Couple of the Year - Joe and Laura


Couple Of The Year - Volume 1

Quite possibly our favorite show of the year-the "Couple of the Year" presentation. Listen back to some of our best moments from these classic shows - available as a CD or download it instantly in MP3 format.

GLENN: Joe. Joe, are you there?

JOE: I'm here, Glenn.

GLENN: You're not having, like, serious marital problems, are you?

JOE: Well, we're not married yet. We're longtime boyfriend/girlfriend. We've been living together for years.

GLENN: Oh, well, I don't give a flying crap about you two. We're not breaking anything up. I mean, she could leave and it's okay then. I mean, you're like, I got nothing in it. What?

JOE: I got time invested.

GLENN: Oh, you got time, schmime. Please.

JOE: She just graduated college and today's her birthday. It was a bad day yesterday.

GLENN: Why? Why did you forget?

JOE: Well, I didn't really forget. I drive a truck. I didn't get home last night until almost midnight. I didn't exactly whip the truck into the florist. When I got to Wal-Mart, all they had left was a spare rose petal on the floor.

GLENN: I told you, I warned you for weeks. All right. So then Joe, this is your girlfriend. I mean, I don't feel bad on this one. It's a girlfriend. Are you going to marry her?

JOE: Oh, yeah, definitely.

GLENN: Really? Would you like to ask her today? It would make it special.

JOE: No, no, no, she would kill me. She's going to kill me anyway, but --

GLENN: Hang on. We're filling out your Mad Lib essay that you wrote. We'll call. Her name is Laura?

JOE: Yes.

GLENN: We're calling Laura here in just a second. Stand by.

(OUT 11:50)

GLENN: Not going to be able to get to the Ann Coulter video that I talked about last night. Ann was on the show last night. We talked about John McCain and Romney. Please check it out. You'll forward it in the newsletter today and also it's available right now at the front page of GlennBeck.com.

Today is the day for our Couple of the Year contest and we were supposed to do it yesterday but we ran out of time. So let's get right to it, shall we?

VOICE: And now it's the contest of the year in the making. It's Glenn Beck's quest to find America's ultimate couple of love. The essays have been written, the heartfelt words have been read and the winner has been selected. So now to introduce the country's most special couple, here's the love God himself, Glenn Beck.

CALLER: As you know we do this every year and we've had thousands of letters in and entries and we have Joe on the phone and I have to rush through it kind of because we're running out of time here. Gosh darn it, Joe, I hope I didn't make things horrible for you last night. Did you expose this?

JOE: Oh, it was a bad night.

GLENN: Was it really?

JOE: Yes.

GLENN: I'm sorry. I asked you because I couldn't make it in yesterday because of health issues and I asked you to keep it secret and now we have Laura on the phone who's your girlfriend. Hi, Laura.

LAURA: Hi, hello.

GLENN: Do you know who I am by any chance? I'm Glenn Beck. I do a radio show?

LAURA: Oh, okay, I do.

GLENN: And Joe, I asked him. He entered a contest about four months ago for Valentine's Day. You guys were the winner of the Couple of the Year and I got sick and so we have to do it today. So I'm sorry I wrecked your Valentine's Day, Laura.

LAURA: Oh, my goodness.

GLENN: Yeah. You didn't know, did you?

LAURA: No, I didn't. I really didn't know. Now I feel horrible.

GLENN: No, it's my fault. It's my fault. Do you forgive her, Joe?

JOE: Ooh, yes, definitely.

GLENN: Listen, I have a quick letter that I want to read to you. He said, Glenn, I've never entered a contest like this before. However I have to tell you about my beautiful girlfriend. I just can't express in words how uniquely wonderful Laura is. Honestly at first I think I was just attracted to her smile but as time went on, it turned into so much more. I guess I knew it was love the first time we had roast beef sandwiches at Panera Bread. Wow, what a perfect time that was. I guess what sets her apart is the distinctive way she loves animals, unlike any other woman in Kent County. I could go on forever but that would take away from my time with her and I have to get back at work at Swift where I drive a truck virtually 24 hours a day five days a week. Besides, everyone always tries to make love so complex. Let me tell you something, Joe, this what won the contest, this line alone. Everyone tries to make love so complex and I think that's why we should be your Valentine's Couple of the Year because for me it's simple. I just love Laura.

LAURA: Oh, my God. I'm crying. Oh.

GLENN: Bringing people together. That's what we do. Joe, do you have anything you want to say to Laura?

JOE: Yeah. Laura?

LAURA: Yes?

JOE: I love you.

LAURA: Oh, I love you, too, Joe.

GLENN: Oh, that is fantastic. Guys, thank you so much and happy Valentine's Day one day late. And I'm so glad that we could help you both out and it sounds like you're a lovely couple.

LAURA: Thank you. 

During his campaign, President Joe Biden survived scandal after scandal involving his son Hunter — the Ukraine/Burisma scandal, the laptop scandal, the one involving a stripper from Arkansas and a long-lost child. And yet, after it all appeared to have been swept under the rug, Hunter has now released a memoir — "Beautiful Things."

Filling in for Glenn Beck on the radio program this week, Pat Gray and Stu Burguiere discussed Hunter's "horrible" response when asked on "CBS This Morning" if the laptop seized by the FBI in 2019 belonged to him and reviewed a few segments from his new book, which they agreed raises the question: Is Hunter trying to sabotage his father's career?

Watch the video below for more:


Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Countless corporations — from Delta Air Lines, Coca-Cola, and Porsche to UPS and LinkedIn — are calling out the Georgia voting laws, calling them "restrictive," "racist," and "discriminative." Meanwhile, words like "stakeholder" and "equitable" are starting to show up in their arguments.

On the radio program, Glenn Beck gave the "decoder ring" for what's really going on here, because our society is being completely redesigned in front of our eyes.

There's a reason why all these big businesses are speaking out now, and it has very little to do with genuine ideology, Glenn explained. It's all about ESG scores and forcing "compliance" through the monetization of social justice.

Glenn went on to detail exactly what ESG scores are, how they're calculated, and why these social credit scores explain the latest moves from "woke" companies.

Watch the video below to hear Glenn break it down:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Dallas Jenkins is a storyteller — and he's telling the most important story of all time in a way that many believed was impossible.

Jenkins is the creator of "The Chosen," a free, crowdfunded series about the life of Jesus that rivals Hollywood productions. And Season 2 could not have arrived at a better time — on Easter weekend 2021. Church attendance has dropped, people are hungry for something bigger than all of us, and many are choosing social justice activism, political parties, or even the climate change movement as "religions" over God.

This Easter weekend, Jenkins joined Glenn on the "Glenn Beck Podcast" to discuss the aspects of Jesus that often get overlooked and break through the misconceptions about who Jesus really is to paint a clear picture of why America needs Emmanuel, "God with us," now more than ever.

Watch the full podcast below:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Award-winning investigative journalist Lara Logan joined Glenn Beck on the radio program this week to argue the Biden administration's border crisis is "enabling" drug cartels, allowing them to exploit migrants, use border wall construction roads, and cross the border much more easily.

Lara, who has witnessed and experienced firsthand some of the worst violence around the world as a war correspondent for CBS News, told Glenn it's "not an overstatement" to call the cartels in Mexico "the most violent and powerful criminal organizations on the face of the earth." And while they're "at war with us, we've been asleep at the wheel."

But Lara also offers solutions that the U.S. can enact to stop these horrific atrocities.

"There's more than 30,000 Mexican civilians who are massacred every year in Mexico by the cartels. And that's just the bodies that the Mexican government owns up to or knows about, right?" Lara said. "There's Mexicans buried in unmarked mass graves all across the country. I mean, everyone knows that the violence of the cartels is not like anything anyone has ever seen before. It even pales in comparison to, at times, to what terrorist groups like ISIS have done."

Lara went on to explain some of the unspeakable acts of violence and murder that occur at the hands of the Mexican cartels — 98% of which go uninvestigated.

"That's not unprosecuted, Glenn. That's uninvestigated," Lara emphasized. "[Cartels] operate with impunity. So the law enforcement guy, the policemen, the marine, the National Guardsmen, who are trying to do the right thing, who are not in the pocket of the cartels — what chance do those guys have? They've got no chance. You know where they end up? In one of those unmarked graves."

Watch the video below to catch more of the conversation:

(Content Warning: Disturbing content)



Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.