GLENN: Somebody sent me a piece from the Huffington Post and I laughed for an hour. It was tearing me apart. Let me see what it says. "Normally it's merely amusing when CNN's Glenn Beck is dishing out his usual bowlful of antiintellectual goulash but when he starts misrepresenting the positions of this nation's founding fathers, well, that's when this gets real. And in today's daily e-mail Glenn has this to say about Benjamin Franklin. If Ben Franklin were around, he would certainly be labeled a hate monger, blah, blah, blah. Actually from what I know of Franklin, he would probably be," blah, blah, blah. Let's see. "My interest is piqued. I pressed on into the dense undergrowth of Beck's mental kudzu and I found a rant about how ill -- what?
STU: Who talks like this? Is there any human being that would ever say any of these sentences? God, I hate these writers. They suck.
GLENN: Okay, "How ill informed people imagine how the Federal Reserve could just print all the money it likes and then suddenly transform an indictment of Barack Obama where he is actually accused of telling poor people that they will never make it in life."
So they are accusing me of making things up that we can just print more money. Uh-huh. Really, really? Okay. Well, I stand corrected then. Okay. So I go on and I talk about -- here's one of my favorite quotes on poverty. This is quoting me from TV. "You know one of my favorite quotes from poverty comes from Benjamin Franklin. I love this. He said, we should just make the poor uncomfortable and kick them out of poverty." I love that, okay? This guy goes, "I bet he loves that. You know what I'd love? To be able to find where or when Franklin ever said this because so far I've had no luck. Along the way, however, I've discovered that Franklin was hardly insensitive to the travails of the poverty stricken," and he goes on for paragraph after paragraph after paragraph of how stupid I am and where did I possibly get that quote. Then I go down to the blog. Oh, shoot, this does not have the blog. Where is the blog? Comments here. Then it goes on to the blog section and they are all coming on and saying, -- the comments section, yeah. You know what I'm talking about?
STU: Yeah, at the bottom where everyone posts the little comments.
GLENN: For some reason it won't come up. Probably because it made them look like an idiot.
STU: Ben Franklin would have been prepared for this segment.
GLENN: I know, you about I just thought of it.
STU: Actually Ben Franklin said in 1784 that on the comments section of my website I will make sure that it opens freely and easily for the people.
GLENN: The little finger is there. I've got a little finger for you. You know what it is. Honestly I think it's just because it made them look so unbelievably stupid. And it's just everything that you need to know about these people.
STU: Can you summarize? I want to hear.
STU: Yeah, here it is. It's downloading. Okay.
GLENN: At 2600 baud? Jeez, someday we'll be able to download pictures in realtime they say. Basically what it said was, you know, oh, it's people like this; they don't even know what they're talking about. Beck is so stupid he's, you know, this and that and just, I mean, some of the worst things you could possibly imagine. And then one guy writes in and says, actually he was paraphrasing Franklin. It took me five minutes to find what he was talking about, and he said, quote. It didn't say --
STU: Didn't say kick them out.
GLENN: It didn't say kick them out. It said push them out. It didn't say --
GLENN: Yeah, it didn't say -- what was the other thing I said? We should make them uncomfortable -- make the poor uncomfortable. It said make them not comfortable and we should push them out, something like that. Wait, wait. But then after that, no one recognized it. They continued to say how stupid I -- it was like that happen fact just never existed. They just kept going: Yeah, they're always making stuff up.
STU: Look, I searched the Internet for Ben Franklin using the word, "apostrophe em" in a sentence, em, and I don't remember him saying it. Glenn Beck is a liar.
GLENN: So funny. Stu that's sophisticated.
STU: Good job, genius.
GLENN: Here's the actual quote. Quote: I think the best way of doing good to the poor is not making them easy in poverty but leading or driving them out of it. It's from the price of corn and management of the poor, 1129, 1766. But why not just write a blog about how I'm so stupid, Franklin never said that, when there it is.