GLENN: All right. So let's talk a little bit about John McCain and tell you about a very unscientific poll that we take here on the program. We send it out how often, Dan?
DAN: We've been doing it once a month since Super Tuesday. That will be the third installment.
STU: I will argue that this is not scientific. There is no scientist that would back this up, okay?
GLENN: Oh, no, it's just as valid as any other poll.
STU: Yeah, because this is -- when you look at -- people say web poll, that makes no sense. But this is -- we're not asking for -- this is not the nation's opinion. This is our audience's opinion and, you know, you can certainly say it came out in the newsletter. It's not one you can go on necessarily and go spam.
GLENN: This is what I would guess. These numbers are exactly what I would guess would happen in this poll.
STU: Yeah. And it's happening about the same pace.
DAN: We're talking tens of thousands of people are taking these polls. So these are solid numbers.
GLENN: Okay. So the poll is John McCain. You're a happy McCain supporter. The next one is, I want to teach the GOP a lesson, I'll vote Hillary or Obama. Another one is, I don't like McCain but I'll vote for him anyway. And the other one is vote for third party or won't vote at all. When we first took this poll right at Super Tuesday and John McCain won, "Will vote third party or not vote at all," was at 50% of the respondents. That has now fallen to what? I don't have the exact number here.
GLENN: Jeez. The lowest was happy McCain supporter at what percentage?
DAN: When we first did it, it was 5.2%.
GLENN: And it's now?
DAN: It is now at 22%.
GLENN: The next lowest was "Teach GOP a lesson, vote Hillary or Obama" was at?
GLENN: And it's now?
GLENN: And then don't like McCain but vote for him anyway was now at
GLENN: Now at?
STU: As you get further away from the primary where you thought you had better choices, you start embracing McCain.
STU: And it winds up being that he's -- you know, it's the same exact thing you are going to see in the Democratic side.
GLENN: Oh, yeah, it's driving me crazy to hear people say, oh, well, if my candidate doesn't win, I'm going to vote for John McCain. No, you won't. No, you won't. Just like, you know, people didn't move to Canada when Bush won. I'm not really going to move to Bermuda.
GLENN: Bahamas. I meant if anybody wins.
DAN: You are not?
GLENN: You guys are still -- here's the thing on the move to the Bahamas, guys. I'm all with you, but we have to be self-sufficient. So solar power is good. But what are we going to -- what are we going to eat? Just grow sugar cane?
STU: I think you are misunderstanding here. You are moving to get away from society. You want to go to this place where nothing can touch you. I plan on moving to --
GLENN: John Galt comes to mind.
DAN: I'm still going to grocery shop.
STU: I plan on living at a resort. Yes, I plan on living at a Sandals.
GLENN: I'm not building a Sandals. If I'm living on the island, I'm not building a Sandals.
STU: I'll live on the next island and I'll commute by rowboat.
GLENN: There will be razor wire in the water. Believe me, guys, it's all going to be fun and games to you until one day I just disappear.
STU: I do not at all doubt that. And actually I think it would be interesting programming that day.
GLENN: It really would be.
STU: It really would.
GLENN: "We have no idea where Glenn is." How long do you think it takes, how long do I have to be gone before you guys all realize, I don't think he went to go get some M&Ms, I think he's gone.
STU: This is like the Atlantic City mayor. Remember he just disappeared for, like, a month and no one did anything? And then all of a sudden we're like, maybe we should get a new mayor? The time line's a little bit loose there but I remember it was a long time, way too long to just not have a mayor showing up every day and he just disappeared. I feel like with you, we would give you a couple of days. Then we would --
GLENN: Couple of days?
DAN: Yeah, if my e-mail box was empty and I didn't have like a 2:00 a.m. e-mail from Glenn.
STU: Which we got last night, by the way.
DAN: Which we got last night. If I didn't get one of those for maybe 48 hours.
GLENN: Then you would be, oh, boy, he's dead or not coming back.
STU: Get Pat Gray on the phone.
DAN: Or he's drunk, one or the other.
GLENN: No, I would still be writing you going, guys, you guys were right, Jack Daniels is -- I can do this show starting at 8:00 this morning. What do you say?
STU: This economy's fantastic!
GLENN: I got so much money, I just blew it all on Jack Daniels. Jack Daniels, screw gold. Currency of the future is booze!
And I believe in a sober condition that that may be accurate because if things really go in the crap can, we're all going to want to be hammered out of our mind. So growth industry, booze.
Next, John McCain. John McCain on David Letterman last night. For those of you who say, yeah, I'm not really a John McCain supporter but, ooh, what else am I going to do, I just want to play a little of John McCain for you on David Letterman. Here it is.
McCAIN: We are paying a heavy price for four years of mishandling of this war by Rumsfeld and others and --
LETTERMAN: Due to our position in the world. People have just now have greater and greater reason to resent us. We're supposed to be the leader and everything in the world but apparently not in this case in terms of humanity, for God sakes.
GLENN: Stop. Stop, stop. We're not the leader as far as humanity for God sakes. If you are the President of the United States, you want to be President of the United States, you want my vote, how do you answer that? "We are the leader of the free world. We do stand for human rights. You are totally wrong on that one." Have you been watching Keith Olbermann? You probably should stop doing that. We are the leader. We are the best hope for mankind. We still are. Name the country that's better than us, Dave. You can't.
Now, with that being said, have we made mistakes? Yes, and here are the ones I would like to correct. That's how you'd like to answer it. John McCain doesn't. John McCain accepts that premise that everybody hates us and we're no longer the leader as far as humanity, for God sakes.
McCAIN: I think it opposes a greater threat to the state of Israel because the Iranians are stronger rather than weaker since this happened. I think that if we set this withdrawal as you just mentioned a date forth, we would have chaos in the region. But we also need to do some other things.
GLENN: Listen to this.
McCAIN: I think we need to work together on global, on a global agreement on climate change. I think we've got --
GLENN: Stop. You've got to be kidding me. You go from the war -- you accept his premise, then you go from the war and you touch on that and then right to global climate change? By the way, Dan, just a preview for tomorrow's program. Could you please just play a little of Ted Turner? This is Ted Turner on Charlie Rose about global climate change. Listen to this.
TURNER: Doing it will be catastrophic. We'll have 8 degrees, we'll be 8 degrees hotter in 10 -- not 10 but in 30 to 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people, the rest of us will be cannibals. Civilization will be broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state like Somalia or Sudan.
GLENN: Stop just a second. Who's off their medication? Wow. At first I thought he was crazy when he said it would be 8 degrees warmer in ten years but then he clarified and said it's 30 or 40 years. And I went, oh, because the first statement was crazy because there's nothing to back that one up, Ted. Oh, but 30 or 40 years, 8 degrees? Stu?
GLENN: 30 or 40 years, 8 degrees, where is he pulling that one?
STU: Well, there's no projection that in 30 years is over 1 degree.
GLENN: No, it's 8 degrees.
STU: That is Celsius.
GLENN: Flat Earther. Here's -- flat Earther, shut up.
STU: What if he were --
GLENN: Shut up. The Holocaust happened and I won't hear your lies anymore.
The other thing that he says is that we're all going to be -- most people will be dead and then we'll be -- those who are left -- those who will be left will be cannibals. Stu, where is he finding the "We all turn into cannibals?"
STU: That one's not showing up on the chart.
GLENN: Stu, stop denying the Holocaust. I don't know why you hate Jews so much.
STU: I'm just saying --
GLENN: I don't know why you insist that the planet is flat. Any dummy will show you evidence that it's round.
STU: I didn't say that. I'll saying that there's no cannibalism.
GLENN: Oh, let's all just, you know, call the television set an evil magic box.
GLENN: What is wrong with you? We're all going to be cannibals and it's going to be 8 degrees warmer in 40 years. Now, that's, that's the most conservative estimate. It could be 30 years that we're all cannibals.
STU: Again I don't see that on this chart at all. I have all of the records --
GLENN: Okay. All right, all right, I cannot take your hate mongering. I cannot take -- and I wasn't going to play this card, Stu. Do you have any money in a retirement fund?
STU: Well, yes, I have --
GLENN: How much money have you invested in ExxonMobil?
STU: None that I know of. Maybe --
GLENN: None that you "Know of."
STU: Maybe it's in the mutual --
GLENN: Oh, now we find out it may be in one of the mutual funds.
STU: It's possible.
GLENN: It's possible. I'm sorry, Stu. We're going to have to dismiss you now from any kind of conversation on global warming. Not only are you denying all the facts on global warming but also you're clearly in bed with big oil.