GLENN: Well, good morning this morning and afternoon. It's WGOP radio, all Republican radio all the time. My, oh, my, the primary in Florida last night. Oh, these Republicans are happy last night. John McCain won, John McCain. How the hell did that happen? Here's the Eagles. Hello? Hello?
STU: Hello? What are you doing?
GLENN: Who is this?
STU: This is your program director.
GLENN: What do you mean what am I doing? I'm playing --
STU: First of all, you stepped all over that intro.
GLENN: I did it with style.
STU: No, I mean, you were talking right over what they were singing.
GLENN: That's all right. I'm not really in a mood today, okay? You know what I'm saying?
STU: Why aren't you happy? Big primary last night. We had to talk about Republican issues.
GLENN: John McCain won.
STU: Yeah, John McCain, Republican, frontrunner.
GLENN: We're the Republican radio station.
STU: I know, I know. And John McCain's Republican. Look at the odds right after his bid.
GLENN: What did you say?
STU: The Rs right after his name.
GLENN: But he is not really a Republican.
STU: No, I said John McCain, R.
GLENN: Have you seen his amnesty proposal?
STU: I know, it's fantastic. I now love it.
GLENN: What do you mean you now love it?
STU: I now love it. It's going to be great. The --
GLENN: We were on the air for months hating it.
STU: No, it was --
GLENN: This guy was in charge of the amnesty program. He partnered with Ted Kennedy.
STU: Yeah, I know. We love partnering with Ted Kennedy. I think this is the future of the party.
GLENN: You know who Juan Hernandez is, right?
STU: Oh, Juan, he is a great whopper. He is going to be fantastic.
GLENN: You hated Juan Hernandez. Juan Hernandez is the guy who says there should be one great state, Mex-Ameri-Canada. He says that Canada and Mexico and the United States should just all get together, once a Mexican, always a Mexican.
STU: This is ridiculous. You are talking about yesterday when I said that?
STU: You're talking about yesterday when I said I didn't like Juan Hernandez.
STU: This is today. John McCain won last night. Now I love him. I need you to get a little bit more pep in your voice when you are doing these breaks. These songs are way down key. They are low-key. People are excited today to vote for John McCain for President.
GLENN: Hang on. Hey, that's the eagles and desperado on WGOP radio where, whoo, cowboy, John McCain won last night. And I mean, it's -- hey. Maybe Joe Lieberman could run with him because they're good buddies, too. Joe Lieberman and John McCain and wouldn't that be, you know, the whole global warming thing. They will be on top of that one with John McCain in the White House. And congratulations from all of us here at WGOP where the party goes on.
GLENN: Why are you calling me again?
STU: Well, first of all, I don't even think that last song was over. You started a song in the middle of it.
GLENN: I can't take it anymore.
STU: I think that's the thing to do. Second of all, this is a sad song. Where is the party?
GLENN: This isn't a sad song. This is a true song, all of us living in the ghetto oh.
STU: I don't know what you're basing that on.
GLENN: McCain/Lieberman, man, McCain/Lieberman. You have global warming. $1.2 trillion every year.
STU: Well, yeah, but you've got to think about, don't be a global warming denier. Is that what you are?
GLENN: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. This is WGOP radio. When did we ever say that?
STU: Since last night. We now believe you are in the pocket of big oil if you disagree with anything related to global warming.
GLENN: I thought you were against all of that stuff.
STU: People said, look, forget about Islamic terrorism. Think about 0.7 degrees over a century. Whoa!
GLENN: I just don't, I don't think I can do it. I'm sorry.
STU: People love global warming. Republicans are all about global warming, Glenn.
GLENN: How are we going to afford, if the guy doesn't even believe in tax cuts?
STU: Tax cuts? Tax cuts hurt the economy, of course.
STU: I'm not -- I can't possibly support a tax cut that's going to go to the richest 1%. That's what all about, huh? You know what I'm saying.
GLENN: Hang on, I think my song is ending.
STU: I don't think it is. I don't think it's over yet.
GLENN: I think it's over. WGOP radio and where, damn the rich. That's why we're fighting now for John McCain because, boy, those rich, huh? We've got to think about those little babies in the ghetto there and the only way to do it is to put the rich people in the ghettos next to him because maybe they've got a warm jacket they could throw over that baby and that, of course,, that's the way to solve it here at WGOP radio. And congratulations to John McCain who won last night and, of course, voted against those tax cuts, was against them until, I don't know, a couple of weeks ago but he is reaching out now to the conservatives now that he's got all the liberals and so we know we can believe him. Here's a little Elton John on GOP.
(Music playing. )
STU: I mean, have you ever been on the radio before? You stepped all over that intro again.
GLENN: It's because my engineer who hung up on Rudy Giuliani yesterday --
STU: No, we fired Andros, didn't we?
GLENN: No, I don't think so. But nothing in this radio station makes sense anymore. I mean, John McCain, man, how can you now be for John McCain? He is the guy who told the world Wall Street Journal, may I quote?
STU: Yeah, sure, I'd love to hear a quote.
GLENN: More recently McCain has told conservatives he would be happy to appoint the likes of Chief Justice John Roberts to the Supreme Court but he indicated he might draw the line on Samuel Alito because he wore his conservatism on his sleeve.
STU: Amen to that, huh? You know, I tell you one of the things that's fantastic about this country and John McCain is that none of these damn conservatives will get jobs anymore in the Supreme Court.
GLENN: But I thought we wanted Supreme Court justices that were conservative that, you know, read the Constitution as the founding fathers intended it.
STU: Are you referring to when I said that yesterday?
STU: Yeah, but last night John McCain won. Did you not see the news? He won. So now my principles are different. Do you understand how it works? He won by 5%, 5%!
GLENN: Hang on. I think my song is over.
STU: No, it's not. I can hear it. We're not even halfway through the song.
GLENN: This may be one of the last times I'm actually going to say anything. WGOP radio and sad songs, oh, they say so very much, don't they? They really do. On WGOP radio, good morning, this afternoon and evening. I'm glad that you've tuned in and this may be one of our last broadcasts because John McCain, who is not a phone thrower, of course, has his vindictiveness in check, certainly wouldn't be a guy who could lead the charge for bipartisan support for, you know, the Fairness Doctrine. Of course, he loves everybody on talk radio and their support and I know that he, of course, would not lead that bipartisan support for the Fairness Doctrine and go ahead and put that thing through because he understood freedom of speech as evidenced by McCain/Feingold.
Now another great hit tune on WGOP. Where it's going to be sunny today and a high of 75 degrees and maybe a little bit of rain tonight, low of 44 and we --.
STU: You just waited about 10 seconds and then started the weather. Why did you do that?
GLENN: I think it was Dan Andros.
STU: Are you pinning that one on Andros, too? Listen, one problem with your last break there.
STU: You didn't mention any Democratic issues. I don't know if you know --
GLENN: WGOP radio.
STU: Yeah, I know, but campaign finance reform means that you have to like issues such as tax raises just as much as you like the ones as tax cuts.
GLENN: You know, I just saw a station newsletter.
GLENN: I don't think this is a good idea. I think this will destroy WGOP.
STU: No, no, no, no, no. John McCain won last night by 5 points.
GLENN: Well, I know. But the newsletter.
GLENN: You know, the McCain Times.
GLENN: I don't know if this is a good idea. I think it might destroy us.
STU: No, it's going to be great, talks all about the important issues that people care about like raising taxes.
GLENN: You just renamed moveon.org's newsletter.
STU: Well, yeah. I mean, people care about the important issue of the day, global warming, making sure we shut down Guantanamo, what people care about today in the Republican party. I mean, he won by 5%.
GLENN: Hang on just a second. I think my song's ending.
STU: No, I can hear it. The song, this is not even -- we're not even --
GLENN: Well, here we are, WGOP, good morning and afternoon, good evening. I'm glad you're here listening to us. Of course the big news today that we're all excited about, John McCain won Florida last night and, of course, we're all sticking to our values, the guy who we all loved so much last summer we are now rooting for and I think that's what makes WGOP the icon that it is and always will be. So we're excited. We're going to sign off the air after this commercial message.
VOICE: Hillary Clinton says she's the candidate for change. Fact: Hillary Clinton is a career politician and seeks nothing but power. Fact: Hillary Clinton's husband once served as President for two terms. Fact: Hillary Clinton lived in the White House for eight years. That doesn't sound like change. It sounds like more of the same old, same old Washington politics. Don't make the same mistake again. It's time to vote for real change. Elect an outsider to put an end to the Bush/Clinton quagmire, someone without all the ties to inside beltway corruption and Washington lobbyists, someone who will give America the fresh start it so desperately needs. That someone is here and they're winning: John McCain. A true Washington outsider for change. John McCain has served over 25 years in Washington, D.C. Since his two terms as congressman, John McCain has been a United States senator ever since January 3rd, 1987. Eight years of George W. Bush being right on most issues is long enough. It's time for America to have a President who isn't afraid to be wrong. John McCain isn't afraid. He's been wrong on almost every policy he's touched and he's never lived in the White House. Join the McCain is Change campaign today at www.horriblepolicies.net.
GLENN: That's fantastic, yeah!