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GLENN: Let me go to Phil in Huntington, West Virginia. So there's something to be said for marrying up. There's a lot to be said for marrying up.
STU: There's not a lot to be said necessarily for marrying up because
GLENN: No, because of hotness? No, no. That doesn't hurt.
STU: Right.
GLENN: But there's got to be more to it than that.
STU: For it to actually work unless you just want a five year party which is what Billy Joel got.
GLENN: Yeah, it may be what he wanted.
Phil, go ahead.
CALLER: Hi. Well, Glenn, I've got to take a little disagreement with you. I'm 31 years apart from my fiance. We have a 3 year old and
GLENN: You old fashioned guy, you.
CALLER: It is not, it is not for money, trust me. This is real.
GLENN: What do you mean, trust? Like she's hideously ugly or you're hideously broke? You're like, trust me, it ain't for that?
CALLER: Well, yes, we scrape by and she is not hideously ugly. She's extraordinarily beautiful inside and out.
GLENN: Okay. She's right behind you, isn't she? How did you guys meet?
CALLER: She was visiting her relatives and saw me in church.
GLENN: So you met at church.
CALLER: Well, she met me at church and then later found me.
GLENN: Okay. And how old are you?
CALLER: I'm 53.
GLENN: How old is she?
CALLER: She will be 23 next month.
GLENN: She will be 23?
CALLER: Yes.
GLENN: So you
STU: She is 22 is what you're saying.
CALLER: Yes.
GLENN: She's 22. I'm doing the math. So at 19 she became pregnant.
DAN: Nine months of pregnancy, Glenn.
CALLER: Almost 19.
GLENN: 18, and you were 50.
STU: Who knows the law? You do. That's good work, my man.
DAN: Aren't there websites for stuff like that?
GLENN: So how old was she when you met her?
CALLER: Yes.
GLENN: How old were you when you met her?
DAN: And who drove her to meet you?
CALLER: Yes.
GLENN: Holy cow.
STU: At what jungle gym were you hanging around at?
GLENN: See, now Phil, I have to say I think I'm with Dan.
STU: I'm with Dan, too.
GLENN: On the dirty old man thing.
DAN: What was her babysitter fee?
GLENN: Wow. If my daughter was 18, 17 and a 50 year old man was hanging around, I think I'd have a problem.
STU: What did she name the Build a Bear?
CALLER: I would have the same problem, Glenn, because I have
GLENN: But this is a
CALLER: I have a 27 year old daughter and a
GLENN: How's the 27 year old doing with this whole thing?
CALLER: Not good.
GLENN: With a 22 year old mom, you don't think so?
CALLER: Well
GLENN: What did you guys, when you were 50 and she was 18, what did you guys talk about?
CALLER: Glenn, relationships sometimes can be timeless.
GLENN: So in other words
CALLER: For real.
GLENN: You both like soup? What did you guys talk about? What did you have in common? Don't give me this timeless thing. That means she's hot.
CALLER: Yes.
DAN: You guys like to go on romantic walks to the court?
CALLER: But that wasn't the attraction.
GLENN: What was the tell me about it, Stevie Wonder. What did you see in her besides her hotness?
CALLER: Her hotness actually was a turnoff because it was pushed too hard.
GLENN: Too hot. It was so hot it was burning.
CALLER: When two ESP souls can meet, it's beautiful.
GLENN: Two what, two what souls?
CALLER: When two souls can meet and there's a little bit of ESP where the souls can communicate, it's timeless.
GLENN: I mean, are you rehearsing for your court date? I mean, this is unbelievable.
DAN: Puberty should not matter in a relationship.
STU: Timeless.
GLENN: When two souls can
CALLER: I can prove it on MySpace.
GLENN: What did you say?
CALLER: I said I can prove it for you on MySpace.
STU: This is not working for you, this argument.
GLENN: This is not working for you, pictures of my hot wife, I have pictures of her when she was 15 on the Internet. This is not going well for you, Phil.
STU: I'm Chris Hanson. Phil, what are you doing here? Do you want another cookie?
GLENN: Back in a minute.
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