Christie domination continues

GLENN: Okay. So, here's our Chris Christie porn. Let's set this up in case you don't know. The xerox repairman has just come in and Chris Christie --

PAT: And he sits down with Chris Christie and, first of all, he knocks on the door, xerox repairman. Chris Christie says, come on in, and they sit down at the table and start talking on television.

GLENN: Right.

PAT: It's kind of weird.

GLENN: And then what happens is the Xerox repairman says --

PAT: He says, Hey, Chris, sure, you're doing some of these things in New Jersey but what about replicating this whole thing naturally, right?

VOICE: Can you replicate that at the Federal level, where you've got to answer to constituencies in San Francisco and Seattle and Chicago, it's not all in the Garden State?

CHRISTIE: Listen. It's much more difficult. I meant bigger government gets, the more difficult it is to change it and to manage it and so it's not easy. It won't be easy for anybody. It wouldn't be easy were President Obama if he wanted to change it to make it smaller. It's only easier for government to get bigger, because you're saying "yes" to somebody. It's hard to say "no," but we have to and so it will be hard on the Federal level. You're right, Carl. There's no question, but as I said before, they've now -- Republicans, my party, if we win the Congress, we've got to put up or shut up. This is it. We failed the last time.

PAT: Yeah.

CHRISTIE: We went away from our principles and paid for it and now the price is even higher if we don't.

PAT: Who else is saying that?

GLENN: Groovy mama.

PAT: Other than groovy mamas, baby.

GLENN: No one else.

PAT: No one. It's out of sight what, he said.

GLENN: It's very disturbing for you to speak to me about anything using that voice. Is that your inside voice?

PAT: That's my indoor voice.

GLENN: That's your bedroom.

PAT: Inside boudoir. That's right, groovy mama.

GLENN: Is the boudoir at your pad?

PAT: When I'm sitting down at the dinner table and say, Hey, groovy mama, why don't you pass me the salt? That's right, baby, just pick it up and bring it on over here. Back that salt on up. That's right, baby.

GLENN: Did you see what Chris Christie did on -- with -- with the Carly Fiorina?

PAT: No. With Meg Whitman.

GLENN: Meg Whitman?

PAT: Meg Whitman was being heckled and she's trying to handle had the situation and Christie walks over and lays the guy out.

CHRISTIE: Let me tell you this. Do you know what? It's people who raise your voices and yell and scream like you that are dividing this country. We're here to bring this country together, not to divide it.

GLENN: I think Chris Christie might be the next President of the United States.

PAT: Wow. Unfortunately he keeps saying he's not ready. That's going to be hard to -- you know, they'll use his own words against him if he changes his mind.

GLENN: I know. I think a lot of that -- those games are not going to play anymore.

PAT: You don't think so?

GLENN: I don't. Here's the latest.

PAT: I don't know if that's a game when he says I'm not ready and they said, This is what he said.

GLENN: Are you ready? Are you ready?

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: I'm not ready. We have seen four years of this man. We have seen what he has done to our foreign policy. We have seen what he has done to our economy. We've seen, also -- Chris Christie's the kind of guy who says we can also see what the Republicans did.

PAT: Uh-huh.

GLENN: I would rather have a plumber in here because a plumber has common sense and I may not be entirely -- I may not be all spiffed up and spot polished and thin, but I can do the job better than these clowns can. I think that connects.

PAT: He could do that, too.

GLENN: Yes, he could.

PAT: He's capable of that. He really is.


Legal scholar and famed criminal defense attorney Alan Dershowitz has a message for partisans dividing America: "A plague on both your houses." He voted for Hillary Clinton. He endorsed Joe Biden. He's a man who is basically the Forrest Gump of American judicial history.

Look up a big court case over the past few decades, and you'll probably see him standing in the background. He's represented notorious clients like Mike Tyson, Patty Hearst, Harry Reems, Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Epstein, and yes, Donald Trump. It's made him a target for both the left and right.

Alan also describes himself as a "civil libertarian," and that's probably why he and Glenn Beck get along despite their opposing political views. His story is like a history lesson, spanning half a century, and it just might be the key to bridging the political divide.

On this week's podcast, Alan explained that while he's a strong defender of the Constitution, he's never been a big fan of the Second Amendment. In the past he's called it absurd and outdated, and even today, he admits that he wouldn't have ingrained it into our Constitution if he was a framer. However, with the whole Bill of Rights under attack, he's now fully in defense of our right to bear arms. Because if the Second Amendment changes, any amendment could be next.

"I'm now a supporter of the Second Amendment. I don't want to change it. I don't want to change one word of it, because I'm afraid that if I get to change the Second Amendment, other people will get to change the First Amendment, and the Fifth Amendment," Alan said. "So, I am committed to preserving the Bill of Rights, every single word, every comma, and every space between the words."

Watch a clip from the full interview with Alan Dershowitz below:

Watch the full podcast below, on Glenn's YouTube channel, or on Blaze Media's podcast network.

Want to listen to more Glenn Beck podcasts?

Subscribe to Glenn Beck's channel on YouTube for FREE access to more of his masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, or subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Investigative reporter David Steinberg joined the radio program Monday, to explain how a new video may provide enough evidence to begin a FBI investigation into alleged illegal practices by Minnesota Rep. Ilhan Omar's campaign.

In the video, which was produced and released by Project Veritas, residents of Omar's community describe campaign teams that not only conduct illegal ballot harvesting practices but also pay people for their blank absentee ballots.

Steinberg told Glenn that, if these charges prove to be true, the federal government could bypass Omar's friend and protector, Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison. Could 2020 be the beginning of the end for Omar's political career?

Watch the video below to catch Glenn's conversation with David Steinberg:

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Mike Fratantuono is the manager of Sunset Restaurant in Glen Burnie, Maryland. He wrote in the Washington Post's COVID-19 series about the recent, heartbreaking loss of his business, a restaurant that has been in his family for "four generations and counting."

"I know this virus is real, okay? It's real and it's awful. I'm not disputing any of that," Mike wrote. "But our national hysteria is worse. We allowed the virus to take over our economy, our small businesses, our schools, our social lives, our whole quality of life. We surrendered, and now everything is infected."

On the radio program Monday, Glenn Beck reacted to Mike's letter, which he shared in full, adding his hope that those in government are ultimately held responsible for what he called the biggest theft of the Western world.

"This is the biggest theft of, not only money, but of heritage and of hope," Glenn said. "The United States government and many of the states are responsible for this, not you. And hopefully someday soon, we'll return to some semblance of sanity, and those responsible for this theft, this rape of the Western world, will be held responsible."

Watch the video below for more details:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

We did our homework over the weekend; we did the research so we can tell you what is likely coming from Senate Democrats regarding President Trump's Supreme Court Nominee Amy Coney Barrett. Based on our research and the anonymous people who have already come forward to talk about Coney Barrett's youth, these are the main shocking things you can expect Senate Democrats to seize on during the confirmation process…

A man has come forward under the banner of "#MenToo," to say that in second grade, Amy Coney Barrett and her best friend at the time, cornered him at a birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese and "injected him with a full dose of cooties." Which, if true, would obviously be disqualifying for serving on the highest court in the land.

Then there's a woman who says when she was nine-years-old, she lived on the same street as Amy Coney Barrett. She alleges that Coney-Barrett borrowed her VHS tape of Herbie Goes Bananas and did not return it for at least six months. And then when she did finally get the tape back, the woman says Coney Barrett did not even bother to rewind it. The FBI has interviewed at least two witnesses so far who say the tape was indeed not rewound and that it was very upsetting to the owner of the tape. Again, if true, this is troubling – clearly not the kind of integrity you want to see in a Supreme Court justice.

Apparently, in their elementary school days, they liked to drink milk – and lots of it.

The same neighbor also dropped a bombshell allegation about the drinking problem of Amy Coney Barrett and her closest friends. Apparently, in their elementary school days, they liked to drink milk – and lots of it. The neighbor says she "frequently" witnessed Coney-Barrett and her friends chugging entire cartons of milk – often Whole Milk, sometimes Chocolate Milk, occasionally both at the same time through a funnel.

Unfortunately, shooting-up cooties, injurious rewinding, and potential calcium-abuse are not even the worst of it.

A third person has now come forward, another man, and this is just reprehensible, it's hard to even fathom. But he alleges that in fourth grade, when they were around ten-years-old, Amy Coney Barrett and a group of "four or five of her friends" gang-GRAPED him on the playground during recess. He alleges the group of friends snuck uneaten grapes out of the cafeteria and gang-GRAPED him repeatedly in broad daylight. In other words, and I hate to have to spell this out because it's kind of graphic, but the group led by ten-year-old Amy Coney Barrett pelted this poor defenseless boy with whole grapes. He recalls them "laughing the whole time" as they were gang-GRAPING him.

He recalls them "laughing the whole time" as they were gang-GRAPING him.

Obviously, even if just one of these allegations is half-true, no Senator with a conscience could possibly vote to confirm Coney Barrett. When there is a clear pattern of destructive childhood behavior, it always continues into adulthood. Because people do not change. Ever.

Fortunately, for the sake of the Republic, Democrats plan to subpoena Coney Barrett's childhood diary, to see what, if any, insights it may provide into her calcium habits, as well as her abuse of illicit cooties and the gang-GRAPING incident.

We will keep you posted on the latest, but for now, it looks like Democrats will find plenty in the reckless pre-teen life of Amy Coney Barrett to cast doubt on her nomination. And if not, they can always fall back on her deranged preference for letting babies be born.

[NOTE: The preceding was a parody written by MRA writer Nathan Nipper.]