GLENN: Have you seen the latest poll? This is from, what is it, Zogby? This poll, I don't know, it's one of these stupid polls. Gallup. This is a Gallup poll. If you could have any President from our past run today, who would it be? I would also like to, before I have you answer that question, I would also like to have you answer this question: Do you have nothing going on in your life that you feel a question this unbelievably irrelevant, is worth your time to answer? "Oh, if I could have any President?" Any President from all time run today. What is this even supposed to prove besides how dumb people are? If you could have any President, bring them back to life in some Dr. Frankenstein sort of way, who would you bring back? Living or dead, next President of the United States, who would it be? Dan, who would it be for you?
DAN: I'll just take the first one, George Washington. He got things going. He got the ball rolling.
GLENN: George Washington?
GLENN: With the wooden teeth and all?
GLENN: I would like to know -- this would be fun. We'll be able to be in this Gallup poll and say, well, do they update their style or anything? I mean, does he have to have the wooden teeth and the wig because he probably wouldn't be really effective. I just want to know the parameters here. The stovepipe hat? He's pretty ugly. Can we just have him on radio? Can FDR walk?
Can you imagine FDR now? Can you imagine hiding your disability? Well, let me ask you that question. Wow, do you think we would elect FDR today? Because nobody would hide his disability. Do you think we would elect him, a guy in a wheelchair? Stu just looked at me through the window and just said, yeah, I don't think so. I wonder. You think so Stu?
STU: Yeah. I don't think that that -- I think that this would be the time. I think back in the day they tried to hide that because, you know, it was something at that point, you know, people weren't ready for it or whatever. Now, I mean, I think --
GLENN: I don't think so.
STU: I do. I think we think about how the person -- I mean --
GLENN: We would see him as weak.
STU: I disagree with that. What are you talking about?
GLENN: I'm not saying this is my belief.
STU: No, I know. But really?
GLENN: You know what? I think it's an abomination that we hide the wheelchair in the FDR Memorial. Have you ever seen that? Yeah, they have a cape and all you see is just a little bit of the wheel.
STU: But that's how he wanted to be remembered.
GLENN: Yeah. Well, whatever.
GLENN: I mean, we've had our first handicapped President. I mean, that's a huge milestone. And we hid it. It would be like finding out that, you know, Woodrow Wilson was an African-American that wore makeup and we would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, let a statue have the makeup on. What are you talking about? This is a big accomplishment. This is a big deal.
STU: History should be history on this, should be told. I mean, we don't do that in any of our textbooks. I don't know why we would start with memorials.
GLENN: I'm sure Nixon wanted to be remembered as a good President.
STU: Yeah, but I don't think that that would be a problem at this point. I disagree with you.
GLENN: Think we would elect -- I think we would elect a woman President, African-American President. Don't think at this time in our life we would elect a Jewish President because I think too many people would say it will be seen in the Middle East as we are totally biased. It wouldn't be an anti-Semite thing. It would be a strategy thing, I believe.
STU: I don't under -- the wheelchair thing, though, doesn't make any sense to me. Why would we care about -- think they're weak, that's silly.
GLENN: That's what people would do. As he would walk up for his speech, I would think of the strength. But too many people -- I mean, people do it in their own life. They see their weakness. He did it. They see their weakness as weakness instead of a strength. You know this guy used to rehearse how many steps it would take to go from the backstage to the podium? He would rehearse it. They would say, Mr. President, you're going to have 18 steps this Saturday. And he would say, I want no cane, I want nothing. Bill, you come by. You just hold onto my elbow. And he would rehearse all week for 18 steps.
STU: Yeah, but we see -- if we were to see someone leading the free world with a major disability, we would see it as overcoming something.
GLENN: Absolutely we would. But I don't think you would get that opportunity. I don't think you would get the opportunity today to serve.
STU: We're not, you know, recruiting a guy to lead on the front lines of battle or to do a high jump. We're talking about a guy who's in his office because of his mind and his ability to communicate. If it affected his ability to communicate, it would be something that you'd need to consider.
GLENN: I'm not talking about Stephen Hawking.
STU: Right. But if that happened, you would have to consider that.
GLENN: But why not have Stephen Hawking? He's so bright.
STU: Because your ability to communicate is part of your job as we've seen over the past seven years.
GLENN: I think Stephen Hawking would be a better communicator than George W. Bush.
STU: That's not true.
GLENN: I think that's a possibility. I would like to see a debate between Stephen Hawking and George W. Bush and I bet Stephen Hawking wins. And it takes him 20 minutes to answer a question. I think he wins.
STU: It's hard to stumble when you're picking up words from --
GLENN: It's hard to win a debate when you're typing with your eye.
STU: That's what I'm saying. I mean, it's also hard to stumble, though. You are not going to type this same half of the word twice. You're typing.
GLENN: I'm just sayin'. I'm just sayin'. Here's the thing. I think people would see, in the campaign, they would see that as a weakness.
STU: I don't. I totally disagree with that.
GLENN: As he's -- do you know how many -- do you know how much time is spent on making sure that there's a little box for the short ones to stand on, to make sure that there's no height difference between the two? You've got --
STU: That's totally different. That is not overcoming a disability, being short. Unless again you're in the NBA.
GLENN: You've got to overcome stuff if you're short, come on.
STU: Yeah, if you're a member of the Sacramento Kings, then yes. But I don't think that that's what we're talking about. We're talking about a job that's based on your ability to communicate and your intellect.
GLENN: Yeah. And so why is it that short people feel like they have to have steps on the podium, so they look like the same height?
STU: Because I think, I think that that has something to do with presentation and stuff.
GLENN: It has everything to do with psychological, people look at them and say, look at the other guy, he towers over them, that's a position of strength. The guy wheels himself in, people would see that -- I wouldn't. I would see that as a strength. Other people would see that as --
STU: No, but people who see -- the instant thing that you feel when you see someone who's trying to overcome a physical disability --
GLENN: Try this.
STU: -- is that it's -- you feel bad for them. You want to say --
GLENN: Would Taft be elected today?
STU: William Howard Taft?
STU: That was my answer for who I would bring back because that guy, he rocked.
GLENN: Would Taft be elected today? He was the guy who was so fat, they had to replace the bathtub in the White House. When I was at the White House, I asked to see the Taft bathtub. No longer exists. I think that should be in a museum.
STU: I totally agree with that.
STU: I think, agree, I think a fatty could get into the White House.
GLENN: You are out of your mind. You are out of your mind. You are out of your mind.
STU: It depends on the circumstances.
GLENN: On what circumstances? That we all are honest with ourselves and we all look at each other and go, jeez, I mean, look at us. There's no way a fat man is going to become President of the United States.
STU: Bill Clinton wasn't exactly svelte.
GLENN: I'm not saying that. Are you comparing Bill Clinton with Taft?
STU: Well, yes. Overweight Presidents? There's not too many in the category.
GLENN: There's a difference between overweight -- that's like saying I like big cars. You know, I like big cars. I like the new Cutlass, or I like the new, you know, Abrams tank. There's a slight difference in size.
STU: Perhaps I don't remember my Taft history.
GLENN: Taft was so big they had to replace the bathtub in the White House for him! People would -- a fatty fat fatso come up to the -- he could be the smartest guy, he could be the best communicator but he would walk up to the podium and people automatically think here's a guy who's out of control, he can't control his weight, blah, blah, blah. What happens if there's a disability? There are a lot of people who try and try and try and cannot lose weight. He would never be elected to be President of the United States because he's a fatty fat fatso.
STU: I think that's much more legitimate than your stupid wheelchair one. That makes no sense. The wheelchair one makes no sense.
GLENN: You are telling me you've never met a fat person who has tried and struggled and done everything they can and they cannot lose weight?
STU: Have I ever met one?
GLENN: Yeah. Oh, come on. You're kidding me.
STU: Met one? Not in a theoretical, it's a glandular sense, which we've heard a hundred million times. Have I ever actually met someone with a glandular thing? Is that what you're asking me?
GLENN: I don't know if it's a glandular thing. I've met people who -- and don't ask me for the names but call Tania and she'll tell you. I met people who have exercised, who eat right and they just can't lose weight. They can't do it.
STU: Well, I would say --
GLENN: Look at the fat bias.
STU: What do you mean fat bias? I'm fat. I'm just saying --
GLENN: You're not fat. You're fat like I'm fat. I'm talking Taft fat!
STU: What I'm saying is that I will admit to you that I believe that people like that exist. I will also admit to you that most of the people who say they are those people are snacking on Double Quarter Pounders behind your back.
GLENN: I agree with you. I'm saying the one who can't lose weight, who works out, who can't lose weight.
STU: In theory I believe those people exist.
GLENN: So in theory that's the person that waddles up to the podium next to a svelte anybody.
STU: That would be much more difficult in today's world.
GLENN: Do you think that John McCain would have an easy time with -- the guy can't lift his arms up. Let's say he was just in a car accident, whatever. Can't lift his arms up. Do you think that -- it's the exact opposite. A guy who was in a car accident, can't lift his arms up. Every time he lifts his arms up, if it was a car accident people think, don't keep the button very high. It would be jokes like that, et cetera, et cetera.
STU: Like Dole. Remember Dole with the --
GLENN: Exactly right. With John McCain, however, it came as a war hero. So every time he tries to lift his arms, you remember the bamboo cage and you are like, man, that guy is amazing. You remember the bamboo cage. It's the same thing except in reverse. You see the fatty fat fatso and you're like, guy's out of control. Even if he says, no, look, here's a note from my doctor; I can't lose weight. Guy's out of control. It automatically says that. If you look at any study on anybody, the reason why people don't succeed -- and this isn't universally true, but generally speaking according to studies, the reason why fat people don't climb the corporate ladder is because -- not because the rungs can't hold them. It's because people in higher positions look down and say, this person is out of control.
STU: Right, that you don't have it together.
STU: But I think this is a legitimate -- I think you are right on this one. This is what I've been trying to say. It's the other one. It's looked at completely the opposite.
GLENN: People are not -- tell me why Obama has people crying and passing out at his -- nobody's listening to his policies. It's all about the image.
STU: Image, I know.
GLENN: If you can -- and I don't think you'd get this opportunity. If you could take somebody in a wheelchair and make sure that that story of them conquering everything and they've climbed Mt. Everest and whatever, if they were somebody that was in Sports Illustrated for their prowess in sports, then maybe we.
STU: I think that's exactly how people would embrace that.
GLENN: It's the only way people would embrace that.
STU: Look at the number one President on this list, it's JFK. I mean, with reason why JFK is the number one on this list is because he's dead. Let's be honest about it.
GLENN: You are taking my point.
STU: No, I'm not. I'm saying that when people see horrible things happen to someone, they tend to embrace that, not reject it. So if you're in a wheelchair, people would embrace the fact that you're overcoming something difficult.
GLENN: People are uncomfortable with wheelchairs. If anybody in a wheel -- if you are in a wheelchair, call me right now. If you are in a wheelchair, you tell me whether or not people relate to you like they do other people. Too many people are immediately uncomfortable with a wheelchair because just the exact opposite is true. They see something horrible and they don't even want to think about it.
STU: All you people with a wheelchair that have run for President, you call and tell us all your experience about running for President in your wheelchair.
GLENN: That's not what I -- what do you mean by running for President in your wheelchair? What kind of -- why hate the fat people and the people in wheelchairs today, Stu? Why all the hate?
STU: Can we just hear the history of William Howard Taft? Do you think we can hear that or not?