Get Broke and torture Stu



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PAT: Broke debuted yesterday, was released in stores everywhere. You can pick it up anywhere and everywhere books are sold, and if you do, there's a really good chance we could make something really cool happen. We have some goals and so if you go to the website it's GlennBeck.com, right, where you go?

STU: Actually the poll itself where you want to vote it is at Glenn's Facebook page.

PAT: You go to the Facebook page. So I don't know anything about that. That's Facebook.com?

STU: Yeah. If you search for Facebook Glenn Beck, or you can get to it through GlennBeck.com as well.

PAT: And there's a whole bunch of different choices there that if the book sells a certain amount of copies and it's a lot.

STU: Yeah.

PAT: It's a huge number. But if it sells a certain amount of copies, you can vote on what you would like to see happen.

STU: And, you know, I don't know that we actually agreed to do any of these things, but it seems like now that it's on the Internet, we're kind of locked into it.

PAT: Seems like it.

STU: And I don't like that pattern because my name is mentioned in many of them.

PAT: Many.

STU: I don't understand why. I didn't do anything to deserve that.

PAT: I don't know about that, but it is true your name is prominently displayed among the choices.

STU: It's not the support I was looking for actually.


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PAT: Stu, Stu must stand outside of the Today Show with a sign promoting Broke until it's been seen on TV. That could take a while because you know they're going to avoid you.

STU: Yes, they will. I must dress and act like Linda Douglass as I did on the Fox News Channel show.

PAT: I like that one a lot because you were very good at that.

STU: I was very good at it, and I had the she was the woman who was hired, she went from the shocking and incredible 180 from journalist to Obama administration spokesperson.

PAT: Yeah, wasn't that weird?

STU: Back to journalist.

PAT: Weird.

STU: How do you do it? I mean, you want to talk about someone who's versatile.

PAT: Yeah.

STU: That's really difficult. But yeah, she was the one pitching health care when that was coming out. And I did dress up as her on television and now they want me to do it for a radio show, which I don't understand exactly I mean, you don't even see me unless you're on Insider Extreme right now. So I don't know what the benefit of that would be.

PAT: Oh, subscriptions go through the roof.

STU: This is the thing.

PAT: Subscriptions go through the roof.

STU: See, this is the thing, Pat. We need to now that Glenn's not here, we have a one time opportunity to promote things that involve Glenn.

PAT: Yeah. This is my favorite, frankly the one that, Glenn must use five words chosen by fans in a radio or TV monologue. I would have to say both. You know, in a radio and a TV monologue.

STU: Okay, all right.

PAT: On a given day.

STU: You have to do at least TV.

PAT: So that would be really fun because then you see him work the words into, you know dumb words. I don't know, kumquat.

STU: Right.

PAT: And he's got to get that into a monologue during the TV show. It would be fantastic.

STU: And the best part of that is that I mean, because on radio he could throw Emmys, he's ridiculous all the time. But on television it's a little more serious, he's by himself.

PAT: Yeah.

STU: He's going to have to figure out a way to do it. And the five words are chosen by you, the fans. So if this one gets selected and this is the one I'm pushing for. I'm campaigning hard for this. We need to get out the vote to Glenn's Facebook page and vote for Glenn must use five words chosen by fans into a radio or TV monologue in a given day.

PAT: Like it.

STU: Because then Glenn we can choose the most awkward words. We can choose words that we Noel mispronounce.

STU: Antidisestablishmentarianism.

STU: We can choose that thing that you just said, we can say Managua, Nicaragua.

PAT: Managua, Nicaragua. We can say it five times, Managua, Nicaragua. And it can be a normal story. It could be yesterday four people were killed and three others injured in an explosion in Managua, Nicaragua.

STU: And then he has to use the word kumquat in the same sentence.

PAT: Or just have him say commerce sometime during the show.

STU: Commrece?

PAT: Commrece? Commrece? Commrece what?

STU: Intil?

PAT: Intil commrece stops in this country, or at least in Massachusetts.

STU: And Socia Security, Socia Security.

PAT: (Laughing).

STU: Social! Glenn, Social Security! Not Socia Security.

PAT: Socia Security was supposed to be solvent intil 2035 but now... because of bad commrece, it... it's not gonna be.

STU: Oh, there's so many.

PAT: Especially Massachusetts.

STU: Massachusetts. It's like he comes out and says mass... it's just Massachusetts...

PAT: We have to eat this up because we only have 21 more minutes. All right, 1 888 727 BECK.

STU: By the way, Pat, real quick.

PAT: Yeah.

STU: I did start reading Broke last night. I got it on my iPad because I refuse to carry around big books anymore. So now I have to wait and buy it even though I could get a copy from Glenn. But it's very interesting. I started reading actually part of, towards the end, the third section which is all about the solutions and things that we could do, dramatic things that we can do to move this, you know, this car that's in a ditch. I don't know if you understand this analogy, but there's a car in a ditch right now.

PAT: Yeah. Are there alligators in the ditch?

STU: And there's alligators in the ditch.

PAT: Oh, my gosh.

STU: And what's happening right now is our president seems to be filling the ditch with water while we're still stuck in the car.

PAT: Are there huns, and alligators while we're still stuck in the bottom of the ditch?

STU: I think there are huns. I think there are huns there.

PAT: Huns, Vikings and alligators.

STU: And Attila is in there, too.

PAT: Okay.

STU: And the bottom line is

PAT: Is he pulling the other way on the car?

STU: They are pushing us off a 2,000 foot cliff for some reason and we don't understand why. And it starts with, there are larger concepts which I like because politicians will always try to move, "Well, we're going to lower taxes .004% over the next 60 decades and that's their big bold plan.

PAT: That's what Obama did for 95% of all Americans.

STU: $4 a week, Pat, these people were offered $4 a week as long as they didn't have a business or

PAT: Well, you had to pay it back at the end of the year.

STU: Right.

PAT: But for a while it wasn't deducted from your check. It was a really cool extra 4 bucks. You could do whatever you wanted with.

STU: If you invested it

PAT: Buy a new house.

STU: You could make $4.03 at the end of the year.

PAT: Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. So

STU: But these are big and they are pretty

PAT: Stop your whining. You should be thanking him.

STU: Right. You should be.

PAT: You should.

STU: You should be and I don't know why they are not getting the credit they should. But the broke thing because these are things that actually could happen. The first thing I read was there are three constitutional amendments. Now, this is something we don't amendment the Constitution regularly, but there's no reason we couldn't make these three amendments, three amendments. That's all we're looking for, these three. Well, that's not all we're looking for, but their main three amendments that are bipartisan. Everyone should be supporting them.

PAT: Amendment 1.

STU: I don't have them in front of me. You want me to list? That's the book. You are supposed to read the book to get the amendments.

PAT: All right. Where can I get it?

STU: Amendment 1, keep cars out of ditches. No more ditch analogies, no more 2,000 foot ditch analogies.

PAT: Like that.

STU: No more careening. Al Franken can never use the word careening ever again, although he did it multiple times in his analogy.

PAT: Okay.

STU: So I don't think

PAT: But if I wanted to get the book, where would I get it?

STU: I would say GlennBeck.com/books

PAT: Hardware?

STU: Bookstores everywhere.

PAT: Is it available in the Home Depot?

STU: It's available at Home Depot in the fix it section.


 

Legal scholar and famed criminal defense attorney Alan Dershowitz has a message for partisans dividing America: "A plague on both your houses." He voted for Hillary Clinton. He endorsed Joe Biden. He's a man who is basically the Forrest Gump of American judicial history.

Look up a big court case over the past few decades, and you'll probably see him standing in the background. He's represented notorious clients like Mike Tyson, Patty Hearst, Harry Reems, Harvey Weinstein, Jeffrey Epstein, and yes, Donald Trump. It's made him a target for both the left and right.

Alan also describes himself as a "civil libertarian," and that's probably why he and Glenn Beck get along despite their opposing political views. His story is like a history lesson, spanning half a century, and it just might be the key to bridging the political divide.

On this week's podcast, Alan explained that while he's a strong defender of the Constitution, he's never been a big fan of the Second Amendment. In the past he's called it absurd and outdated, and even today, he admits that he wouldn't have ingrained it into our Constitution if he was a framer. However, with the whole Bill of Rights under attack, he's now fully in defense of our right to bear arms. Because if the Second Amendment changes, any amendment could be next.

"I'm now a supporter of the Second Amendment. I don't want to change it. I don't want to change one word of it, because I'm afraid that if I get to change the Second Amendment, other people will get to change the First Amendment, and the Fifth Amendment," Alan said. "So, I am committed to preserving the Bill of Rights, every single word, every comma, and every space between the words."

Watch a clip from the full interview with Alan Dershowitz below:

Watch the full podcast below, on Glenn's YouTube channel, or on Blaze Media's podcast network.

Want to listen to more Glenn Beck podcasts?

Subscribe to Glenn Beck's channel on YouTube for FREE access to more of his masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, or subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Investigative reporter David Steinberg joined the radio program Monday, to explain how a new video may provide enough evidence to begin a FBI investigation into alleged illegal practices by Minnesota Rep. Ilhan Omar's campaign.

In the video, which was produced and released by Project Veritas, residents of Omar's community describe campaign teams that not only conduct illegal ballot harvesting practices but also pay people for their blank absentee ballots.

Steinberg told Glenn that, if these charges prove to be true, the federal government could bypass Omar's friend and protector, Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison. Could 2020 be the beginning of the end for Omar's political career?

Watch the video below to catch Glenn's conversation with David Steinberg:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Mike Fratantuono is the manager of Sunset Restaurant in Glen Burnie, Maryland. He wrote in the Washington Post's COVID-19 series about the recent, heartbreaking loss of his business, a restaurant that has been in his family for "four generations and counting."

"I know this virus is real, okay? It's real and it's awful. I'm not disputing any of that," Mike wrote. "But our national hysteria is worse. We allowed the virus to take over our economy, our small businesses, our schools, our social lives, our whole quality of life. We surrendered, and now everything is infected."

On the radio program Monday, Glenn Beck reacted to Mike's letter, which he shared in full, adding his hope that those in government are ultimately held responsible for what he called the biggest theft of the Western world.

"This is the biggest theft of, not only money, but of heritage and of hope," Glenn said. "The United States government and many of the states are responsible for this, not you. And hopefully someday soon, we'll return to some semblance of sanity, and those responsible for this theft, this rape of the Western world, will be held responsible."

Watch the video below for more details:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

We did our homework over the weekend; we did the research so we can tell you what is likely coming from Senate Democrats regarding President Trump's Supreme Court Nominee Amy Coney Barrett. Based on our research and the anonymous people who have already come forward to talk about Coney Barrett's youth, these are the main shocking things you can expect Senate Democrats to seize on during the confirmation process…

A man has come forward under the banner of "#MenToo," to say that in second grade, Amy Coney Barrett and her best friend at the time, cornered him at a birthday party at Chuck-E-Cheese and "injected him with a full dose of cooties." Which, if true, would obviously be disqualifying for serving on the highest court in the land.

Then there's a woman who says when she was nine-years-old, she lived on the same street as Amy Coney Barrett. She alleges that Coney-Barrett borrowed her VHS tape of Herbie Goes Bananas and did not return it for at least six months. And then when she did finally get the tape back, the woman says Coney Barrett did not even bother to rewind it. The FBI has interviewed at least two witnesses so far who say the tape was indeed not rewound and that it was very upsetting to the owner of the tape. Again, if true, this is troubling – clearly not the kind of integrity you want to see in a Supreme Court justice.

Apparently, in their elementary school days, they liked to drink milk – and lots of it.

The same neighbor also dropped a bombshell allegation about the drinking problem of Amy Coney Barrett and her closest friends. Apparently, in their elementary school days, they liked to drink milk – and lots of it. The neighbor says she "frequently" witnessed Coney-Barrett and her friends chugging entire cartons of milk – often Whole Milk, sometimes Chocolate Milk, occasionally both at the same time through a funnel.

Unfortunately, shooting-up cooties, injurious rewinding, and potential calcium-abuse are not even the worst of it.

A third person has now come forward, another man, and this is just reprehensible, it's hard to even fathom. But he alleges that in fourth grade, when they were around ten-years-old, Amy Coney Barrett and a group of "four or five of her friends" gang-GRAPED him on the playground during recess. He alleges the group of friends snuck uneaten grapes out of the cafeteria and gang-GRAPED him repeatedly in broad daylight. In other words, and I hate to have to spell this out because it's kind of graphic, but the group led by ten-year-old Amy Coney Barrett pelted this poor defenseless boy with whole grapes. He recalls them "laughing the whole time" as they were gang-GRAPING him.

He recalls them "laughing the whole time" as they were gang-GRAPING him.

Obviously, even if just one of these allegations is half-true, no Senator with a conscience could possibly vote to confirm Coney Barrett. When there is a clear pattern of destructive childhood behavior, it always continues into adulthood. Because people do not change. Ever.

Fortunately, for the sake of the Republic, Democrats plan to subpoena Coney Barrett's childhood diary, to see what, if any, insights it may provide into her calcium habits, as well as her abuse of illicit cooties and the gang-GRAPING incident.

We will keep you posted on the latest, but for now, it looks like Democrats will find plenty in the reckless pre-teen life of Amy Coney Barrett to cast doubt on her nomination. And if not, they can always fall back on her deranged preference for letting babies be born.

[NOTE: The preceding was a parody written by MRA writer Nathan Nipper.]