A Disheartening Revelation

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This article was featured in the January/February issue of Fusion Magazine. Look for a follow-up article in an upcoming issue.

“In college, I wanted to be an architect,” says balding, greasy pitchman Dr. Robert Jarvik in his latest commercial for the cholesterol drug Lipitor. “But after my father had a heart attack, I devoted my life to studying the heart.”

“Good for you,” I thought to myself as I picked up the remote. But before I could change the channel, the serious voice-over guy came on with 11 little words that changed my life: “Dr. Robert Jarvik is the inventor of the ‘Jarvik Artificial Heart.’”

Excuse me? An artificial heart? Why had I never heard of that before? How much did it cost? How quickly could I get one? I had so many questions.

Like most Americans, my doctor has become increasingly concerned about my health as I’ve aged. My weight, blood pressure, triglycerides, and cholesterol numbers have all climbed into dangerous territory, and terms like “your blood has a syrup-like consistency,” and “there’s only room for the first three digits” are now tossed around regularly during my doctor visits. No matter what I try (except exercise; that actually seems to work) every lab report is bleaker than the last.

But now, thanks to Dr. Jarvik, I have been given a new lease on life. After my artificial heart replacement surgery, I would never again worry about trivial things like diet, exercise, or blood consistency. I went to bed that night secure in the notion that not only would I be eternal (so long as I kept changing the batteries) but that I’d also enjoy a 50-pack of chocolate Munchkins in the morning with absolutely no regret. I slept well.

The next day, I got right to work on Google. As the search results loaded into my browser, I was overcome with an eerie sense that I was about to see my own immortality displayed right there on the screen. I got goose bumps just thinking about it.

Then it happened.

I had clicked on an MSNBC article that looked promising, but as the page loaded slowly onto my screen my mouth opened wide with disbelief and munchkin crumbs flew everywhere.

“Despite past failures, Dr. Robert Jarvik succeeds hawking statin drug Lipitor.”

Past failures? What failures?

I’ll save you the suspense: Jarvick’s “artificial heart” is a fraud. After graduating from Syracuse, the good doctor couldn’t find a U.S. medical school to admit him. So he went to Italy (which, as everyone knows, is famous for their medical breakthroughs). He only stayed there for two years.

After returning to the U.S., Jarvik eventually got a degree in medical engineering from NYU and then a medical degree in Utah years later. He never practiced medicine, however, and he only became famous after using someone else’s patent to develop the “Jarvik 7” artificial heart. In 1982 that device was implanted into a dentist. He survived 112 mostly painful days.

Later, after more deaths, the New York Times called the Jarvik 7, “the Dracula of medical technology” and declared that “the crude machines, with their noisy pumps, simply wore out the human body and spirit.”

I’m no medical engineer, but that doesn’t sound like a glowing review.

Jarvik’s “new and improved” device is called the Jarvik 2000, which sounds like something out of a bad science fiction movie, and probably is. It’s still in clinical trials, but initial reports don’t seem to indicate that mass numbers of humans will be undergoing full heart replacements anytime soon.

Call me crazy, but I always thought that the whole point of making something artificial is because it’s better than the original. Artificial sweeteners; no calories. Artificial tanning; no burns. Artificial breasts—well, you get the point. But that memo apparently never made it to Dr. Jarvik. But there is one thing that I do know: thanks to Jarvik’s incompetence my visions of eternal life have now been replaced with visions of vegetables, sit-ups, tread mills, and, ironically enough, Lipitor.

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Blaze TV hosts Glenn Beck , Chad Prather, and Steven Crowder weighed-in with similar but different thoughts on the fascism associated with canceling Dr. Seuss.

Glenn Beck can't help but wonder, "What is wrong with us?" in light of the Dr. Seuss books that have been cancelled due to "hurtful and wrong" illustrations — that takes America one step closer to complete insanity.

Chad Prather approached the issue from a comedic perspective, stating that "Dr. Seuss is dead and could not be reached for comment."

Steven Crowder explained that Dr. Seuss books were banned for being offensive and insensitive to some. So Steven decided to parody the six banned children's books with progressively titled and hilariously inappropriate versions.

Read the full story from TheBlaze News here.

'We DON'T destroy books'

"They are banning Dr. Seuss books. How much more do you need to see before all of America wakes up? ... This is fascism!" Glenn said. "We don't destroy books. What is wrong with us, America?" - Glenn Beck. Download the podcast here.

Chad Prather's comedic take on why Dr. Seuss got canceled

"Dr. Seuss is dead and could not be reached for comment'"- Chad Prather. Download the podcast here.

Dr. Seuss BANNING Bonanza! New Progressive Book Titles Revealed! 

In this 7+1 segment-- Crowder uncovers, new, unreleased Dr. Seuss titles that will be released in the near future (parody). Download the podcast here.

Use promo code BLAZE to save $10 on one year of BlazeTV.

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To enjoy more Glenn, Chad, and Steven subscribe to BlazeTV - News & entertainment for people who love America.

"What's your climate credit score?" That's a question Americans may have to answer if the green global elites get their way.

While the media has distracted us with Orange Man Bad! and Russia, Russia, Russia!, the Left has been busy working on the fundamental transformation of America with a primary pressure point — YOUR money through YOUR bank. Democrats, forgetting the words of MLK, like to group people into categories. They judge you based on what skin color you have, your religion, occupation, your ideology, and now … your carbon footprint.

On his Wednesday night TV special this week, Glenn Beck exposes how they're now planning, not only to categorize you, but to give you a score. It'll determine everything for you: whether you can buy a home, get a new car, open a business … EVERYTHING. And if you don't bend the knee? You'll be blacklisted. But this isn't some far-off conspiracy theory. Multiple big U.S. banks are part of a private U.S. financial group enacting these policies now. It's here, and we're ALL at risk.

Watch the full episode below:

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To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Unlike the mainstream media, we at the "Glenn Beck Radio Program" decided to actually do the research and get to the bottom of CPAC's controversial stage design, which many on the Left have suggested was purposefully shaped like an obscure Nazi symbol. We got our answers straight from the source — and it's not what the media is suggesting.

American Conservative Union chairman Matt Schlapp joined Glenn on Wednesday to share the real story of the stage design, who designed it, and why he's taking legal options against those smearing the Conservative Political Action Conference's name seriously.

Matt told Glenn he'd never heard of the alleged Nazi insignia, noting that even a staff member who "studied anti-Semitism in college" did not recognize the obscure symbol. He went on to explain how the stage designing firm, Design Foundry, and Hyatt Hotels worked collaboratively with CPAC event organizers for months throughout the designing and construction of the stage. However, when pressured by the cancel culture mob on social media, both companies "ran for the tall grass."

"Both the Hyatt and [Design Foundry] looked to CPAC and said [they] had nothing to do with this stage. That's outrageous," Matt stated. "This whole process takes months ... everybody saw this. Everybody had to figure out how to construct this. Everybody had eyes on it from every angle. And nobody in that process ever raised their hand and said, 'Oh, you know, I took a European history class, and I noticed [that the stage design looked like a Nazi symbol.] Nobody."

Matt went on to add that, while CPAC expects attacks from the Left, they also have every intention of standing up for themselves, the conservative community, the Jewish community, and all the people who love America.

"We're fine with taking the hits. We always take the hits, it's part of being a prominent conservative group. We'll take the hits, but we won't let people lie," Matt said.

"I can't tell you how many people have called me during the course of this most tumultuous of years and said, at what point does the conservative community, do the 74 million Americans who voted for Donald Trump, do the people who love America, and think it's okay to read Dr. Seuss, and love Thomas Jefferson and Mount Rushmore, at what point do they start pushing back on the cancel culture? At what point do they say, this is a line you can't cross? I think we're at that line," he added.

"We called our conference, 'America Uncanceled.' The whole thing became about them canceling us. At what point do we not have the right to say,' you can't treat us this way'? You're disparaging us. You're destroying our reputation. You're destroying our ability to be respected members of our community. So, I'm taking your challenge of pursuing our legal options very seriously. And I think we have to go broader. We can't let these companies just follow the woke mob. We can't do it."

Watch the video clip below to catch more of the conversation:

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CNN reporter Jim Acosta was confronted at CPAC by The Federalist reporter David Marcus with a valid question: "When are you guys going to start covering Cuomo?" His answer — or, really, lack of an answer — perfectly demonstrates why he was earlier surrounded by CPAC attendees chanting, "CNN sucks!"

On the "Glenn Beck Radio Program" Tuesday, Glenn and producer Stu Burguiere react to a video clip of the exchange with Acosta, as well as the mainstream media's double standards when it comes to Democratic New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo.

Watch the video below:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.