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Glenn: This is the third most listened to show in all of America. Hello, you sick, twisted freak. My name is Glenn Beck. And, you know, when I talk about pure evil, I think you understand what I'm talking about, right? Pure evil. Usually I'm just talking about somebody like President Ahmadinejad from Iran, a man who wants to murder innocent people and, you know, do what's best for you are and your family, but there's something that I have discovered, that I think is quite possibly the most evil thing I've ever seen. This is saying something because I know evil, inside and out. I look for it every day. It's you ready? It's the DOCX file. Has anybody else had the fun of DOCX yet? If you're not already nodding going, oh, I hate DOCX, let me tell you what it is. It's the new version of Microsoft office that comes with this stuff: It's the new kind of Word file. Just what I needed, a new Word file, because my other one was working perfectly fine. Let's just change it. I mean, it has to do something spectacular, right? The other one was great, didn't have a problem with the other one. So, this is giving me a new word file. What does it do? All kinds of great things! Oh, oh, oh. It does, like well, one of its highlights is if you send your DOCX file to somebody, they can't open it. It's they'll say, I can't open this file. You'll go, what? I can't open it. No. It doesn't matter who sends it to me, I can't open theirs, either. For some reason Microsoft Word files made in 2008 also can't be read by anybody who has the new Microsoft Word because like you need something that was written in 2008. You know? I mean, why, Microsoft, would you do that? What am I getting out of the DOCX that I didn't get out of dock? I mean, of course you can get around this by going to save as and selecting safe as Microsoft Word 2003 document which is easy. Seriously. It's no big deal. See, that way both the old word and the new word can read it, but you have to select it. Save as Microsoft Word 72003 program. Why wouldn't you just make it naturally work that way? Why do I have to go and push the little button? Why do I have to select an option so the exact same program from the exact same company that's one year old can read it? I'm not a computer designer, but I am a thinker. I'm just thinking. Why? But, you know, I come out and I say, oh, the new Vista thing, that's evil. You know, once again going right for the evil thing and not looking at the upside, not looking at the right side. Oh, Hey, Mr. Grumpy Puss is back. I mean, why don't you talk about some of the advantages of DOCX? I mean, with the new with the new version, you you know, you get the privilege of not being able to find any of the old features. I love that! You know all the features that you have in the old Word that you've been using for, like, a decade? You can't find them. I have no idea. You know, it's really convenient. It saves so much time.
For example, I mean, why would I ever need the file menu? Why would you ever need that? They're sitting around. They're, like, that's so, like, last month. I'm sure some dope said, but everybody uses the file menu. That's commonly hello! Okay, grandpa. So, I mean, is that's something that I was using all the time. The file menu? Don't even know what it was, quite honestly. The edit menu? What? Don't worry. I've only clicked on it, like, every 15 seconds for the last 20 years. The edit menu? Who need that had? Why not break it up into 12 different icons that nobody knows who the hell those icons are? Spread them out, like, 9 different places. People like to explore. See, I think Microsoft aren't they the people that did Expedia? They did some travel service or something at one point? I think they were, like, Hey, people like to explore, they like to go on vacation. We can make our software like a little vacation. It's like Where's Waldo? Everybody likes to play that. Where's the file menu? Where's the cut can/copy? Where is that? I don't know. Maybe I should go explore. It's like you're in a jungle all of the sudden. It's wonderful! Vista. New horizons. Seems rational to me.
I know, I know. I'll get, like, 1,200 e mails saying, Glenn, just triple click the mailings tab and then hold down Y9 and everything is going to be fine. I know. It's just that easy. Don't bother sending them. I'm just making it up, you know. I would just rather sit in my house with veins popping out of my forehead praying for the safe return of the file menu, but I'm sure I'm alone. Right, grandpa? Oh, man.
