's creepy but she obviously converted to Christianity.
PAT: She obviously did I, she started SALT, which was Savior's Alliance for Lifting, I don't know.
GLENN: I don't know. I hate that word.
PAT: Whatever it was. But it was a great group and, you know, she changed.
GLENN: You can change.
PAT: It shows a, I don't know, boy, those are some huge swings in her life.
GLENN: But there's nothing wrong with huge swings in your life.
STU: High school. Remember you were 15 people are 15 years old in high school!
PAT: I never visited a Satanic altar!
GLENN: It doesn't matter! This argument was solved with Paul! Paul was Saul! He went and he persecuted the Christians. I mean, he was as bad as you could get.
PAT: Killed them.
GLENN: You can go to high school and be go to a Satanic altar on a date. That's not you know what? That's bad, but killing the Christians
PAT: That's kind of bad.
STU: Really bad.
GLENN: ( as devil ) I'd like to argue. I think that's actually not to bad.
GLENN: Kind of bad? That's really bad! And he had a conversion and look, it's Paul.
PAT: I know.
GLENN: So, you know, you can change your life. The question is
PAT: Could Paul have been elected a senator from Delaware. That's the question.
GLENN: Paul was
PAT: I'm not sure.
GLENN: I don't know. He was elected to be an apostle.
STU: If Paul was running against an avowed Marxist, then probably, yes, he could
PAT: There you go. There's your choice, Delaware.
GLENN: I just want to know
PAT: Marxist or former witch. I'm going with the former witch.
GLENN: Was she a good witch or a bad witch. That's what I want to know.
PAT: I think she was a good witch.
GLENN: If you were at a Satanic altar, you were a bad witch.
PAT: Again like to Stu's point on that, that was a date and I don't think she knew she was going there. Right?
STU: I mean, that's what she said. In a point where she didn't need to defend herself way before she was a candidate.
GLENN: Play the music again.
PAT: All right.
GLENN: I never saw the episode where
PAT: Samantha went to a Satanic altar? I didn't, either.
GLENN: But we never saw the dating years. We only saw after they were married.
PAT: We never saw Samantha in high school. She could have been there every night. I don't know. We did see her at covens, though. We saw her at covens.
GLENN: At covens? Really?
PAT: Yeah, she went to a coven meeting a couple of times. You know, but they seemed harmless.
GLENN: Thou shalt not coven.
STU: That's a little bit different the it's like unalienable, inalienable. They are actually different.
GLENN: Again I go back to, are you a good witch or a bad witch. I've never met a good Marxist and that's who she's running against. So I think I'd still go with a good witch. What does that mean?
PAT: No, just, I'm agreeing.
GLENN: No, it didn't sound like you were agreeing.
PAT: Sure, sure.
GLENN: Didn't sound like it. Did it sound like he was agreeing? You disagree? Say it.
PAT: No, I agree.
GLENN: No, you don't.
STU: No, you don't seem to agree. I would say you don't.
PAT: I told you I'm struggling a little bit with it but, yeah, I agree.
GLENN: I mean, I can understand how you would struggle. She went on a date to a Satanic altar. I mean
PAT: I was okay on, you know, the super stance on lying, I'm good with that. The pro not masturbating thing, I'm okay with that. Good.
GLENN: But see, that doesn't seem to --
PAT: The Satanic altar, getting a little bit of a struggle.
GLENN: So wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. She would -- can we get her on the phone.
PAT: Oh, that would be great.
GLENN: Can we get her on the phone?
STU: We can try.
GLENN: Let's see if we can try. Because look, everybody makes mistakes. Everybody does stupid stuff. Some more stupid than others. But I mean, I believe in pivot points. I would just like to know where her pivot point was. When would you go
PAT: That would be fascinating to hear.
GLENN: Yeah, it would.
PAT: She went from somebody who dabbled in witchcraft to, super Christian.
GLENN: Super Christian lady. So what happened?
STU: And some free advice for Christine O'Donnell.
GLENN: Don't take the phone call. Don't make the phone call.
STU: When the call comes in from the Glenn Beck, act like it's a Sunday show and cancel your appearance because something's going to go wrong. It's not going to turn out right. No, it's not going to turn out right. I'm just advising you as a member of this show not to take this interview.
PAT: As long as she's not a 9/11 Truther, she's perfectly fine.
GLENN: Or a devil worshipper. If she's a devil worshipper, she might also be in a wee bit of trouble.
GLENN: With not just show but the entire American population.
GLENN: With an exception of some that may be serving.
[NOTE: Transcript may have been edited to enhance readability - audio archive includes full segment as it was originally aired]