| Couple Of The Year - Volume 1 |
Quite possibly our favorite show of the year-the "Couple of the Year" presentation. Listen back to some of our best moments from these classic shows - available as a CD or download it instantly in MP3 format.
GLENN: Joe. Joe, are you there?
JOE: I'm here, Glenn.
GLENN: You're not having, like, serious marital problems, are you?
JOE: Well, we're not married yet. We're longtime boyfriend/girlfriend. We've been living together for years.
GLENN: Oh, well, I don't give a flying crap about you two. We're not breaking anything up. I mean, she could leave and it's okay then. I mean, you're like, I got nothing in it. What?
JOE: I got time invested.
GLENN: Oh, you got time, schmime. Please.
JOE: She just graduated college and today's her birthday. It was a bad day yesterday.
GLENN: Why? Why did you forget?
JOE: Well, I didn't really forget. I drive a truck. I didn't get home last night until almost midnight. I didn't exactly whip the truck into the florist. When I got to Wal-Mart, all they had left was a spare rose petal on the floor.
GLENN: I told you, I warned you for weeks. All right. So then Joe, this is your girlfriend. I mean, I don't feel bad on this one. It's a girlfriend. Are you going to marry her?
JOE: Oh, yeah, definitely.
GLENN: Really? Would you like to ask her today? It would make it special.
JOE: No, no, no, she would kill me. She's going to kill me anyway, but --
GLENN: Hang on. We're filling out your Mad Lib essay that you wrote. We'll call. Her name is Laura?
GLENN: We're calling Laura here in just a second. Stand by.
GLENN: Not going to be able to get to the Ann Coulter video that I talked about last night. Ann was on the show last night. We talked about John McCain and Romney. Please check it out. You'll forward it in the newsletter today and also it's available right now at the front page of GlennBeck.com.
Today is the day for our Couple of the Year contest and we were supposed to do it yesterday but we ran out of time. So let's get right to it, shall we?
VOICE: And now it's the contest of the year in the making. It's Glenn Beck's quest to find America's ultimate couple of love. The essays have been written, the heartfelt words have been read and the winner has been selected. So now to introduce the country's most special couple, here's the love God himself, Glenn Beck.
CALLER: As you know we do this every year and we've had thousands of letters in and entries and we have Joe on the phone and I have to rush through it kind of because we're running out of time here. Gosh darn it, Joe, I hope I didn't make things horrible for you last night. Did you expose this?
JOE: Oh, it was a bad night.
GLENN: Was it really?
GLENN: I'm sorry. I asked you because I couldn't make it in yesterday because of health issues and I asked you to keep it secret and now we have Laura on the phone who's your girlfriend. Hi, Laura.
LAURA: Hi, hello.
GLENN: Do you know who I am by any chance? I'm Glenn Beck. I do a radio show?
LAURA: Oh, okay, I do.
GLENN: And Joe, I asked him. He entered a contest about four months ago for Valentine's Day. You guys were the winner of the Couple of the Year and I got sick and so we have to do it today. So I'm sorry I wrecked your Valentine's Day, Laura.
LAURA: Oh, my goodness.
GLENN: Yeah. You didn't know, did you?
LAURA: No, I didn't. I really didn't know. Now I feel horrible.
GLENN: No, it's my fault. It's my fault. Do you forgive her, Joe?
JOE: Ooh, yes, definitely.
GLENN: Listen, I have a quick letter that I want to read to you. He said, Glenn, I've never entered a contest like this before. However I have to tell you about my beautiful girlfriend. I just can't express in words how uniquely wonderful Laura is. Honestly at first I think I was just attracted to her smile but as time went on, it turned into so much more. I guess I knew it was love the first time we had roast beef sandwiches at Panera Bread. Wow, what a perfect time that was. I guess what sets her apart is the distinctive way she loves animals, unlike any other woman in Kent County. I could go on forever but that would take away from my time with her and I have to get back at work at Swift where I drive a truck virtually 24 hours a day five days a week. Besides, everyone always tries to make love so complex. Let me tell you something, Joe, this what won the contest, this line alone. Everyone tries to make love so complex and I think that's why we should be your Valentine's Couple of the Year because for me it's simple. I just love Laura.
LAURA: Oh, my God. I'm crying. Oh.
GLENN: Bringing people together. That's what we do. Joe, do you have anything you want to say to Laura?
JOE: Yeah. Laura?
JOE: I love you.
LAURA: Oh, I love you, too, Joe.
GLENN: Oh, that is fantastic. Guys, thank you so much and happy Valentine's Day one day late. And I'm so glad that we could help you both out and it sounds like you're a lovely couple.
LAURA: Thank you.