GLENN: Now, last night he started to -- he's brilliant. He started to give the speech that he needed to be giving the whole time. He was giving the speech of, you know, little Sally Muckenfutch without a face, except listen to the way this guy -- he won't wear a flag lapel pin but listen to the way this man wrapped himself in the flag last night. Listen to this.
SENATOR OBAMA: I know the promise of America because I've lived it. Michelle has lived it. You have lived it. It is the line of opportunity that led my father across an ocean.
GLENN: Okay, stop for a second. We know it's interesting. He said, I have lived it; Michelle has lived it. Remember yesterday Michelle was talking about -- and I want to make sure I get this exactly right here -- the veil of impossibility that is hanging over all of our heads, end quote. That's the way Michelle Obama expressed it the night before last in a speech in North Carolina. There, is that your view of America? Here's somebody who says, "I've lived it; my wife has lived it." His wife? I'm sorry. Fear creates this veil of impossibility that is hanging over our heads. She also talked about how she struggled anyhow she shouldn't have been at Princeton and she shouldn't have been at Harvard but she did it. But it wasn't done in a way where she was making the point, you can do it, too. She was giving the point, they keep moving the bar on us. You work, you keep doing it but then they move the bar. I know, as an alcoholic that was always my problem. And so you can never reach the bar. So Barack, I don't buy it. I don't -- I mean, it's very, very good. And the general person in America will buy this but boy, oh, boy, you've got to wake people up because this guy is good. All right, more from his speech.
SENATOR OBAMA: It's the founding ideals that the flag draped over my father's coffin stand for.
GLENN: Stop. First of all, I can't take the guy's accent. I can't take his accent. I mean, I don't think I could take George Bush's accent, but I can't take four years or eight years of, "My father's -- with the flag draped coffin, was on my father's." I can't take it. I can't take it. I don't even know what it is. Is it southern? Have you noticed that when he goes up north, it kind of sounds northeastern and then when he goes down south, it's more southern? He's like Madonna. You know how Madonna comes back and she's like, "I'm just..." you're from New York! Has anybody else noticed that?
STU: I have noticed that I mean, it was a big criticism of Hillary that she was changing her accent to the southern drawl.
GLENN: Oh, I hate these people. Stop with the accent.
STU: Politicians in general, they are all irritating. Has anyone ever changed a vote because of the way a voice sounds?
GLENN: Somebody's accent, we're like, oh, he sounds like me.
STU: Right. Like, we killed Hillary Clinton for her terrible speaking voice in that shrieking sort of --
GLENN: You know, maybe we need to add that to our stage show. Maybe I should do part of it. When I'm in the South, I'll do part of it like, hey, Jethro, I'm just like you.
STU: This is my impression of what I think southern people sounds like.
GLENN: Yeah. Well, I was just eating some grits last night and I was thinking, shoot, I wish I had a beer. Now let's talk energy policy.
STU: But that was the criticism of Hillary Clinton that she was doing that, and I don't see how that -- like her voice is terrible, it irritates me to no end but I wouldn't not vote for her because of it. I would not vote for her because of her crappy policies.
GLENN: Or not. The flag-draped coffin over his -- oh, I can't -- all right. So anyway, he won't wear a flag lapel pin but he will talk about the flag draped coffin of his father.
SENATOR OBAMA: It is life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It's the simple truth I learned all those years ago when I worked in the shadow of all those shuttered steel mills on the south side of Chicago.
GLENN: Stop. Dan, do me a favor. Look in the music. Get the music blog open. Can you just look under Billy Joel. Can you find Allen for me, please. And then I think we should just run Allentown instead of the rest of the speech because you know he's going to start talking about, oh, jeez. And then there's poor little Sally Muckenfutch. Go ahead, hit Allentown, please.
GLENN: Ladies and gentlemen, the next President of the United States, Mr. Barack Obama!
SENATOR OBAMA: But in this country justice can be won against the greatest odds. Hope can find its way back from the darkest of corners. And when we are told that we cannot bring about the change that we seek, we answer with one voice. Yes, we can. So North Carolina and America, don't ever forget that this election is not about me or any candidate. Don't ever forget that this campaign is about you.
SENATOR OBAMA: It's about your hopes. It's about your dreams. It's about your struggles. It's about your aspirations. It's about securing your portion of the American dream. Don't ever forget that we have a choice in this country, that we can choose not to be divided, that we can choose not to be afraid, that we can still choose this moment to finally come together and solve the problems we've talked about all those other years and all those other elections. This time can be different than all the rest. This time we can face down those who say our road is too long, that our climb is too steep, that we can no longer keep the change that we seek. This is our time to answer the call that so many generations of Americans have answered before by insisting that by hard work and by sacrifice, the American dream will endure. Thank you. Thank you, North Carolina.
GLENN: He's fantastic.
SENATOR OBAMA: May God bless you and the United States of America. Thank you.
GLENN: All we need is a little sacrifice. All we need is a little sacrifice and we can get out of Allentown. They're taking the coal from the ground -- not anymore. The unions, yeah, they got a stranglehold on us. Yeah. Unions didn't leave. They are out killing another business now. That's what they're doing.
STU: Isn't this a remix on the typical Democratic speech? That's what Obama does well is he's not just bitching about Allentown. He's saying that there's positive -- he's, of course, explaining it with no detail and how they're going to be here but at least he's saying it is possible.
GLENN: Of course. He's really good at using all of the Ronald Reaganisms, but he doesn't believe in any of them.