Vote Fluffenfluff




With Nerf Hoffelmeyer pulling out of the race early this year, radio host Jim Dingle has fully thrown his support behind Floyd Fluffinfluff.

GLENN: I don't know about you but I think one of the things, I think the reason people are having such a hard time knowing who to vote for is you don't know who to trust because they are all telling you exactly what they think you want to hear and, you know, I don't want to hear anything specifically except what you really, truly think the problems of the world are and what you really, truly believe the solutions are. Not what you think I want the problems to be or the solutions to be but what you really truly believe. But I don't think any candidate could ever have enough guts. I think they would win but I don't think they would have enough guts to actually tell you. Of course then again I should take that back. I don't know. If there was a candidate that ran an ad that was an honest ad and said here's what the problems are, would they win.

We put together a series here of campaign ads. Here's the first. My first thought was, okay, here's the ad that maybe would work because it's a little honest:

VOICE: This election is about change and the greatest change we need in Washington is honesty. So while other candidates will tell you what you want to hear, Floyd Fluffinfluff is the only one who will tell you what you need to hear, real lasting change. That's the Fluffinfluff promise. Vote for lieutenant deputy mayor Floyd Fluffinfluff. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth with no fluff, just Fluffinfluff.

GLENN: All right. And then I thought, that's not -- I mean, that doesn't -- any candidate can say "I'm going to tell you the truth." You've got to be a little more specific. What's the truth?

VOICE: While some candidates will say our economy is headed toward a recession, only Floyd Fluffinfluff will tell you the unvarnished truth: We're all screwed. A Great Depression would be like a minor flesh wound compared to the [BLEEP] kicking that's coming our way. So keep getting your fill of sugar-coated lies if you want or turn to Floyd Fluffinfluff and finally get a taste of the truth. Former executive assistant to the assistant deputy of the city clerk, Floyd Fluffinfluff for President because a bitter pill is a better pill.

GLENN: See, okay, that's the beginning. Sure, you are going to tell us the truth, you are going to tell us how bad things are but that's not helpful. Americans are positive. They don't want to look to the past, they don't want to look to today, they want to look to the future. "Okay, so it's bad. What are you going to do about it."

VOICE: John McCain says Social Security has big challenges ahead. Mitt Romney admits the retirement age might have to rise. But they're only giving you the fluff, not the Fluffinfluff. Only Floyd Fluffinfluff dares to tell our seniors the truth: Social Security is dead, over, finito. The Fluffinfluff solution, raise the retirement age to 106. Problem solved. Sure, there will be some pissed off seniors, but they will be dead soon. So who cares. Certainly not the Fluffster. Two-time local elementary school crosswalk guard Floyd Fluffinfluff for President because it's about time somebody told our seniors to get a frickin' job.

GLENN: Hey, I think that's too negative. I mean, he starts out attacking. You lose him at the beginning because he's attacking, you know, John McCain and Mitt Romney. He's got to just be who he is and then just lay it all on the line.

VOICE: Longtime local resident Floyd Fluffinfluff is the only presidential candidate who tells you the hard truths without all the fluff, only the Fluffinfluff. The truth: America is going bankrupt. Only Floyd Fluffinfluff will pledge to raise income taxes 92% on the middle class. The truth: America spends too much. Only Floyd Fluffinfluff will eliminate Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and welfare benefits, along with all federal prisons. The truth: America is growing too rapidly. Only Floyd Fluffinfluff will strictly enforce a two-child per household law along with banning all future adoptions. The truth, Americans are lazy. Only Floyd Fluffinfluff will pledge to disband OSHA and remove all child labor laws from the books. And there's plenty more where that came from. Floyd Fluffinfluff for President because it's time for some tough love and some tough Fluffinfluff love in the Oval Office.

On Monday's episode of "The Glenn Beck Radio Program," Glenn opened up about the tragic death of his brother-in-law, Vincent Colonna Jr., who passed away unexpectedly on April 5. He also shared some of the important thoughts and insights he's learned through the grieving process.

"Last Monday, I was sitting in this chair ... the two-minute warning comes and Stu said to me, 'You ready for the show?'' ... And that's when my wife [Tania] came to the door of the studio here at our house and said, 'I...' and she held the phone up. And then she collapsed on the floor in tears," Glenn began. "Tania's brother had passed. To say this was a shock, is an understatement."

Glenn described his brother-in-law as having "a servant's spirit."

"He was always the guy who lit up the room. He was always the guy helping others. He would never stop, because he was always helping others," Glenn said of Vincent. "He was on the school board. He was a little league coach. He was the soccer coach. He helped build the church. He took care of the lawn of the church. He was constantly doing things, raising money for charity, working over here, helping to organize this. But he was never the guy in the spotlight. He was just the guy doing it, and you had no idea how much he had done because he never talked about it.

"We also didn't know how much mental anguish he was in because he never talked about it. And last Monday morning, after spending Easter with the family ... he killed himself. This is now the third family member of mine that has gone through this. And I keep seeing it play out over and over and over again, in exactly the same way."

Glenn described his thoughts as he, Tania, and her family struggled to come to grips with the devastating loss.

"I learned some really important things as I was watching this wake. I'm seeing these people from all walks of life ... the people that were there, were there because [Vince] made a difference in their life. He was a true servant. As I'm watching this, all that kept going through my mind was, 'by their fruits, ye shall know them.' The fruits of his labor were on display. He was a servant all the time. All the time ... he found a way to love everybody.

"There are two great commandments: Love God with all your heart and mind and soul. And love your neighbor. So those two great commandments boil down to: Love truth. Because that's what God is," Glenn said.

"Love thy neighbor. That's where joy comes from. The opposite of joy is despair, and that is the complete absence of hope ... and how do you find joy? You find joy by rooting yourself in the truth. Even if that's a truth you don't want to accept. Accept the truth," he added. "But we have to stop saying that there's nothing we can do. What are we going to do? Well, here's the first thing: stop living a lie."

Watch the video clip below to hear more from Glenn:


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After imprisoning a pastor for refusing to follow COVID-19 restrictions, Canadian officials barricaded his church. And when some church members retaliated by tearing down part of the fence, Canadian Mounties arrived in riot gear.

Rebel News Founder Ezra Levant joined Glenn Beck on the radio program to give his insight on the crazy situation. He described the new, armed police presence surrounding GraceLife Church in Edmonton, Alberta, and how it not only encouraged hundreds of protesters to stand with the church in support but forced congregation members underground to worship as well.

What's happening is eerily similar to what occurs everyday in China, Levant says, and it must stop. Who would have thought this type of tyranny would be so close to home?

Watch the video below to hear Ezra describe the religious persecution taking place in Canada.


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To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Enough prayers? Why is supposed Catholic Joe Biden suggesting that Congress ought to stop praying for after someone commits acts of gun violence?

On Friday, Stu Burguiere and Pat Gray filled in for Glenn and discussed President Joe Biden's remarks during his speech on gun control. "Enough prayers. Time for some action," Biden said. Stu and Pat were surprised how dismissive Biden appeared to be on the idea of prayer.

Watch the clip to hear more. Can't watch? Download the podcast here.

Want more from Glenn Beck?

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Just days after Canadian pastor James Coates was released from prison for refusing to bow to COVID-19 lockdown restrictions, several police officers showed up at another church to ensure restrictions were being followed. But Polish pastor Artur Pawlowski of the Cave of Adullam Church in Alberta, Canada, knew his rights, telling the cops not to come back until they had a warrant in hand.

Filling in for Glenn Beck on the radio program this week, Pat Gray and Stu Burguiere played a video of the interaction.

"Please get out. Please get out of this property immediately. Get out!" Pawlowski can be heard yelling at the six officers who entered his church.

"Out! Out! Out! Get out of this property immediately until you come back with a warrant," he continued. "Go out and don't come back. I don't want to talk to you. You Nazis, Gestapo is not allowed here! ... Nazis are not welcome here! Do not come back you Nazi psychopaths. Unbelievable sick, evil people. Intimidating people in a church during the Passover! You Gestapo, Nazi, communist fascists! Don't you dare come back here!"

Watch this clip to see the heated exchange:

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To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.