The staff would like to see the happy Glenn Beck, that plays with dolls at Super Bowl parties, come back...
GLENN: Well, here we go. The scourging news of --
STU: Hey, Glenn.
STU: I don't mean to interrupt you here -- well, I do. That's exactly why I did it. The reason why I did it is because we feel that we need to have an intervention.
DAN: All of us. We're all here.
STU: We're all your friends. We care about you and we don't want to see you --
SARAH: I'm here for you.
STU: See, we love you, Glenn, at least we love the salaries you pay us. We don't want to see --
GLENN: You don't actually love me.
STU: We're just going to leave that one unanswered.
DAN: Don't look into that.
STU: There's no need. This isn't about us. It's about you.
GLENN: It's about me.
STU: And we care about you in some ways and we believe that perhaps we've noticed a slight change in the attitude. I know you are bleeding internally and I know --
GLENN: I'm literally bleeding internally, literally bleeding internally, yes.
DAN: You've had some trouble sleeping, we understand. We just think, you know --
STU: We've noticed a harshness that has occurred.
DAN: It's going south, your attitude. It seems to be --
STU: There have been words used by you that are hurtful and constant lately.
DAN: And not becoming of the new Glenn Beck.
STU: No, because I remember you saying, you know, that you were changing your ways and it was more of a positive Glenn Beck.
GLENN: That was really a long time ago. That was a long time ago. That was before the McCain win.
STU: No, I mean, I do realize that.
GLENN: I mean, I'm just using the -- you know, I'm just using Republican language. I mean, I believed in that yesterday but today I believe the exact opposite.
STU: You flip-flopped. Listen --
GLENN: No. I've just changed what I believe. I was strongly trying to be a good person yesterday. Today not so much.
STU: Would you say that we might be able to get a -- turning down the harshness of Glenn Beck just a couple of notches today?
STU: That's a good point, Dan. He sounds like a crotchety old man that's angry.
GLENN: What have I done?
STU: I'm just saying that maybe you've been calling people son of a bitch like crazy and you've been saying everything is damn this and damn that and I --
STU: Yes, all over the board.
DAN: You are not 87 years old yet.
STU: You sound like, that's exactly -- that's a good point, Dan. He sounds like a crotchety old man that's angry.
GLENN: I am angry today.
STU: Can you calm down a little?
GLENN: Wait, wait. Has this been going on a long time?
STU: There's been a slow increase over the past couple of weeks especially with your illness. I think your filters are turning off.
GLENN: Because I'm not even filtering my blood. My blood is being filtered by, like, my skin now. It's just --
STU: Can't you just kind of, you know, recognize some of the absurdity of what we're going through here, we have a good time with it and we just, you know, hey, everyone likes each other and, you know, the nice kind.
GLENN: But they don't like each other.
STU: I'm saying you, not they. There's no they, Glenn. Who is they? Everyone likes you. We're friends here. Sarah's right here. She hasn't said anything but she's right here.
SARAH: Hi, Glenn, yeah.
STU: See, she's right here. We asked her, we forced her to come in here so there would be a girl voice in the room.
GLENN: Are you being forced in this, Sarah?
SARAH: No, not at all. I'm here for you. I'm worried about you.
GLENN: I think she's -- I think that's a recording of Sarah.
GLENN: I think you forced her to say those things and you bound her up and you put her in a closet.
STU: Well, she wouldn't have said them if we told her the context. I'm just saying that we just need a little bit of the smooth -- can you mellow out? Is there any tea you can have?
GLENN: So what you're saying --
STU: Is there a nice soft, you know, like one of those chamomile, do you have any chamomile?
GLENN: So maybe what you're saying is like in alcoholic meetings where I was really bummed when I first went because I thought we talked about which drinks were our favorite drinks. They don't do that.
GLENN: That's a trick just to get you in.
GLENN: What they'll say is some days you'll get there and you'll be like what you're saying I am now and they will say, hey, Glenn, maybe today is a day you should shut up and just listen.
STU: Yes, I love this idea. Why don't you just listen. I would say that you should not be held responsible for anything that you've said today or will say in the future and maybe you should just listen to callers. What are they thinking, Glenn? What are they feeling today?