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GLENN: Hey, here's some good news. Here's some good news. As long as we believe that the high score wins, unemployment is getting better. It's now 9.8. If you don't score it like golf, this thing is going great. The unemployment rate is now 9.8, which is great because it now has an 8 in the number, which they promised us it would never go past 8. I don't know, maybe we didn't -- we didn't ask enough questions. He didn't give enough speeches for us to understand. Maybe it was just -- maybe he meant it would never go past 8. It could be 12.8. You know, it would never be 12.9. It would just jump whole numbers. It could be like 14.8, 23.8, but it would never go past an 8 number. Maybe that's what he meant. Because I know we've done everything. First we had to do the stimulus or we were all going to die. But remember, you're the fear monger. We're all going to die unless we pass TARP right now. We're all going to die unless we pass this stimulus package right now. We're all going to die unless we pass healthcare right now. And it will never go past a number with an 8 in it.
STU: Well, Glenn, they did say very specifically that it could, if we did nothing, rise all the way to 9.0%. I mean, can you imagine an economy --
GLENN: See how wrong they were? See how wrong they were? That has a zero in it.
STU: Right.
GLENN: This number, 9.8, does not have a zero in it.
PAT: Obviously not.
GLENN: So they are right again. Let me show you this. Do you know how right the economists were? All of the experts --
PAT: How right were they?
GLENN: All of the experts, they all came out and they --
STU: How right were they!
PAT: How right were they?
GLENN: What, is this the Ed McMahon hour all of a sudden? For the four people in the audience that remember Ed McMahon now? All the economists came out and they said that the unemployment number would be 9.4 to 9.7. None of them said it would be 9.8. How did they miss the president saying that it would never go past a number with an 8 in it?
STU: I mean, they were only over 83, all 83.
PAT: Didn't they also estimate that 150,000 jobs would be gained?
STU: Yeah, and it was 39,000.
PAT: So that was a little bit --
STU: Pretty close, though.
PAT: One number is bigger than the other and I'm not very good at math but I think the first one is bigger?
GLENN: We need to get a PBS -- can we get a PBS character out? Wouldn't it be great? We should get somebody that is funded by the government to indoctrinate our children with government propaganda and we should get them on the air to tell us and teach us exactly why 9.8 is good. Elmo says that 9.8 is good because it has an 8 in it.
PAT: It's weird how closely Elmo sounds to your wife.
GLENN: My wife does not sound like Elmo.
STU: That is the exact same voice.
GLENN: No, it's not.
PAT: Yes, his wife, Tania and Elmo are the same.
GLENN: No, here's my wife's voice. It's called I don't like it.
PAT: See the difference?
GLENN: You're not going to --
STU: Wow. Do you hear that distinction there, Pat?
PAT: Amazing difference. I don't even know how I got that.
GLENN: Here's Elmo: Elmo says it's cold in here. That's totally different.
PAT: Vastly different.
STU: Totally.
GLENN: If my wife --
PAT: Vastly different.
GLENN: If I came home and said, "Honey, really, I really, I mean, I'm tired." "You know what? Your wife says you should take out the garbage." I wouldn't have a problem with that. It wouldn't be -- it would be like, you're kind of cute.
STU: It's the kind of grovely sort of thing? Because that's the only difference.
GLENN: No, no. Let's do this. Let's say my wife now is Elmo. "All right. Now you're going to learn what numbers are." Do you want to learn? Is anybody saying, hey?
PAT: Tania is Elmo with a cold. That's all she is.
STU: Potentially an evil cold.
GLENN: How did this get about Tania? Weren't we talking about how stupid the government is? They are now saying that they don't know if they're going to compromise on the Bush tax cuts. They might give the Bush tax cuts to those people who are making less than $250,000 a year. All right, may I just say that that is fine. I have no problem with that. But the people who are making $70,000 a year, generally speaking, are not the ones creating jobs. I've never worked for somebody that made $40,000 a year. Have you? Have you ever been hired and paid by somebody who makes $40,000 a year? Because I don't know how they do it on $40,000 a year, create a business, do all the overhead, do all the paperwork and hire somebody in a good paying job when they're only making $40,000 a year.
STU: Yeah, the only people who are creating jobs at $40,000 a year in general are people who they call rich who have a business that they are just squeaking out $40,000 a year for themselves to keep themselves going and investing everything else back into the business.
GLENN: Exactly right. Exactly right.
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