Love is in the air, including free Valentine's day audio


Couple Of The Year - Volume 1

Quite possibly our favorite show of the year-the "Couple of the Year" presentation. Listen back to some of our best moments from these classic shows - available as a CD or download it instantly in MP3 format.

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Free audio: After Hours with Delino

Now, here's a story I found: Surprising reasons you're not having sex. Here's the first one. Your bed isn't sexy anymore. We hear it over and over again the bed should be used for sex and sleep only. So why do we insist on bringing in third parties, laptops, PDAs, Law and Order, et cetera, et cetera. You know what, my doctor has actually told me that, under doctors' orders, nothing else in bed. He said just sleep. And I went, just sleep? And my wife said, you heard him; just sleep. "Your meds are stealing away your sex drive." Whoa. Surprised by that one. Reason number 3: You're not having sex anymore. Your crazy, busy life. (Crackling noise). "I'm in Cairo." Sex RX, I don't even know what that means -- oh, that means what you're supposed to do. I don't care about that one. Next one: You don't like your body. This isn't a new development. Never have. Lucky for me. A long time ago I decided I'm not having sex with me. "You've hit premenopause." Can I? Next one, "Your man's just not into that." Wait a minute. This might be written for women. "You're depressed." Yeah, because I'm not having sex anymore! The last one is "You're sick and tired." Now, wait a minute. It says because you have a thyroid condition. Wouldn't you know because don't your eyes pop out with a thyroid condition? Seriously don't you start looking like those dogs? No, like the pug dog, like Stu's dog, your eyes pop out if you have a thyroid condition. If your eyes are popping out, that's why you're not having sex. But it also says because you might be anemic. I'm anemic, almost had to have a blood transfusion a couple of weeks ago and you know what? I could have had sex on the blood transfusion table. I'm just, I'm a guy. Anemia's going to stop you, puhleez. You need to have a blood transfusion." Sure, can you just leave us alone for a second, Doc? I mean, here are some other reasons. "You're ugly." Hello! I'm not a sex expert but I'm -- you know, I'm thinking, you know, you're ugly and, you know, that's a tough one to overcome especially if you're a woman. If you're a guy, that's not hard to overcome. I'm sorry. That's just the way the world is. How many ugly guys have hot wives? Take me, for example. I don't know why she married -- I think it was low self-esteem. I do. No, really I think it was low self-esteem. I got in -- you know, you buy when the market is low. You know what I mean? While everybody is selling, you buy. And I think I got in there right at the right time. Low self-esteem, wait a minute, could go a little lower, she might come down to my price. Okay, sold! Now her self-esteem is going up. And if my income wasn't going up, she would have ditched me long ago. She would have gone, "Wait a minute, I think I was depressed when I married you." I'm just -- look. I'm not Tania, but I am a thinker.

Okay, so anyway, talking about ugly people. Ugly people, if you're a guy, you can get past it. I don't think you can as an ugly woman. No, I don't -- if you are an ugly woman, I apologize. Oh, you've got a double-cross because if you're an ugly woman, you're probably a Progressive as well. Oh, jeez. I'm sorry. Today's just not your day. But you know what? If you believed in God, you would know that there's going to be another chance for you. You don't have to be ugly in heaven. You are going to be your perfect self and there will be another perfect somebody waiting for you on the other side. Until that time....

Reason Number 2, you're morbidly obese. They didn't cover this one in the other article, but I think when you put surprising -- oh, no, it does say "Surprising reasons you're not having sex." That's not a surprising reason. If you're morbidly obese, there's not a single person that's in line, you know, sitting on that big marshmallow couch, "I'm just going to have some more Cheetos. Ooh, this couch looks tasty." There's nobody that is sitting there eating Cheetos, "I got Cheetos dust all over my throat and thinking, why doesn't anybody want to have sex with me." That doesn't happen. There's no surprise there. You are right, I'm sorry, I take it back. The surprise would be, "I'm on my marshmallow -- you what? You want to have sex with me?" But again the guys make out better than the ladies on this one. Two words: Kevin James. I mean, he married a model. It's Kevin James! Look at him! I defy you to name the fat woman married to some stud guy. Can you do it?

Women are so much better than guys. They are. They just are. They will see -- I don't know how they see past fat. I don't, but they do somehow or another. My wife said to me last night. I said, oh, honey, I'm just tired of being fat and disgusting. I've got to get into shape. And she said, you're not fat. And I said, oh, I love you, my little blind one. You are so great. And by the way, you gain an ounce and you are out of here.

Reason number 3, you haven't done all the chores around the house. That's the one, that's the surprising reason you are not -- you've never tied it to chores! That women can talk about how they want to be romanced and, oh, look at you -- no, uh-uh. They just want you to get the chores done. That's it. It's like, you are like a hamster. And you got to put your nose in that little thing to get the water to come out. You know what I mean? That little thing, you got to get the chores done. You put the nose up in the little -- and the water comes. That's the way it works. You're a hamster! You've got to do the whole chore thing and I mean, men don't do the whole chore thing, there are very few times when men are not in the mood. The unfortunate thing for guys is one time when you're not in the mood is once you've finished all the chores. Because all day you're like, it's my whole Saturday is gone! I've been running around doing these darn chores! (Grumbling). Okay!

Reason Number 4: "You just bought that 63-inch plasma screen." I mean, honey, I love sex and everything, but have you seen how big the TV is? This is fantastic! Reason Number 5: "The ogle factor. We're guys. We're pathetic. We'll ogle a mannequin. Have you seen the Victoria's Secret's mannequins? They are so incredibly hot. You, like, drive by and you're like, don't look, don't look, don't look! It's a mannequin, for the love of Pete. We ogle the mannequins. I don't want to ogle mannequins. You just do. You're a guy! Women don't understand that. "How come you never look at me like all the women at the mall." "I don't know. Maybe because you're not made of paper mache. I don't know! Happy Valentine's Day! Oh!

On Monday's episode of "The Glenn Beck Radio Program," Glenn opened up about the tragic death of his brother-in-law, Vincent Colonna Jr., who passed away unexpectedly on April 5. He also shared some of the important thoughts and insights he's learned through the grieving process.

"Last Monday, I was sitting in this chair ... the two-minute warning comes and Stu said to me, 'You ready for the show?'' ... And that's when my wife [Tania] came to the door of the studio here at our house and said, 'I...' and she held the phone up. And then she collapsed on the floor in tears," Glenn began. "Tania's brother had passed. To say this was a shock, is an understatement."

Glenn described his brother-in-law as having "a servant's spirit."

"He was always the guy who lit up the room. He was always the guy helping others. He would never stop, because he was always helping others," Glenn said of Vincent. "He was on the school board. He was a little league coach. He was the soccer coach. He helped build the church. He took care of the lawn of the church. He was constantly doing things, raising money for charity, working over here, helping to organize this. But he was never the guy in the spotlight. He was just the guy doing it, and you had no idea how much he had done because he never talked about it.

"We also didn't know how much mental anguish he was in because he never talked about it. And last Monday morning, after spending Easter with the family ... he killed himself. This is now the third family member of mine that has gone through this. And I keep seeing it play out over and over and over again, in exactly the same way."

Glenn described his thoughts as he, Tania, and her family struggled to come to grips with the devastating loss.

"I learned some really important things as I was watching this wake. I'm seeing these people from all walks of life ... the people that were there, were there because [Vince] made a difference in their life. He was a true servant. As I'm watching this, all that kept going through my mind was, 'by their fruits, ye shall know them.' The fruits of his labor were on display. He was a servant all the time. All the time ... he found a way to love everybody.

"There are two great commandments: Love God with all your heart and mind and soul. And love your neighbor. So those two great commandments boil down to: Love truth. Because that's what God is," Glenn said.

"Love thy neighbor. That's where joy comes from. The opposite of joy is despair, and that is the complete absence of hope ... and how do you find joy? You find joy by rooting yourself in the truth. Even if that's a truth you don't want to accept. Accept the truth," he added. "But we have to stop saying that there's nothing we can do. What are we going to do? Well, here's the first thing: stop living a lie."

Watch the video clip below to hear more from Glenn:


Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

After imprisoning a pastor for refusing to follow COVID-19 restrictions, Canadian officials barricaded his church. And when some church members retaliated by tearing down part of the fence, Canadian Mounties arrived in riot gear.

Rebel News Founder Ezra Levant joined Glenn Beck on the radio program to give his insight on the crazy situation. He described the new, armed police presence surrounding GraceLife Church in Edmonton, Alberta, and how it not only encouraged hundreds of protesters to stand with the church in support but forced congregation members underground to worship as well.

What's happening is eerily similar to what occurs everyday in China, Levant says, and it must stop. Who would have thought this type of tyranny would be so close to home?

Watch the video below to hear Ezra describe the religious persecution taking place in Canada.


Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Enough prayers? Why is supposed Catholic Joe Biden suggesting that Congress ought to stop praying for after someone commits acts of gun violence?

On Friday, Stu Burguiere and Pat Gray filled in for Glenn and discussed President Joe Biden's remarks during his speech on gun control. "Enough prayers. Time for some action," Biden said. Stu and Pat were surprised how dismissive Biden appeared to be on the idea of prayer.

Watch the clip to hear more. Can't watch? Download the podcast here.

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Just days after Canadian pastor James Coates was released from prison for refusing to bow to COVID-19 lockdown restrictions, several police officers showed up at another church to ensure restrictions were being followed. But Polish pastor Artur Pawlowski of the Cave of Adullam Church in Alberta, Canada, knew his rights, telling the cops not to come back until they had a warrant in hand.

Filling in for Glenn Beck on the radio program this week, Pat Gray and Stu Burguiere played a video of the interaction.

"Please get out. Please get out of this property immediately. Get out!" Pawlowski can be heard yelling at the six officers who entered his church.

"Out! Out! Out! Get out of this property immediately until you come back with a warrant," he continued. "Go out and don't come back. I don't want to talk to you. You Nazis, Gestapo is not allowed here! ... Nazis are not welcome here! Do not come back you Nazi psychopaths. Unbelievable sick, evil people. Intimidating people in a church during the Passover! You Gestapo, Nazi, communist fascists! Don't you dare come back here!"

Watch this clip to see the heated exchange:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.