Glenn Beck: DocX

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Glenn: This is the third most listened to show in all of America. Hello, you sick, twisted freak. My name is Glenn Beck. And, you know, when I talk about pure evil, I think you understand what I'm talking about, right? Pure evil. Usually I'm just talking about somebody like President Ahmadinejad from Iran, a man who wants to murder innocent people and, you know, do what's best for you are and your family, but there's something that I have discovered, that I think is quite possibly the most evil thing I've ever seen. This is saying something because I know evil, inside and out. I look for it every day. It's you ready? It's the DOCX file. Has anybody else had the fun of DOCX yet? If you're not already nodding going, oh, I hate DOCX, let me tell you what it is. It's the new version of Microsoft office that comes with this stuff: It's the new kind of Word file. Just what I needed, a new Word file, because my other one was working perfectly fine. Let's just change it. I mean, it has to do something spectacular, right? The other one was great, didn't have a problem with the other one. So, this is giving me a new word file. What does it do? All kinds of great things! Oh, oh, oh. It does, like well, one of its highlights is if you send your DOCX file to somebody, they can't open it. It's they'll say, I can't open this file. You'll go, what? I can't open it. No. It doesn't matter who sends it to me, I can't open theirs, either. For some reason Microsoft Word files made in 2008 also can't be read by anybody who has the new Microsoft Word because like you need something that was written in 2008. You know? I mean, why, Microsoft, would you do that? What am I getting out of the DOCX that I didn't get out of dock? I mean, of course you can get around this by going to save as and selecting safe as Microsoft Word 2003 document which is easy. Seriously. It's no big deal. See, that way both the old word and the new word can read it, but you have to select it. Save as Microsoft Word 72003 program. Why wouldn't you just make it naturally work that way? Why do I have to go and push the little button? Why do I have to select an option so the exact same program from the exact same company that's one year old can read it? I'm not a computer designer, but I am a thinker. I'm just thinking. Why? But, you know, I come out and I say, oh, the new Vista thing, that's evil. You know, once again going right for the evil thing and not looking at the upside, not looking at the right side. Oh, Hey, Mr. Grumpy Puss is back. I mean, why don't you talk about some of the advantages of DOCX? I mean, with the new with the new version, you you know, you get the privilege of not being able to find any of the old features. I love that! You know all the features that you have in the old Word that you've been using for, like, a decade? You can't find them. I have no idea. You know, it's really convenient. It saves so much time.

For example, I mean, why would I ever need the file menu? Why would you ever need that? They're sitting around. They're, like, that's so, like, last month. I'm sure some dope said, but everybody uses the file menu. That's commonly hello! Okay, grandpa. So, I mean, is that's something that I was using all the time. The file menu? Don't even know what it was, quite honestly. The edit menu? What? Don't worry. I've only clicked on it, like, every 15 seconds for the last 20 years. The edit menu? Who need that had? Why not break it up into 12 different icons that nobody knows who the hell those icons are? Spread them out, like, 9 different places. People like to explore. See, I think Microsoft aren't they the people that did Expedia? They did some travel service or something at one point? I think they were, like, Hey, people like to explore, they like to go on vacation. We can make our software like a little vacation. It's like Where's Waldo? Everybody likes to play that. Where's the file menu? Where's the cut can/copy? Where is that? I don't know. Maybe I should go explore. It's like you're in a jungle all of the sudden. It's wonderful! Vista. New horizons. Seems rational to me.

I know, I know. I'll get, like, 1,200 e mails saying, Glenn, just triple click the mailings tab and then hold down Y9 and everything is going to be fine. I know. It's just that easy. Don't bother sending them. I'm just making it up, you know. I would just rather sit in my house with veins popping out of my forehead praying for the safe return of the file menu, but I'm sure I'm alone. Right, grandpa? Oh, man.

Glenn gives the latest coronavirus numbers, updating YOU on everything needed to know as Americans and officials monitor China's new COVID-19 virus:

Daily Stats as of 5:30 AM CT (from John's Hopkins)

  • Total Confirmed Cases Worldwide: 799,995 (up from 735,135 Yesterday)
  • Total Confirmed Deaths Worldwide: 38,735 (up from 34,807 Yesterday)
  • Total Confirmed Recovered Worldwide: 169,995 (up from 155,950 Yesterday)
  • 5% of Active Cases are considered serious (requiring hospitalization) Steady from 5% Yesterday, but down from 19% high back in February
  • Note that 11% of US Confirmed Cases require Hospitalization, roughly on par with Italy at 12% requiring hospitalization
  • US has 164,359 Confirmed Cases and 3,173 Deaths, up from 142,746 cases and 2,489 deaths Yesterday
  • The United States of America now leads the world in total confirmed cases, with 63,000 more cases than Italy (although Italy leads the world in Deaths with 11,591 officially dead)
  • US has 3,173 Dead vs 5,507 Recovered and 3,512 in Critical Condition
  • The US Currently has 155,679 Active Cases of COVID-19, with less than 0.6% of the total US population tested
  • 15% of Americans who have been tested have been diagnosed with COVID-19
The Moment of Trump's Conversion: Dr Anthony Fauci Takes Full Responsibility
  • Dr Anthony Fauci, the Chief Medical Advisor to the coronavirus task force, explained on CNN that Trump listened and "got it right away" after being shown new data projecting as many as 3 Million deaths in the US if COVID-19 mitigation policies were lifted.
  • Fauci also said Trump's "first goal is to prevent suffering and death" and this was part of the reason why he knew the COVID-19 guidelines should be extended.
  • "You know, interestingly, we showed him the data, he looked at the data and he got it right away, it was a pretty clear picture," according to Fauci.
  • "Dr. Debbie Birx and I went in together and leaned over his desk and said 'Here is the data, take a look.'
  • Trump reportedly looked at them, understood the implications and he shook his head and said 'I guess we got to do it.'
  • "Medically, this is the right decision, and I stand behind it 100%," Fauci said.
  • "From a public health standpoint, we felt strongly that it would have been the wrong decision to pull back," Fauci said. "I mean, we are scientists, physicians, public health officials. We're not economists. We're sensitive to the idea that the economy could suffer, but weigh that against tens of thousands, hundreds of thousands of American lives."
  • " was patently obvious looking at the data that at the end of the day if we try to push back prematurely, not only would we lose lives, but it probably would hurt the economy as well. So you would lose on double accounts. So, to us, there was no question what the right choice was."
Washington DC, Virginia, Maryland Join States Issuing House Arrest Orders
  • Maryland and Virginia became the latest states on Monday to enact "stay-at-home" mandates amid the coronavirus outbreak, except for essential travel for work.
  • Virginia's order is in effect until June 10, making it one of the longest statewide mandates implemented so far.
  • Maryland's penalties for violating its order are among some of the strictest in the country, including a $1000 fine, and up to 30 days jail time for repeat offenders.
  • In total, more than 210 Million Americans now effectively live under some form of House Arrest or Shelter In Place type orders, with another, 50 Million facing travel or shopping/eating restrictions.
  • Only 6 states have not closed schools.