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PAT: Let's go back to Michelle in New Jersey who is telling us about her 40 Day 40 Nights Challenge. Okay, Michelle, go ahead.
CALLER: So I'm the terrible mother who lies to her children. When they want ice cream and it's after bedtime, rather than saying no, it's after bedtime, I say we just don't have any, so I don't have to hear the arguments.
STU: Ah, you're a liar of convenience.
CALLER: Exactly. They were all lies of convenience. So I said if I'm going to do this 40 day thing, I've got to cut out all these lies. Oh, boy. So I did. And I got all the arguments that I expected I was going to be getting. My life was miserable for several weeks. However, a couple of weeks ago my daughter came to me. She's 8. And she said she wanted to spend $10 on this book/toy thing and I'm taking a deep breath going, oh, jeez, I should tell her no, it's a big waste of money. And I said, well, all right. Can't lie to her. If you want to spend the money, okay, but you said you wanted to save for an iPod. If you spend $10 on this toy, it will take longer to get the iPod. And she got all mad and she huffed away. She came back to me later that night and said, Mom, I decided I wanted the iPod more; I'm not going to buy the book.
CALLER: And it hit me a couple of days after that that she was self regulating. And all those lies of convenience I told her just to avoid the arguments deprived her of the lessons on how and why we make decisions and how to govern ourselves so those little lies that I thought didn't matter, they really mattered.
STU: That's a great point.
PAT: Wow, what a great point. What a great that is really insightful, Michelle. I mean, that's you know, and you can apply that to so many things that we do with our kids like something else we've talked about on a regular basis, participation trophies.
PAT: That's another lie to your kids that does them harm in the long run that we think is soothing their feelings in the short term. You're exactly right. What a great point. So things are better now and they I mean, is your are the kids adjusting to this, to this new reality?
CALLER: They still argue with me when they don't get what they want.
CALLER: But at least they say, right, I don't like it but I understand.
CALLER: Great, I don't like it, either, but I'm glad you're understanding.
PAT: That's great.
CALLER: The arguments are less, and they're starting to figure things out more.
PAT: Yeah. Did you have to eliminate
CALLER: I'm doing better than I was doing at 30.
PAT: Did you have to eliminate anything other than, you know, lies to your family like did you, drugs, coke, nose candy, did you have those things going on in your life?
CALLER: Only the Diet Cokes but I
PAT: Oh, my gosh.
STU: That causes Rumsfeld Plague!
PAT: Wow. Are you poisoning your family with that?
CALLER: You know, we're all going to die of something.
PAT: All right. Thanks, Michelle.