Glenn: He's quite the character. That, he is. He'll just show you how nuts man can go. Here is Ted Turner on global warming. Listen to this.
Glenn: Stop. Stu, you're our global warming guy. You've been I asked you about two years ago to start doing research on global warming. Name one, name one scientist that says that it will be 8 degrees hotter and not 10.
Stu: Because that would be ridiculous.
Glenn: That was ridiculous at first. He said 10. Then he said 30 to 40. I said, oh, we've got lots of time. Name one scientist that says we're going to be 8 degrees hotter in 30 to 40 years.
Stu: I have never heard any scientist say that. That's not to say that isn't one. Maybe there is, but I'm looking at the 8 honestly, I don't think there is, but I'm looking at the eight projections, the main ones that they use for the big reports on global warming. You know, there are a bunch of graphs, but I'm just eyeballing them here. I would say it's safe to say that not one in 30 years, says it is anywhere over a degree I'm not a mathematics, so, that could have
Glenn: He could have meant 800 degrees Kelvin. We could be at absolute zero which, remember, is a little colder than zero on the Fahrenheit scale, but I heard in 50 years, if it's global cooling, not global warming because, remember, it's global climate change, we could be at least zero. Start making your muffs now. So, what are the ramifications, according to Ted Turner, speaking on Charlie Rose, PBS, that it's going to be 8 degrees warmer in 30 to 40 years, what are the ramifications of that?
Glenn: Stop, stop! This is the greatest stuff I've ever seen. Most people will within 30 to 40 years, this makes Al Gore look like a skeptic. Within 30 to 40 years, most people will have died, those that remain will be cannibals. So, we know that Stu is not going to survive because he doesn't eat meat. Wait a minute. Do you eat fat?
Stu: What do you mean?
Glenn: Do you eat fat? Will you eat animal fat?
Glenn: Yeah. So, Stu won't survive. I thought maybe it was just Stu around I left.
Stu: I might eat people. That's I haven't drawn that line yet.
Glenn: You haven't drawn that line?
Stu: No. I think I might eat people. Again, I haven't tasted
Glenn: I didn't think the meat thing was a taste thing.
Stu: No, it's not, but
Glenn: But people might be
Stu: People, they might be that good.
Glenn: People, people who eat people! It's a very good possibility. I don't know. I've never had people, either. Do we have anyone in the audience where's our there must be somebody who.
Stu: Oh, my gosh. We haven't done this in awhile. This is one I don't know that there is going to be someone who. I don't know that there must be someone.
Glenn: We have 8 million people who listen to this show.
Stu: Well, I realize that, but I don't think it's particularly
Glenn: That many people listening to the program, come on! There must be somebody, there must be somebody who
Voice: And now, it's I'm for another episode of There Must Be Somebody Who Has Eaten Human Flesh! Tasted, tasted people, eat extent people. You don't have to eat the whole person.
Stu: Do you have to swallow?
Glenn: No. And no money could be involved. It couldn't be, like, Hey, I'll give you $50 if you taste this human flesh. It's got to be because you wanted to do it.
Stu: I disagree with that completely. If you've taken a bet to eat human flesh, please call. I definitely want you to call. I want that to be explained. Where are you getting the human flesh from? Remember, we had that story a while ago about the woman who put the finger in the chili at Wendy's and then tried to claim that she got it that way.
Glenn: Uh huh.
Stu: I would talk to her.
Glenn: She had the chili around the finger.
Stu: I don't think we need to make this any other focused. I think we need to it up a little. .
Dan: Remember the prank game show, where it was like a fake setup to get people to get on a reality show and they told these people will be human flesh and somebody ate it. So, they thought they were eating human flesh and they actually ate it.
Glenn: For a reality show.
Stu: Does that count?
Glenn: No. We want to know what it taste like. We're all going to be dining on it. If we haven't died, we're going to be eating it in 30 to 40 years according to Ted Turner. I mean, geez. I'll be 70.
Stu: 30 years in 1978. You're talking after rocky I.
Glenn: Yeah. So, it's going to happen in our lifetime. We're going to be either the eaten or the eaters. This is Ted Turner. This is the guy that started one of the biggest news corporations in the world. I mean, this guy it's got credibility.
Stu: Yeah. I mean, 8 degrees.
Glenn: Odds that if Ted Turner ever got control of CNN again, that he would have someone eat me and Lou Dobbs?
Stu: I don't know the answer to that. That's, again, not in the
Glenn: I'm just asking you a speculate. I'm not asking for a I know this isn't scientific. There's no scientific
Stu: The debate it open here.
Glenn: Yeah. It's not
Stu: This isn't global warming.
Glenn: There's no consensus here on if he would eat me and Lou Dobbs, but I do the odds.
Stu: It would seem that it would be a bet that you wouldn't want to say.
Glenn: You wouldn't take
Stu: No. Just an estimate. Just a
Glenn: He would at least prepare me. He would at least have somebody prepare me. Do you know what I'm saying?
Stu: We thought the same thing about George Clooney, that he hated you. Maybe you guys would get along.
Glenn: No, no. Huh uh. I'm clear that Ted Turner hates me.
Stu: What if you guys, you know, go out for a cup of coffee and
Glenn: I don't drink coffee.
Stu: Again, maybe a cup of seltzer.
Glenn: I don't drink seltzer, either. And I'm not going to his steakhouse. Do you think I'm going to be sitting there in his steakhouse where he's got steak knives and I know he wants to eat me? I don't think so.
Stu: You know what's really weird, that is a guy is complaining about global warming when the meat industry causes more emissions than all the
Glenn: Bub, bub, bub. Hey, Hey, Hey.
Stu: That's odd.
Glenn: Hey, Hey! Knock it off. I don't know why you expect people on the global warming side to be consistent. They're right. Okay? They're right. They don't have to be
Stu: They can't be right both times.
Glenn: That's like Jesus. If that Jesus character wasn't completely fictitious, they would be Jesus. So, they can't be right all the time. And quite honestly, Ted's got to make money in meat.
Stu: He's got plenty of money.
Glenn: No. Listen to me. He's got to make money on meat this is speculation on my part, because what he's doing is he's making the money to be able to buy up a bunch of freezers in the middle of the country and he's disguising them as buffalo freezers, cow freezers. In 30 to 40 years, while everybody else is just out, you know, in the street eating people, Ted will have a string of fine people steakhouses for those discerning cannibals.
Glenn: And everybody will be sitting in there going, I never saw this coming.
Stu: Thank God.
Glenn: And he'll say, I've been talking about cannibalism for 40 years. That's what I've been doing.
Stu: That's the worth impression.
Glenn: I don't know. I don't spend a lot of time with Ted Turner. So, I don't know if that's what he really sounds like or if that's what he's planning. I'm just saying, if I knew we would be cannibals in 40 years
Stu: Uh huh.
Glenn: I would do one of two things. One, I would try to buy the network back to be able to get that cannibal story out as much as I could because I would think I have a responsibility to the human race to let them know in 40 years you're going to be tasting meat or I would check myself into a lunatic asylum or I would start a steakhouse.
Stu: I would start stockpiling seasoning.
Glenn: And I would prepare to prepare.
Stu: I don't know, Glenn. It may very will be true. I mean, looking at these numbers, he obviously has information no one else has.
Glenn: No one else has. Not even the IPCC. Al Gore hasn't been privy not cannibalism. Could you play it again, because it is so when he says it, it's just so accurate in its feel.
Stu: It's a very measured, precise statement.