State of the Program Address

Stu: Mr. Speaker of the House, the President of the Glenn Beck Program.

Glenn: Thank you, thank you. Why are only half of you standing up, get off your fat ass! Thank you. Thank you. My head writer, staff members, distinguished guests, fellow Glenn Beck fans, seven years have passed since I first stood before this microphone and tried to entertain and enlighten you, emphasis on the word try. Well, I may have done, oh, just a ton of crappy shows since then and it seems like the crappy shows seem to happen from time to time in a much more rapid pace lately, like two or three times a week, sometimes even four or five times a week, I am pleased to report to you that even with all of that show crappiness, the State of the Glenn Beck program is strong! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We have been busy doing the conservative work, fighting a stubborn enemy, liberal bloggers have posted over 10,000 action alerts to try to get me fired. But thanks to, you know, form being being sponsors and people who are actually born with spines and common sense, today I still have a job and simply by putting the complaints in context, we are making the enemy look even geekier and dumber than ever before. I will -- are you drinking?

Dan: What?

Glenn: I will not back down from that challenge, even if that means complete and utter humiliation. My commitment to this audience is unwavering. Despite having surgery on my butt which went horribly awry, I braved the embarrassment and was interviewed on dozens of television shows, including Good Morning America, where I rehashed my butt story and then I did it again over and over and over again, hundreds of times in interviews with radio hosts, newspaper journalists, and television hosts all across America, time and time again reminding me of the most embarrassing of all hospital procedures, butt surgery. That I had on my butt. Many people laughed at my expense. However, after 1400 interviews and 1 million views of my YouTube video and countless parodies about my butt surgery, it is pretty clear who has gotten the last laugh, my butt! Thank you (applause). Yes. That's right. The one who got the last laugh was my butt which happens to have close proximity to where I keep my wallet! (Applause.) Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, I am happy to report to you that the state of my butt is strong!

Stu: That's kind of nasty. Can we get past the butt part?

Glenn: I wish we could. Oh, how I wish we could, but while the state of my butt is strong, there are many challenges that I face, such as my abs, my man boobs, the pasty white complex, the receding hairline, the triple chin thing that is getting worse and worse, but I have laid out a plan and I want to address this issue. That's why I beg of you, members of the audience please, please, please, please, please, please, for everything that is good and sacred, please renew the no doughnut left behind act! Why is Ted Kennedy standing on this one? It's like he's got rabies all of a sudden. Look at him foam in the mouth. Doughnuts! We've been doing other important work besides just talking about my butt and eating doughnuts or at least that's what they tell me. We've been also spreading the concept of common sense all across this great land with the help of my administration and the people of people like you everywhere, An Inconvenient Book has been on the "New York Times" best sellers list in the top five for nine weeks, which just proves any man boob can do it (applause) and there is no sign of letting up. That's a good sign that people need hope. They need -- they need to know that hope and change is on the horizon. You can find hope in that. So, on this -- (Applause.) Wait. So, on this day we hope that the hope and change, the kind of change that has changed the way Americans live, will inspire the change that we've so desperately hoped for! (Applause.) And because of change, well, that and ineptness, corruption, an a government that can't get out of its own way, the message of change I bring to you today is this: Our economy is changing. In fact, I think it's pretty much going to crumble right there beneath our -- (Applause.) Yes. I don't know why you're clapping for that one, because that kind of scarce the living dog crap out of me. The message of hope that I bring to you is it just might, if we all work together, it just might not crumble enough to make you stand in line for food (applause) and finally there is one last message of change that I'd like to talk to you about. As I talk about the issues and warn voters against the change dangers of electing a liberal President like Hillary Clinton or John McCain, I want this to be perfect clear. Although most people and our nation's economy would suffer, I mean unbelievably. It would be like hemorrhaging from every pore of your body, oh, but I want you to know, America, and I mean this sincerely, the exact opposite is true for this program!

(Applause.) This election is a win-win for me because if a conservative gets in, we all win: If Hillary Clinton or a democrat gets in, well, I mean, you're screwed to the wall, but my comedy dollars will flow like the salmon of Capistrano. So, remember hope, yes, remember hope and remember change. Thank you and God bless the Glenn Beck program (applause). I've got a doughnut. Fetch, fetch!

The Biden administration is now doing everything it can to censor what it has decided is COVID-19 "misinformation." But Glenn Beck isn't confident that the silencing of voices will stop there.

Yeonmi Park grew up in North Korea, where there is no freedom of speech, and she joined Glenn to warn that America must not let this freedom go.

"Whenever authoritarianism rises, the first thing they go after is freedom of speech," she said.

Watch the video clip below from "The Glenn Beck Podcast" or find the full episode with Yeonmi Park here:

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Most self-proclaimed Marxists know very little about Marxism. Some of them have all the buzzwords memorized. They talk about the exploits of labor. They talk about the slavery of capitalist society and the alienation caused by capital. They talk about the evils of power and domination.

But they don't actually believe what they say. Or else they wouldn't be such violent hypocrites. And we're not being dramatic when we say "violent."

For them, Marxism is a political tool that they use to degrade and annoy their political enemies.

They don't actually care about the working class.

Another important thing to remember about Marxists is that they talk about how they want to defend the working class, but they don't actually understand the working class. They definitely don't realize that the working class is composed mostly of so many of the people they hate. Because, here's the thing, they don't actually care about the working class. Or the middle class. They wouldn't have the slightest clue how to actually work, not the way we do. For them, work involves ranting about how work and labor are evil.

Ironically, if their communist utopia actually arrived, they would be the first ones against the wall. Because they have nothing to offer except dissent. They have no practical use and no real connection to reality.

Again ironically, they are the ultimate proof of the success of capitalism. The fact that they can freely call for its demise, in tweets that they send from their capitalistic iPhones, is proof that capitalism affords them tremendous luxuries.

Their specialty is complaining. They are fanatics of a religion that is endlessly cynical.

They sneer at Christianity for promising Heaven in exchange for good deeds on earth — which is a terrible description of Christianity, but it's what they actually believe — and at the same time they criticize Christianity for promising a utopia, they give their unconditional devotion to a religion that promises a utopia.

They are fanatics of a religion that is endlessly cynical.

They think capitalism has turned us into machines. Which is a bad interpretation of Marx's concept of the General Intellect, the idea that humans are the ones who create machines, so humans, not God, are the creators.

They think that the only way to achieve the perfect society is by radically changing and even destroying the current society. It's what they mean when they say things about the "status quo" and "hegemony" and the "established order." They believe that the system is broken and the way to fix it is to destroy, destroy, destroy.

Critical race theory actually takes it a step farther. It tells us that the racist system can never be changed. That racism is the original sin that white people can never overcome. Of course, critical race theorists suggest "alternative institutions," but these "alternative institutions" are basically the same as the ones we have now, only less effective and actually racist.

Marx's violent revolution never happened. Or at least it never succeeded. Marx's followers have had to take a different approach. And now, we are living through the Revolution of Constant Whining.

This post is part of a series on critical race theory. Read the full series here.

Americans are losing faith in our justice system and the idea that legal consequences are applied equally — even to powerful elites in office.

Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA) joined Glenn Beck on the radio program to detail what he believes will come next with the Durham investigation, which hopefully will provide answers to the Obama FBI's alleged attempts to sabotage former President Donald Trump and his campaign years ago.

Rep. Nunes and Glenn assert that we know Trump did NOT collude with Russia, and that several members of the FBI possibly committed huge abuses of power. So, when will we see justice?

Watch the video clip below:


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The corporate media is doing everything it can to protect Dr. Anthony Fauci after Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) roasted him for allegedly lying to Congress about funding gain-of-function research in Wuhan, China.

During an extremely heated exchange at a Senate hearing on Tuesday, Sen. Paul challenged Dr. Fauci — who, as the director of the National Institute of Allergies and Infectious Diseases, oversees research programs at the National Institute of Health — on whether the NIH funded dangerous gain-of-function research at the Wuhan Institute of Virology.

Dr. Fauci denied the claims, but as Sen. Paul knows, there are documents that prove Dr. Fauci's NIH was funding gain-of-function research in the Wuhan biolab before COVID-19 broke out in China.

On "The Glenn Beck Program," Glenn and Producer Stu Burguiere presented the proof, because Dr. Fauci's shifting defenses don't change the truth.

Watch the video clip below:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.